Thursday, April 18, 2013

Rest

Within 24 hours God has had me teach on 1 Samuel 3  to my Elementary Kids 
During my morning devotions brought me to  Hebrews 4:1-13
Reminded me of Genesis 2:2-3 and Exodus 20:8

I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I think He might be trying to tell me something. 
REST: noun

        -a bodily state characterized by minimal functional and metabolic activities
      -freedom from activity or labor
      -a state of motionlessness or inactivity
      -peace of mind or spirit (My favorite)

With a 8 week old, a growing changing ministry, 3 beautiful beauties that we have every other weekend, a home, a husband & a family rest can be difficult. 

He has designed me after His own likeness. Who am I to think that if the God of creation needed rest that I don't . I don't purposely NOT rest. It just comes difficult to this ADD girl. I want to be all who He has created me to be. I don't want to waste one moment of what He's given me. All of that sounds good but honestly I just crave rest. 

With my mom here now (which I am so thankful for) the only down time I have is in the car driving somewhere when she is at home taking care of the baby. I pray for God to speak to me and through me but was reminded while teaching on 1 Samuel that He can't when I can't be still in Him. When I can't rest in His presence. Doing what I do there is no corporate worship time or time of rest in a Sunday morning service. With 98 monthly volunteers needed it's difficult to stay still during a service. 

Daily, sometimes moment by  moment, I have to remember to give all of my needs to God. My peace and rest is found in Him alone. I am clearly aware of my neediness of Him. I am thankful for His continued gift of grace and abundant peace. 

I CAN NOT DO THIS LIFE without you Father! I declare need you! I need your peace your grace your love. Thank you for loving me in spite of my daily failures. Thank you for loving me regardless of how I preform.  Please continue to help my find peace and rest.  




Thursday, April 11, 2013

Yep I'm done


I had a really rough Sunday in the ministry this past week. This morning after seeking God's face this week in why I do what I do and when He might let me out of this commitment I sat down trying to figure out my resignation letter...I came across this Resignation Letter. I have changed somethings to make it my own but it lead me to the realization that I.AM.DONE. I will not manipulate this ministry to be what I THINK God or my pastor or the children or the parents want it to be. I will surrender it fully to what God desires it to be...daily...

To My Pastor, Staff & Church family, 

After much prayer and consideration, I have made a private decision I need to make public here today.

Effective immediately, I am resigning as the leader of our church children’s ministry.
I know that this may come has huge surprise to many. You may wonder why I am taking this drastic measure to surrender my position. The answer is simple: The challenges of leadership here are simply more than I can currently handle. It is difficult for me to admit, but I have been in over my head for some time now. I am inadequate to lead this children’s ministry and must surrender my position.

I simply cannot do it alone or be in charge any more. For a long time, I have carried the burden, the debt, the decisions, the pain and the weight of trying to lead this Cathedral’s children’s ministry to greatness.

I thought for a long time that I could do it. I thought I could turn it around. I thought that I could help it grow and reach more families. I thought I was capable of leading our team of leaders in accomplishing great things. I have worked hard to discipline and grow myself as a leader and visionary for our children’s ministry.

More so than ever before God has shown me that I am not the person for this job. For this reason I have made the decision to resign and surrender my leadership position.
All that being said, I have no plans to leave the church.

I just don't want to be the leader anymore. My plan is to continue to serve here, and you will see me around. I may not be as visible, but I will be here. Don't be alarmed by this. When new leadership is securely in place, I promise to you as a church family: I will follow His leadership.

In fact, I have no intentions of resigning from my actual position as Children’s Pastor of our church. I am confident that God called me here for a purpose. I know for today that God has called me to be children’s pastor of this church. Therefore, I am not resigning from my position.

I am simply resigning from any desire to be THE LEADER of the children’s ministry.
That is not my rightful place. My Father is and I am accountable to live under His leadership and authority. I confess to you that this has often not been the case. I have assumed His authority. I have disobeyed His commands.

I have done what I wanted to do at the expense of what He has told me to do. For that, I am sorry. I have already repented to God. Today, I apologize to you.
This will not be my last resignation.

My tendency will be to try to take over and manipulate exactly what God has asked me to do in our children’s ministry here at Cathedral of Life from time to time. I will unconsciously try to steal His glory and His position again. So I plan to make resignation as a leader of this church more a daily practice in my life and ministry.
In fact, I think it will be important for all of us to remember that God is the Leader of this church. No matter how long we have been at this church or how long we have been Christians, it would be mistake not to call everyone accountable as the head of this church other than God Himself. There is not one of us here on staff or sitting here today that deserves to be in charge of His church.

Honestly, there are some others out there who think they are. Others of us wish we were. For that, we all need to repent.

This letter serves as notice that every single church leader that calls our church home needs to surrender their resignations as well.

There is not one of us that has the right to lead this church. None of us can hold on to leadership if we want our church to be successful. We all must surrender control of our leadership. We have all held on to status, position and control too long.

This is not our church or our children’s ministry. It belongs to Jesus. We all must surrender our leadership positions regularly.

As you surrender your leadership roles, let me encourage you by saying that every time I resign, the craziest thing happens: 

An amazing transformation happens in my life.

I feel liberated. My burdens feel lighter.

I feel a sense of incredible relief.

I feel relieved to know that I don't have to be the one who changes the world or this church.

I feel relieved to know that I don't have to envision the future for our children’s ministry.

That IS HIS job. I feel relieved to know that I don't have to make things happen through brilliant strategy, leadership or clever preaching. Life changing is His job. I wish I had never taken that job away from Him. He is so much more capable than I am.
I'm sorry I ever took that role away from Him as well.

I have resigned. I surrender. I'll keep on resigning & surrendering daily. Why? So God can do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine in and through my life and build HIS church THROUGH me! If that sounds desirable to you, would you join me in surrendering your resignation today?

My Father has asked me to surrender faithfully & fully only to Him. It is my dependency on God not my dependency on my ability that he can use.  He has called me to this position He WILL provide.