Appointment Update

I haven't posted since my appointment because I have been trying to process it. I can't really say that I am "done" processing it because I feel like I have no answers.

I have a feeling this may be a love hate relationship with my Dr. He's good but so he's busy... At least at this appointment. So that means he has no time to hear my stories of how I felt nor does he probably even really care. After I sat in the little room for 45 mins he walks in glances at my belly button and says how are you feeling and I say fine. He says you look great lets go to my office.

We go into his office and he closes the door and proceeds to show me my pictures. First was the endometriosis...which he said wasn't too bad but the scare tissue all over was "severe". What is the scare tissue from? He says its from the endometriosis. SO then he goes on to the next picture which is my uterine wall. He said that it is shedding and trying to regrow all at the same time because my hormones are out of whack. I asked him, "What can I take to help that? Metphormine?" No, that just for blood sugar he said... That usually happens when people have really heavy periods...Well I don't have heavy painful periods...They may last 3-5 days and its not too heavy and mine aren't painful...He says then I don't know why its doing that then...He closes my chart and seemed like everything was over and I ask well what about my left tube? He said I'm not really sure if its open...I said What? you said that you opened my tube during that procedure. He said well we really don't know until we do an HSG...So we'll schedule one of those and then go from there. I said...what about clomid or something...He said i'm not giving you anything until I see if your tube is open. He walked me out to the secretaries desk and told her to set me up and appointment for an HSG.

Needless to say I left there feel pissed at myself because I didn't stand up and say...I KNOW that you are busy and I KNOW that there are a lot of people waiting but having a baby is important to me and I don't like feeling like you pushing me out the door. There are so many more questions that I wanted to ask but didn't have time to even think of them much less ask them...

I went home that night and told Shawn what happened at the appointment. He asked, "Isn't that the one where they shoot the dye through your tubes?" Why yes my smart husband that's been paying attention, "that it is what it is." He said that said. "Why would he want to do that when you he said he put dye through the tubes day I had the surgery. He came out and told me that they shot dye through both sides and they were open."

Why would the Dr come and tell Shawn that and then ask me to have an HSG done. So I called the Dr on Friday and told the nurse what happened and she said I'll call you back. So she called me back and told me yes you still need to have a HSG done because the one you had done was a LONG time ago. I said no my husband said that the dr came out and told him that he put dye through my tubes while I was in surgery. Why would I need to have an HSG done if he JUST basically done? She said "oh I didn't understand that the first time. Honestly I don't have your file over here at this location but I will call you back when I have it." When the Dr called the night of the surgery asked him about my left tube? He said "Its open your good! Everything went GREAT" I know I was on drugs but I wasn't out of it.

So basically I'm confused...I know that God has it under control but He has also wants us to make wise choices, but all of this trying to have a baby that you feel like God has promised you can be a little confusing and frustrating sometimes. But after all is said and done I still stand firm on...

Numbers 23:19 “The Lord will grant you abundant prosperity in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground-in the land he swore to your forefathers to give you.

Deuteronomy 28:11 God is NOT a God that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not fulfill?"

I've Been Promoted

To the bed that is. Since Wednesday afternoon I have been on the couch in the basement trying to lay still and not lift or do anything that could possibly make scar tissue. Wednesday and Thursday are nothing but a blur to me. Friday, I honestly expected to feel really good SURPRISE I still felt like crap. Saturday finally off pain pills enough to drive and I went to work with plans to go Christmas shopping! I worked from 10-2 and I was pretty much done. Wasn't sure if I could deal with crazy Christmas people so I went home and went to sleep. I have NEVER slept so much as I have the past few days. Some people might enjoy that but I feel so unproductive and it makes me anxious. There is so much to that needs to still be done and I can't go at my normal pace it kind of makes nervous that I won't be able to get everything done. Anyways back to the procedure...

Here's how it went. Wednesday I woke up at 4:30am (went to sleep sometime after 1am) reminding myself "DON'T FORGET to pee in the cup!". I haven't had anything to eat or drink since about 10pm so I knew I needed to make this one count. I get in there open up the box and follow the 8 YES 8 instructions on HOW TO PEE IN THE CUP. By that time I am doing the pee pee dance around the bathroom making sure that I followed each and every last instruction because I won't be able to muster this up again. After that I crawled back into bed and waited and prayed until my alarm went off. We didn't have to be to the hospital until 8:30am but it was suppose to be icy so we left 2 hours ahead of time for a 45min drive. LOL! You gotta love my husband.

Got to the hospital and waited...isn't that always the way...hurry up and wait. They called me back and explained the procedure about 10 times by about 10 different people. At this point I am realizing that this procedure is going to be a little bigger than I thought. Everyone there was SO nice and helpful. Surprisingly, I wasn't very anxious at this point. They let Shawn come back and wait with me. In his nervousness made really inappropriate comments about all kinds of things. Like the funny looking guy in the waiting room with a comb over that went down the back of his neck. Then the Dr came back with the great news...the surgery had been bumped up one hour! YEAH ME!

I get wheeled back to the OR room and my first response was I wish I could stay awake to see how all this cool equipment works! They laughed and said that I was going to a much nice place. The anesthesiologist told me that she was putting something in my IV and then next was the "happy juice". The DR came over and held my hand and said something to the effect of he was going to fix me right up. Next thing I remember was waking up asking "can I go home yet?" All I could think about was getting home then I knew I could rest.

Shawn said that the DR came out and talked to him and told him the procedure went great. He was able to open up my left tube, removed all the endometriosis and scar tissue and made my uterus sticky! :) What every girl wants for Christmas! I have to admit when Shawn told me that he was able to open up my left tube I almost started crying. To me that was such an answer to prayers! And like every good husband asked, "Dr. How long before, you know, um, we can, um, try?" Don't know if that's EXACTLY how it was asked but I could just imagine. The Dr said 7-10 days.

As I was waking up all I could remember was what one of the nurses pre-surgery told me...If you don't ask for pain meds you won't get it...and you are going to need them. By that time Shawn was back there. He said that they gave me three different doses of pain meds before I actually fully woke up. I asked for ice chips and was able to keep that down and then they wanted me to eat. They brought me a Diet Coke and two different types of crackers. I ate one cracker and drink the entire Diet Coke, but apparently kept asking when I could go home. They gave me two prescriptions for some of the good drugs and sent me home.

I spent the next few days not being able to complete a thought without working really hard at it, Sleeping, watching movies, making plans for different things, talking on the phone or on the computer...but most importantly...praising God for allowing me to find this Dr. giving him the wisdom to find these issues and letting it and knowing how to take care of it and PRAISING GOD for this beautiful child(ren), world changer, that He has promised to us!

Well, its time to get back to the real world. Wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, cook dinner, clean the house, and go to bed to do it all over again. Still not feeling 100% so I am NOT going to lift anything or do anything too difficult. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Can you believe that Christmas is only a few days away??? Who knows I might actually be prego by the end of the year. I have been praying for this child of mine in 2009!

I need help PLEASE!!!

I know I promised and update about camps and VBS but this is on my heart…

As I have written about before in this blog I have 3 "foster kids" living with us right now. They have been at our home since the middle of February and yes we knew that the 20 was pregnant when she moved in. Not knowing how long they were staying I didn't really plan for the new baby that was coming in August. She's having the baby August 5th and I am SO NOT PREPARED!!!! Yes I have taken care of so many babies/children in my life but not one of them lived with me on a permanent basis. This is where you come in...I know SOOOOO many of you great mommies out there know what it takes to bring a baby home. Here are some of the questions that I am hoping that you can answer for me.

-She is having a boy what do we need to have at home to care for him after his little “surgery” on his peepee?
-How about the umbilical cord what do you use to clean that?
-What were the MUST HAVES (besides diapers/wipes) that you couldn’t live without when you got home from the hospital?
-She is having a c-section any special instruction I need to know about helping her heal?
-What are some of the best website for new mommies?
-Any places that you have found that give great deals or samples to new mommies?
-What is the biggest thing that you learned the first 2 weeks home from the hospital with your new little bundle of joy?

Any advice will be appreciated for this floundering friend. I know there is a mommy but she looks to me to have the answers at times and I want to be as prepared as I possible can be.

Take a look at the little one who is going to be joining our household in just a few short days. This was taken at 32 weeks, he has his hand under his chin. I told his mommy that it looked like he was praying!MAN this is such a weird feeling...