Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Baby Weight

I went to the gym yesterday! :)

Well last Friday I finally made a decision. I have been holding back for years because of the "What If's". Told not to by friends and some doctors but Friday was the day I choose what to do for myself.

I am tired of not having a baby. I am even more tired of being over weight and not having a baby. Always thought you were suppose to carry around baby weight AFTER you had the baby...Not for me. I have been carrying around the (non) Baby Weight for over 10 years now. From emotional eating to gaining weight because of the meds I have been taking. Personally I am done with it!

I have always thought I was over weight but when I look back at pictures I wonder what a distorted view I must have had of myself. The weight I am now is not the most I have ever weighed but close to it. My goal is to lose 50 lbs by the beginning of December...17 weeks...3 lbs a week. Three pounds a week on the biggest looser would be a disgrace but 3 lbs a week for me with be a VICTORY!!!

On Friday I signed up for a gym membership. I know that is the only way that I will lose weight. Some may be able to do it by just dieting, but I know my body & I need more. I need the exercise. The good news about my membership is it is less than a dollar a day & there is no contract. So WHEN i do get pregnant if there is any complications where I can't work out I will be able to cancel my membership without any penalty.

So as a reward to myself for becoming healthier...I am booking a condo on Madeira Beach for a week next summer. The date we are looking at is more than a year away but I can't wait. I NEED a real vacation! Haven't had one in a while and am looking SO forward to planting my skinny white butt in the sand!

All of that to say WORK OUT DAY 1: Success!!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Treading Water

The best I can...This summer has been a complete rollar coaster of events.

-The excitement of getting a new puppy the beginning of June.
-The sadness of not being pregnant for our 12th wedding anniversary.
-The excitement of Jr/Sr high camp & then Cadet camp.
-The frustration of coming back to reality of Shawn NOT doing what he said while I was out at camp for two week.
-The saddness in the death of my tomato plants.
-The AWESOMENESS of SonRock Kids Camp VBS!
-The week after VBS finding out that 7 people we pregnant in 7 days.
-Wonderful news that one of my BEST friends (from VA) has found an AWESOME man and the fact that his family lives 30 mins away from me & they were coming for a visit!!!
-Looking forward to vacation and then coming back realizing it was the second worst vacation ever. (for many reasons that I won't go into right now).

Now it's back to reality...I have been off colmid for two CRAZY cycles...still not pregnant. One on my closest friends is due with her 3rd in Nov (I think it will be October). 7 people around me will be having babies this spring.

With FALL staring me in the face I sit here & wonder do I go back to the doctor and start this process of having a baby all over again? Do I take a hint and just give up? or Do we look into adoption?

As I sit here feeling like I am treading water I am ever so great full for friends...My friend Sarah brought me some pictures to go in the "nursery" So as I go in the "nursery" each day I look on the wall and am reminded of

Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest...IF we do not give up!"

2 Chronicles 15:7 "But as for you, be strong and DO NOT give up for your work will be rewarded..."

Jeremiah 32:27 "See, I am the Lord the God of all flesh; is anything too hard for me?"

So I ask you...What is impossible for God?

...Nothing...