Something I read today...

I didn't write this but it hit the spot for me today so I thought I'd share it...plus it went right along with a song that I heard this morning. Don't know why but God continues to amaze me in the way that He speaks to me...

Reaching Out to God

Its true that sometimes when we need Him most we feel far away from Godhurting, alone, forgotten, trampled down by a crowd of problems. Maybe at that point weve given up on ever feeling close to Him again. Maybe we feel dirty and unfit, covered with worldly dust that robs us of courage and weakens our faith.

Well, girlfriend, let me tell you: when you find yourself in that kind of ordeal, remember the woman in the Bible who reached out through the mob to touch the hem of Jesus cloak. There may have been something in her than wanted to think He had passed her by or forgotten her or turned His back on her. . . . Ah, but she knew better. She knew that even if she didnt feel close to Jesus, even if she couldnt look Him in the eye and talk to Him face to face, He still knew she was there. So she came up behind Him and flung out her arm through the raucous crowd, knowing, If I only touch His cloak, I will be healed.

And she did. And she was.

Thelma Wells

One Touch; Nicole C. Mullen; Sharecropper's Seed
Been ostracized for 12 years
I'm used to being alone
Spent everything I had
And now it's gone
I'm used to being put down
My issues tell it all
My only hope is anchored
In this fall
If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'd be made whole
If I could just press my way through this madness
His love would heal my soul
If only one touch
So many people calling
How could He ever know
That just a brush of Him
Would stop the flow
If he knew would He rebuke me
Or shame me to the crowd
Well I'm desperate 'cause it's never or it's now
Suddenly He turned around
He said somebody has unleashed my power
Well, Frightened and embarrassed I bowed
You see I told Him of my troubles
And how...
I had to touch the Hem of His garment
And I know I've been made whole
And how I had pressed my way through the madness
And His love has healed my soul
Then with one word He touched the hem of my garment
And you know I've been made whole
And somehow He pressed His way through my madness
And His love has healed my soul
I tell you He touched me
He reached way down and touched me
When no one else would touch me
Jesus, shol' 'nough He touched me...
And I know I've been made whole.

I love the fact that no matter what I'm doing in my life God finds those teachable moments when I least expect it. I just pray for open ears, expectant heart, and a prayerful spirit to be able to accept His still small voice. BTW this is a GREAT CD so if you get a chance to hear it or get it do!!!

I need help PLEASE!!!

I know I promised and update about camps and VBS but this is on my heart…

As I have written about before in this blog I have 3 "foster kids" living with us right now. They have been at our home since the middle of February and yes we knew that the 20 was pregnant when she moved in. Not knowing how long they were staying I didn't really plan for the new baby that was coming in August. She's having the baby August 5th and I am SO NOT PREPARED!!!! Yes I have taken care of so many babies/children in my life but not one of them lived with me on a permanent basis. This is where you come in...I know SOOOOO many of you great mommies out there know what it takes to bring a baby home. Here are some of the questions that I am hoping that you can answer for me.

-She is having a boy what do we need to have at home to care for him after his little “surgery” on his peepee?
-How about the umbilical cord what do you use to clean that?
-What were the MUST HAVES (besides diapers/wipes) that you couldn’t live without when you got home from the hospital?
-She is having a c-section any special instruction I need to know about helping her heal?
-What are some of the best website for new mommies?
-Any places that you have found that give great deals or samples to new mommies?
-What is the biggest thing that you learned the first 2 weeks home from the hospital with your new little bundle of joy?

Any advice will be appreciated for this floundering friend. I know there is a mommy but she looks to me to have the answers at times and I want to be as prepared as I possible can be.

Take a look at the little one who is going to be joining our household in just a few short days. This was taken at 32 weeks, he has his hand under his chin. I told his mommy that it looked like he was praying!MAN this is such a weird feeling...

Finally a blog moment

Has it really been more than two months since I blogged???? WOW!!! On one hand it feels like it was just yesterday but so much has happened that I don't know where to begin. I started a few posts about my not so every day live.

Well for starters on Saturday May 10th my mom went to the hospital with a horrible pain in her chest, back and stomach. Thinking she was having a heart attach she was relieved to know that it was just a gallbladder problem. Yes in case you were wondering it REALLY did come on fast. Usually with a gallbladder they send you home and set up a time to take it out. They didn't in her case...Thank you God! They went in to take it out on Monday and they were glad they did. It was so filled with infection and gangrene that if it were to have ruptured than it would have most likely killed her. They tried to get all the infection out but some of it attached it self to the back of her right lung and caused it too collapse and caused fluid around her heart. They moved her to ICU to keep a closer eye on her because she has having such pain and difficulty breathing. The Dr's tried many different things to remove the infection but it didn't work. They had to go in and do a major lung surgery on May 20th.

While all this is going on with my mom, Grandfather, my mom's dad passed away on May 16th. ALL the Dr's suggested that we NOT tell her while she was in that condition. So with much prayer and discussion we agreed with the Dr. Kim and Kenny did get to go the furnel while I stayed with Mom during her surgury. It was a hard desision but I still believe that we did the right thing. God trully blessed us with extremely caring and understandable Dr's and nurses during this hard time. Now that all was said and done she is home with Kim and David in Tampa feeling better each day. Kim and David are doing a great job helping my mom regroup and trying to make her take it easy...that's not always an easy job!

Between my sister's brain anurisum and my mom's gullbladder gone wrong I have spent more time in Florida since October than I have in that past 10 years since I've been gone from there. I am so thankful that God has blessed me with a job and understanding bosses that are willing to allow my time to be with my family and help them in what ever way I can. I pray that this year will be one full of health and happiness for the Clower, Wilkerson, Wise family.

The best part about spending time down in Florida was getting to met my georgous new nephew who was born in Costa Rica the end of December. He's offically 6 months old now and keeps getting more good looking with each new picture.
Isn't he cute!!! Look at those blue eyes. He was such a good baby! He took to all of his crazy America family very well. Grandma got out of the hospital just in time to spend some time with baby Kian before they left.

Well I better go and get to bed...I will up date you soon on all my other summer adventures! I can't wait to fill you in!

Answer to Prayer...

Go to Woman of Faith come back refreshed...ahhhhh Sounds nice huh??? It has been the hardest week I can remember. I have not wanted to throw, beat, stomp, spit on as many things as I have this week. Weird huh? When satan wants to hit you he can tend to come full force when he thinks God is moving in your life.

The week started off OK. Shawn was out of town in Wisconsin for work, so it was just me and the three girls. In case you were wondering Taylor has effectively learned every single one of my buttons to push. Even buttons which I didn't know I had. I usually do a fairly good job at reasoning with children. Yes I know Taylor is a teenager...but still I'm older I have more life experience and I should be able to get her to do what I need her to do. I have to admit at one point in time I wanted to throw the tape dispenser at her. :) It must have been the lack of sleep from the weekend and then not sleeping well at all with Shawn being gone. I love her though...she is going to be one AWESOME INCREDIBLE witness for her Heavenly Father. God is making her into one WONDERFUL WOMAN...As for a teenager...I recall what Pastor Ken had to say...Jesus loves you and I'm trying.

Then comes Wednesday...after being at work from 8am until 9:30pm my car started to over heat. Thankfully by God's Grace it over heat just after I got off our exit and Shawn had just home a few hours earlier. I pulled into McD's parking lot and call my car smart husband up to come in rescue us. On Saturday Morning after Shawn replaced the breaks for someone that work with he tried to work on my car. It was too hard and had to take it to an actually professional car doctor. We are just praying now that it won't be too expensive.

Thursday starts out late with no car it's difficult to get 19 miles up the road. I like to get to work at 8 but didn't get to work until 11 and then it seemed like the entire day was shot!

Friday was fun but extremely emotionally draining. I took Kelly, Jaylin, and Taylor to go register at Babies R Us for baby Eli (that's his name Eli Maddox). It seemed like that weekend was just as crazy as the week. To top it ALL off Sadie ,my choclate lab ate over 1/2 my hamburger tonight!!!! IT WAS ON MY PLATE!!!! I DIDN'T OFFER IT TO HER!!! MAN was I ticked! It is true...God gives strength to those who ask. OH there is so much more I could add in here but its late and I'm tried of typing and if your still there you HAVE to be tired of reading about my boring busy life.

How is all of this an answer to prayer you might ask...Before I left Rocky Mount I prayed GOD PLEASE give me a season of rest when i get to Ohio. He did...6 months almost to the day...during that time I prayed Please give me SOMETHING TO DO!!!! God USE ME!!! What's taking so long...

I bet God's laughing saying See that's why you needed 6 months...

Random

I have to admit...I really like/want random things for the most part. I saw this beautiful olive wood salt keeper. Do I need one ABSOLUTELY not...probably not... wait maybe I do...I know that it is just an infatuation but it sounds so nice...

Beautiful and unique, this box keeps a half-pound of cooking salt within close reach on your countertop. It’s from Bérard, the French maker of fine wood products since 1892, and handcrafted from beautifully grained olive wood with an oiled finish. Because each one is carved from the branch of an olive tree, no two are alike and dimensions vary slightly. The salt keeper’s swiveling magnetic lid provides easy access with one hand; rubber feet hold the box steady while you grab a pinch. The stainless-steel hinge resists corrosion.

I went to Woman of Faith this weekend with about 20 woman from my church. It was awesome...I'll blog about that later.

Well I am suppose to be getting ready for a hugh meeting that I have tomorrow. So I better quit drooling over this wonderful olive wood salt keeper and get back to work. Hope you are all having a wonderful SPRING!!!! It's suppose to snow tonight. No I'm not kidding. We JUST opened our pool on Monday.

At 32 another 1st!

It amazes me how fast weeks really do come and go when you grow up. Well I have to admit I didn't become a pro at Guitar Hero like I wanted to last week...I got sick. Brandie and he sisters arrived here on Thursday evening and I got sick with strep throat Friday morning. Except I didn't know what it was. I have never had strep throat. I got a sky high fever and broke out with at least 200 pimples on the back of my neck. I went to the dr on Monday and he said there was no doubt it was a bad case of strep. Thought it was kind of funny God chose to allow me to have a huge amount of pimples but he put them on the back of my neck. I couldn't see them or anything. I was too scared to pop them for the fear that they might spread.

Well its been a crazy busy week since then. We had encounter this weekend. Not all church's have it but it is a pretty powerful weekend for those who are ready. I of course was in charge of children. Shawn spoke and did a really good job from what I hear. After serving in weekends such as this it always excites me to see God moving in the lives of those who attend but there are times when I leave a weekend such as this asking begging for God tosweep me away in His arms where nothing matters and be refreshed in nothing else but His presence. Where there are no intruptions...just the ability to sit at His feet and lean back aginst him and SOAK in His presence. I am praying for a time such as that REALLY SOON!

It's offical

As I sit here in the cool morning air with my cup of coffee I have come to a realization... In case you were wondering what it was I absolutly possitivly SUCK at Guitar Hero!Brandie brought her two little sisters up here this weekend and they brought Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution. I don't mind admitting it. I do have to say it was pretty funny watching my play. The people on the TV were BOOING me and wanting to kick me off the stage, Gabbie kept saying "Please let me turn it on pratice for you then they won't boo you." After about the fourth try of Hit Me With Your Best Shot on easy I actually made through the entire song. YEAH ME!!! Well this weekend will be entirely devoted to becoming a pro at GH and DDR!!! I will let you know how it turns out.

A request for VBS...

And NO that is NOT a STD... Its VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL!!! How many of you out there remember your childhood VBS experiences????? In preparations of this years VBS my wonderfully awesome coordinator came up with a list of prayer request to hand out to all our voulenteers...Thought i might ask you to pray as well.

VBS preparation:
-order & structure in preparing curriculum and classrooms
-favor in receiving supplies & donations
-RESPONSIBLE, spirit-filled adults to volunteer

Prepare volunteers:
-to minister to the childresn and their families
-to be patient, to show kindness and love to use wisdom
-to coorperate & to be courteous to church staff, VBS Directors, and other volunteers

Prepare the children:
-to receive Christ as their Savior
-to be excited about participating
-to take the love of Jesus home to their families

Prepare the Parents/Guardians:
-to send their child to VBS
-to be punctual in dropping off and picking up their children
-to witness & experience the love of Christ @ VBS

VBS Conclusion
-Salvation of chilren and their families
-Growth in families' relationships with Christ and each other
-REST for all church staff and volunteers

I would LOVE to hear about experiences that you had at VBS when you were a child. What do you wish they would have done or things that you HATED that they did. Its always intresting to me get a perspective of what we thought of as children.

7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

Hard to take at times...

It has been so long since Shawn and I started trying to have babies that you'd think that I'd be use to all the "baby talk" around the church. It still sucks it sill hurts it still makes me want to cry. I usually do a fairly good job of holding it together,believing in God's promise for us but it wasn't that way tonight. I almost lost it about a dozen times. My heart hurts, and it hurts in a way that is unexplainable in words.

In the mist of this there are firsts...I've now been to my first OB appointment for a pregnancy. Today I have picked up my first prescription for prenatal vitamins and am preparing for my first ultrasound on Wednesday. I was so excited in the beginning now all I keep thinking is...That should be me. Why isn't that me? Yet I know my faith must remain strong...struggle sometimes.

Romans 4:20Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.

Great Expectations

I have been praying and praying that God will give me an over all vision for the children's ministry at the church where I attend as well as work. I feel like God has said many things to me regarding His vision for this church. I don't feel like I have the over all vision for the children's ministry yet but God continues to speak in His still small way visions of certain aspects the children's ministry which gives me a different sense of excitement.

I started working at the church the end of May last year and went directly in to planning for VBS mid June. YES that is what you call diving in head first. Last years VBS went well for putting it together in matter of a month or so...but this years I know will be outstanding. Last year every step from preparation to cleaning up I heard God say "maintain and learn". This year I feel like God's saying "Obtain and don't refrain". I feel like He is saying "STOP putting me in a box. Your curriculum may come in a box but but I DON'T. Go outside the norm and teach these children how to reach for me when they learn how to reach for me that's when they will learn how to reach others with my love."

I LOVE working with children because they teach me so much and come expecting to be taught...WE should go to God that same way. When we come to Him come expecting Him to touch us talk to us hold us CHANGE us HE WILL. We have to be willing to have an expectant heart and mind. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matt 7:8 If we don't ask...if we don't ask with great expectations we are the ones missing out on God's blessings.

Please pray for our ever changing children's ministry at COL. We are growing changing and learning how to reach...to step outside the box and recreate where God has called us to be.

So much bigger than me

There is a song by Pocket Full of Rocks that has continues to flood my brain. It called Bigger:

I try to put You in my little box. But You keep busting hinges and You keep picking locks. And I see a bigger picture, how small I really am...What's a man to do when he comes face to face with the divine When every part of me wants to run away and hide.

Shawn and I have been trying unsuccessfully now for 112 months to get pregnant. It would be easy to give up or to say that it isn't in "God's plan" for us to have a baby. If I'm being honest I am tempted at times to say that myself. God continues to bust through my box that I continually put him in unknowingly at times. There have been so many things running through my brain the past 10 years while preparing for this child that I know God has promised us, but for some reason I still have this underlying confidence that God really isn't a God that he should lie and that he WILL give me the desires of my heart...just on his time table.

The way God stretches me really hurts sometimes. The 20 year old staying at our house is about 5 months pregnant...She is just starting to show...She has felt the baby for a few weeks now but I am just now able to feel the baby. A single mom of soon to be two little precious gifts from God...I have never wanted to run and hide as much as I do right now. Can't I just run and hide while I wait for His time? Why is my JOB-DAILY JOB- to work with families and children. As much as I LOVE IT...Its hard, but I know that's selfish. I don't know what you thought when you were in first grade and were asked what do you want to be when you grow up but I KNEW I WAS CALLED TO BE A MOMMY. No doubt...in my child like faith I KNEW that's what God created me to be. Sometimes I just kind of find it funny where God places me & who God places in my life. In those times I look around and realize how BIG my God really is.

...Lord I found it quite amazing, somewhat amusing too The way some of us try and put our fences around You. But I'm grateful for Your mercy and for Your patient grace. And to think that You invite me Lord to look upon Your face.

Like mother like daughter...

We are going up on our eighth week of having three girls at our house it amazes me how much my mother comes out in me. Here are jut a few of the many things that are coming out in me...
-WANTING to clean up after all they do but realizing that it is part of their life experience to learn these things.

-Asking question after question to get the whole truth nothing but the truth... PLEASE HELP ME GOD!

-Going to the store for what feels like the millionth time this week spending $100 and feeling like you've got nothing. Not to mention coming home from the store and feeling like its ALL gone in a day. My mom blamed it on the "growing boys". Shawn is my only boy and he's growing alright :)

-Feeling like you say "No" or "May be later" WAY more than you say YES, but wishing you could say yes to everything their hearts desires.

-Trying to finish fixing dinner as fast as you they will quit asking "what are we having for dinner?" or "is dinner ready yet?"

-Asking "Have you done you homework yet?" knowing the answer is NO.

-Feeling like things are never done until all are in bed asleep and prayed for before then you can rest peacefully for the evening before you have to get up in a few hours and do it all over again.

Mom thank for all the things I saw no need for growing up. Thank you for telling me no even when I didn't want to hear it. Thank you for being my mom when it wasn't easy to be my mom. Since I was the last of four with two boys before me I know you must have been worn out! There were so many things that I found so frustrating as a teenager that I said I WOULD NEVER do when I have children. I know these children aren't here for forever but Mom I could have never done this with out YOU! Thank you mom for instilling a Godly foundation in me that will never be destroyed. I love you MOM!

Child like faith

Last Easter Shawn leans over to me at church and says...I think that it is time to start looking seriously in to the foster care program. We have both thought it so many times but NEVER at the same time. In fact I remember saying I would love to do that but there is NO WAY that I could. I could NEVER be a foster parent.

I'm not sure how many of you know but about 7 weeks ago Shawn and I have taken into our home a group of "foster children". The reason I use the quotations is because it is not done through the state. These children were just part of a family in our church that was in need and God opened the doors for us to take them in for what in the beginning was three weeks. It has now progressed to July or August. This has been a huge change for both Shawn and I. Personally, I have worked with children in some way shape or fashion both in and out of the ministry since I was 14 but they never lived with me. There have been many challenges and adjustments that we have had to make. First and Fore most...We can't walk around naked anymore... :)

Shawn and I have desired to have our own children for about 9 years now with out success but we have always found joy and love from enjoying our friends children and have always wondered why God had never blessed us with children. It says in Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the disires of your heart...Then why is it time for others to have babies but not us? I have been on my face before God countless times asking and searching for some form of answer. I finally have some form of and answer. Our home is now filled with a musically gifted 20 year old who is preparing to have her second child, a painfully bruised but EXTREMELY talented beautiful 14 year old, and a (now) 4 who is learning new things each day and is always ready to entertain. (In case you were wondering the 20 year old is the mother of the 4 year old.) Their story is INCREDIBLE and honestly wouldn't be surprised if you see it in book form some day.

God has blessed us with children for a season, and continues to AMAZE us with the things that THEY TEACH US!!!! Don't for one minute think that we believe that this is all about US "helping" them. God has done so much in our personal walk with Him. I was talking to the 4 year old on Easter...Bright eyed and full of hope she said, "Kara did you know that Jesus fought a BIG fight with the devil and the devil thought he'd won but then JESUS rose from the dead to win the fight JUST so I could live forever in heaven with HIM!" Yeah I know that but to hear it in those words...so simple...so true...Her faith amazes me.

Thank you God for these blessings no matter how the length of time.

I have to admit...I am a blog virgin...

But not after today! I have read blogs till I have lost track of time. But this is my first time ever writing/doing a blog...not sure if I'll continue but at least I can say that I tried and it either was or wasn't for me. The whole blog thing intimidates me because I've read a lot of yours out there and they are awesome! I am not known for putting my feelings into words or expressing myself in the most eloquent way but I usually have an oppinion about most things. I realize that one of my greatest emotional needs is to be heard. I'm not one to go around and tell everybody what my oppinion is but what I desire is for my oppinion to want to be heard not because I forced it on someone but because it is actually wanted. So the way I think about this is...If someone WANTS to read my blog then great...if not this is purly an avenue for me to release what I am thinking or feeling about a particular issue. No promises that you will receive any WISEdom from reading this blog (lol) but may be this will be yet another way for God to speak to me through what is writen. So let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am a 32 year old wife, friend, sister, daughter and christian education director at our church. I am the youngest of four...born and raised in Tampa Florida...MAN DO I MISS THE BEACH...who currently resides in Bolivar, Ohio with my husband and two beautiful dogs. Getting to Ohio has been a ten year journey that first lead us to Lakeland Florida, Salisbury Maryland, and most recently to Rocky Mount North Carolina. It is awesome to be able to look back and see Gods hand in every place that we've been. There are things that I miss about each place but if I had to chose any place to move back to it would be North Carolina. We moved there knowing NO ONE and moved to Ohio leaving our family and a lot of wondeful memories...here are just a few reasons we love rocky mount...

The Girls enjoying the yard


Webb Man


Shawn and Sarah

Sarah!

Our First House

Blue Teeth Troy

Shawn Squared!

There are so many more but I'll post it another time!!!