Christmas Past

I am an extremely sentimental person. I have confetti from the 1st night that Shawn & I met. I treasure the small things that people do for me. Our Christmas tree has a lot of ornaments on it that were made by a child or by me as a child. I wish I had some from when Shawn was little but I think they did their tree different from how mine was done growing up.


Christmas has always meant so much to me. It was a time of year when we as a family were all together. We went to church on Wednesday for Advent then Christmas Eve then again on Christmas morning, & Sunday. Some years that was 4 times in one week! That was a lot of sitting still for a family with four kids.


I loved the fact that we went to church on Christmas morning. I still miss it...We would get up and open our stockings and eat a sugar coated breakfast...Usually Monkey Bread and orange juice. Get dressed and go to church. The entire service was filled with Christmas Carols and the story that we new by heart. The CHRISTmas Story! As we sat there and celebrated the anticipation of what was still under our tree at home was almost more than this little girl could take.


Once we got home my mom took pictures in front of the Christmas tree and then got changed into our "present opening clothes" while my mom pulled out allllllll kinds of finger food. Some years it was turkey other times it was ham for small roll sandwiches and then there was a ton of other stuff. We never had a big family meal on Christmas just a hours of uninterrupted family time!


We would all get a plate of food and then pick a spot to open our gifts. Then either my brother or I would pass out the gifts to each person. My Dad would pull out the trash bag and his pocket knife so he would be ready. My Mom had worked so hard at making each year a Christmas that we would never forget she wasn't going to miss a minute of anyone opening a gift so we went one by one opening one gift at a time. One year we would start at the oldest and work our way down then the next year we started at the youngest and went up. It made Christmas last FOREVER!!!


We would put our try on our clothes, toys together and play all afternoon. Friends of the family would come over in the afternoon...rarely did we leave the house to go anywhere on Christmas except to Church.


I feel so blessed to have such wonderful memories of Christmas. I am so thankful that my mom made such an effort to bless us not with gifts but with the GIFT. We did receive gifts but I remember her saying as my brother, each year, would try to persadue her to let us open gifts BEFORE church...


"You can't open up your gifts until until we celebrate THE GIFT."











Thanks mom for always showing us what the TRUE meaning of CHRISTmas was!





“And Mary said: ‘My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.’”
Luke 1:46&47

Just a little something funny

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Evening massage - 6 p.m.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"

Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett

Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"

On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.

Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Just a little something that made me smile so I thought I'd share. I know I haven't posted anything in awhile...I am still alive...That's a good thing I guess. Praying each and every person out there is having a blessed Christmas season!

He Loves Me

Didn't ever intend to have this blog be a place to post my Youtube findings. It continues to amaze me how many way God speaks to me. Through His Word, Sometimes through friends, but I love it when He uses music. Just reading words or closing my eyes and picturing what just me & Him. He loves us...a love that is so real so true so indescribable at times.

Take a listen. Have you heard this song before? I can't stop listening to it.

Lately my posts have been kind of surface. I have had so many emotions running through my body. And honestly not knowing which way is up. Trying desperately just to stay focused Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Honestly barely having time to sit pray soak in God's presence. Not because I don't want to...I desire to...I crave it...but then on the same hand scared to. I wonder why. Like I said I want it, desire it, crave it. So then why in the world wouldn't I do whatever it takes to get it? I am praying for answers.

On the baby front...Shawn & I haven't talked about it since probably June. I keep saying come January we'll make a decision. Only God knows what'll happen. Adoption is never off the table, but the $$$$ to pay for it isn't in the bank either. My ultimate desire is to be a mom. That's what I have always wanted. I KNOW Shawn would make a great Dad too. We'll see...seems for now I have lots of other peoples kids to help care for and I am only getting older by the day.

Good news my Mom came up from Florida for a visit for about 10 days. It was a blast! I miss her. Praying she retires soon and moves up here for at least 6 months out of the year. Wish I had kids so she would feel like she had a "job" to do I think she would.

As I sit here on Saturday sometimes I wonder if my brain ever really does shut off. I mean I am always thinking figuring wondering working. I wonder what it would be like just to sit and not try to do all that stuff. Praying I figure out how to be still physically spiritually mentally and emotionally before God forces me to do it. Also praying for a VERY SUNNY winter up here in NE Ohio! LOL!! Gotta have my priorities straight you know.

Seeking Only YOU!

This still has to be one of my most FAVORITE songs! Putting it with these pictures just reminds me again just what type of relationship God WANTS to have with us. He wants us there in His lap being able to love on Him but also for us to receive all that love that He has to give us. Just a quick video that I thought I would pass along. Praying it speaks to you as it did to me.

New Fav

This has nothing to do with anything but last night as I was watching The.Biggest.Loser I saw this commercial that almost made me cry. AT&T doesn't have good service in my area but just for a moment it made me want a phone that helped find lost puppies!


Is there something that you have been sucked into before because of the advertising?

Quiet Moments

The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 2 Kings 19:11 & 12

This has to be one of my favorite stories. I remember one fall morning praying pleading before God for one of my friends who had been trying to get pregnant and was facing her 3rd pregnancy with no baby to bring home. It was the weekend and she was bleeding and "knew" it was a miscarriage. I opened my Bible directly to this story and started reading. Tears welling up inside as God pointed out the similarities between Elijah's story & my friends. So clearly I remember God impressing upon my heart..."in the quietness of her pain is when I will show her how big I (God)really am." He did just that Monday morning when she finally went in to the Dr. to find out if she was going to have to have a D&C instead of seeing an empty ultrasound screen she saw the flickering heartbeat of her baby girl.

This is the devotional today I received from Sarah's Laughter that I wanted to share with you.

One of the heartbreaking aspects of infertility is the deafening silence of our homes. Others may complain of being awakened in the night by the sounds of a baby’s crying, but you could imagine no more beautiful symphony. You long for the day when a child’s laughter peals through the halls of your home and you have to remind playing children to use “inside voices”. The quietness of a childless home is so very loud.

What do you do in those quiet times? Those times when your spouse is not home, the television is not on, and the phone doesn’t ring? You have fought your infertility as hard as you can for so many months and it seems that nothing is working. You’ve tried every remedy you’ve heard about, but it’s not getting you anywhere. You’re still not pregnant. You’ve watched your diet, you’ve taken vitamins and eaten the right foods, you’ve tried every treatment that every doctor has suggested. You’ve followed every suggestion you’ve been given and now you’re just tired. Sometimes you just want to run away and quit. You just wish God would speak to you in this big, booming voice and reveal to you all that you need to know, but the big, booming voice hasn’t appeared. May I suggest to you that you may feel much like the prophet Elijah may have felt one day at Horeb?

Elijah has been through quite an adrenaline filled battle of his own! He has faced down hundreds of prophets of Baal, and challenged them and their false god to a stand-off. Elijah mocked them, scorned them, even accused their god of being asleep or on vacation before praying to our one true and living God and showcasing the glory of God before hundreds of people! After calling fire down from heaven and proving that God was God and Baal was not, Elijah seized and killed all the false prophets right then and there! There was nothing half-way about Elijah! He loved God with amazing zeal, and proved it with his life. But now he was tired. He had given his all in trying to show people that God really was who He said He was, and now there were those who wanted to take his life. Elijah was afraid and hiding. The same guy who just days before was mocking hundreds of false prophets to their faces was now in hiding, asking God to end his life before someone else killed him. The very same God he had so adamantly represented only days before was about to intervene in his life in a powerful-but unexpected way.

God told Elijah to stand on the mountain and what a sight he must have seen! Scripture says “a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord;” The power and presence of the Lord was so mighty that the mountains were literally breaking in pieces before Him! But notice this...but the Lord was not in the wind. I probably would have thought God was in the wind, but no! He wasn’t in the power of the wind!

What happened next? An earthquake shook the very ground Elijah stood on! If you’re from California, perhaps you understand the power it takes to shake the earth itself, but look what Scripture tells us: “but the Lord was not in the earthquake”. Wind strong enough to tear apart mountains, earthquakes? What’s next? Fire! Elijah must have thought he was having a really bad day, especially since Scripture tells us the Lord was not in the fire! Where was God in the midst of all this chaos?

We finally see where God was in 1 Kings 19:12: and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. Elijah finally heard the voice of God in a gentle breeze. Not in a powerful wind or a huge earthquake, but a quiet breeze. In the stillness of the easy breeze that blew across his face, the voice of God came to Elijah and changed him. God talked to Elijah and told him what to do. Elijah’s life was changed because he heard God in the stillness of a quiet moment.

In those still, quiet moments, when it’s just you and God, listen for His voice. You’ve gone through a difficult round of treatment or a hard month when you thought you had finally conceived, only to get another negative test. Now you’re sitting in the silence in your living room and it’s down to you and God. Listen for His voice in this silence. Listen for His voice in the silent moments of your life. Step away from the chaos of infertility, even if only for a few hours, and focus on God. Listen for His voice in the stillness, in the quietness. Take advantage of the silence, even if the silence hurts right now. Tell Him how it hurts and listen for His voice. Perhaps like Elijah, you’ll find Him in the stillness of a gentle blowing.

It's always exciting to see how BIG our God can be if we are just still in His presence.

Last Days

Today is the LAST day of Summer! Can not believe that this summer is already over. It's crazy how fast the time flies by around here. Not sure if it is the fact that I am in the ministry or if it is because we live in Ohio and winter seems to last AT LEAST 6 months around here.

Going into this summer I knew that God was going to be moving me and shaping me...asking me to step outside of what I was use to and into more of what He has called me to. As if I haven't enough already. I wanted to be a mom & a teacher growing up. Some may look at my life and say I have accomplished anything of what I wanted to do. That would be me some days. There was no desire to me FULL time in the ministry. But God's plans always seem to be so much bigger than mine. Not sure why that fact still amazes me.

Around here summer always starts off with camps. What that meant for me personally was that I was going off of fertility meds. For the safety of the children there was no need to have emotional mood swings if I had no chance of seeing my husband. Shawn was so ready for a break as well.

Anyways back to camps...Jr/Sr High camps were AWESOME! Our Youth Pastor is phenomenal at ushering in God's presence in such a real and tangible way. The kids GOT IT! It was awesome to see God moving and changing their hearts each day during each service. Incredible to watch God's hand at work healing hurts of this fatherless generation. Elementary camp was equally as cool! How amazing it is to be part of a leadership team that is part of teaching these babies in Christ how to worship. To just soak in God's presence. How refreshing...Not to mention it was so much fun to watch several of our youth get their faces made in to pudding pies!

Came home from camp on a Wednesday night prior to the annual 4th of July party at my house and went right back in to finalizing VBS for 150 kids. We actually met our goal this year. We had 180 registered with an average of 145 each evening. My FAVORITE part about VBS is the fact that not only did we preach the gospel to 180 kids but we involved over 80 volunteers each evening! WOW! I LOVE IT WHEN THE CHURCH FAMILY allows God to show up and show off in them!

The rest of July & August was full of regrouping, recouping, restructuring, Revolve Tour with our preteen & teen girls. But also wondering where the summer went. Life is slowly getting back to normal...routine...I feel as if so much has happened on the spiritual front of things by personally and for our church body as a whole. Feeling things shifting and moving. Wondering what God has in store for us next.

Every event this summer was an extraordinary event. God showed up and showed off countless times. As tiring as the summer was at times it was twice as rewarding and I believe that we will be reaping the benefits as we continue to sow into what God has called us to do as long as we allow God to heal our wounds of past hurts and past pains of un met expectations.

All I know is as I step foot into fall I do not want another ordinary season. I come expecting for God to immeasurably more than I can hope for or even imagine...

I woke up singing this song and as I read the words again it is my hearts cry & will be my daily prayer.


Our beloved Father, please come down and meet us
We are waiting for Your touch
Open up the heavens, shower down your presence
We respond to Your great love

We won’t be satisfied with anything ordinary,
We won’t be satisfied at all

Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don’t want blessings, We want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don’t want anything but You

Our beloved Jesus, we just wanna see You
In the glory of Your light.
Earthly things don’t matter, They just fade and shatter
When we’re touched by love divine.

We won’t be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won’t be satisfied at all

Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don’t want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don’t want anything but You

Here we go, let’s go to the throne
The place that we belong, right into His arms

We won’t be satisfied with anything ordinary,
We won’t be satisfied at all.

BTCS

Did you know that it takes an average of 13 times of asking someone to come to church with you before they will?

This Sunday is BACK TO CHURCH SUNDAY!!! Don't forget to GO to church and take someone who hasn't been in a while with you!

I am believing that this Sunday will be a life changing Sunday for millions of people around our country. And Praying your church's seat are filled and running over as I am believeing for MY CHURCH!!

Found this video that describes my church!


DON'T STOP ASKING!!!
You never know which time will change their mind.

The Stool

As I start my morning I was just reminded of a video that our pastor showed a few months ago that I wanted to share with you.



At times I wonder why it is so hard to stay off the stool when you know that is where you are suppose to be?

THE Day...

Just can't believe that today is already September 1st!!! WOW!! Where has this year gone??

September 1st holds a lot of value around our house.

Not only is it 114 days till Christmas but it is also

THE day that Shawn & I met.

Hard to believe 14 years ago one night change my life...

Together for 14 years has changed both of us tremendously but

There is no one else I'd rather live this journey with!

Shawn...I love you!

Baby Weight

I went to the gym yesterday! :)

Well last Friday I finally made a decision. I have been holding back for years because of the "What If's". Told not to by friends and some doctors but Friday was the day I choose what to do for myself.

I am tired of not having a baby. I am even more tired of being over weight and not having a baby. Always thought you were suppose to carry around baby weight AFTER you had the baby...Not for me. I have been carrying around the (non) Baby Weight for over 10 years now. From emotional eating to gaining weight because of the meds I have been taking. Personally I am done with it!

I have always thought I was over weight but when I look back at pictures I wonder what a distorted view I must have had of myself. The weight I am now is not the most I have ever weighed but close to it. My goal is to lose 50 lbs by the beginning of December...17 weeks...3 lbs a week. Three pounds a week on the biggest looser would be a disgrace but 3 lbs a week for me with be a VICTORY!!!

On Friday I signed up for a gym membership. I know that is the only way that I will lose weight. Some may be able to do it by just dieting, but I know my body & I need more. I need the exercise. The good news about my membership is it is less than a dollar a day & there is no contract. So WHEN i do get pregnant if there is any complications where I can't work out I will be able to cancel my membership without any penalty.

So as a reward to myself for becoming healthier...I am booking a condo on Madeira Beach for a week next summer. The date we are looking at is more than a year away but I can't wait. I NEED a real vacation! Haven't had one in a while and am looking SO forward to planting my skinny white butt in the sand!

All of that to say WORK OUT DAY 1: Success!!

Treading Water

The best I can...This summer has been a complete rollar coaster of events.

-The excitement of getting a new puppy the beginning of June.
-The sadness of not being pregnant for our 12th wedding anniversary.
-The excitement of Jr/Sr high camp & then Cadet camp.
-The frustration of coming back to reality of Shawn NOT doing what he said while I was out at camp for two week.
-The saddness in the death of my tomato plants.
-The AWESOMENESS of SonRock Kids Camp VBS!
-The week after VBS finding out that 7 people we pregnant in 7 days.
-Wonderful news that one of my BEST friends (from VA) has found an AWESOME man and the fact that his family lives 30 mins away from me & they were coming for a visit!!!
-Looking forward to vacation and then coming back realizing it was the second worst vacation ever. (for many reasons that I won't go into right now).

Now it's back to reality...I have been off colmid for two CRAZY cycles...still not pregnant. One on my closest friends is due with her 3rd in Nov (I think it will be October). 7 people around me will be having babies this spring.

With FALL staring me in the face I sit here & wonder do I go back to the doctor and start this process of having a baby all over again? Do I take a hint and just give up? or Do we look into adoption?

As I sit here feeling like I am treading water I am ever so great full for friends...My friend Sarah brought me some pictures to go in the "nursery" So as I go in the "nursery" each day I look on the wall and am reminded of

Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest...IF we do not give up!"

2 Chronicles 15:7 "But as for you, be strong and DO NOT give up for your work will be rewarded..."

Jeremiah 32:27 "See, I am the Lord the God of all flesh; is anything too hard for me?"

So I ask you...What is impossible for God?

...Nothing...

Life is Like a Batch of Cookies...

What do all these things have in common???

flour
baking soda
salt
butter
sugar…white & brown
vanilla extract
eggs
chocolate chips

LIFE

I was watching my friends 2 little girls this weekend while they went out of town for a wedding. They were so much fun. They are 4 & 2 and are expecting a baby sister this fall. Their daddy is going to have his has full when it comes to those teen age years.

They begged me to make a batch of cookies on Saturday night so we did. As we were reading the directions carefully (I am a cook NOT a baker...toooooo many exacts) I let them taste each ingredients as it went in to the bowl. God chose to use something as their reactions to speak to me about where I was in life right now.

Flour was first...the 4 year old said "it doesn't have a taste...it's dry"It got me thinking of how many times in life I feel like I am in such a dry place. Wondering if I am ever going to be refreshed again. Or maybe in a place that is just BLAH.

Baking Soda & Salt...the 4 year old turned up her nose at the baking soda and insisted that salt DOES NOT go in the cookies that her mom makes. Sometimes we don't see the need for events or things that happen in our life but without them our food would be tasteless.

BUTTER!! The 2 year old thought it was the best thing that I let her try butter without bread. The 4 year old smashed it between her finger and said it was smooth and slimy. She also said that butter only taste good with bread not by it's self. What/Who would I be without my husband. He is the one that God has paired me with. He is my strength & I am his helpmate. without him I am just "smooth & slimy".

SUGAR both brown & white. They both LOVED the sugar. They noticed the difference in color, texture & taste. The funny thing is they didn't want to move on from the sugar. They wanted to stay right there and keep eating the sugar. I don't know about you but sometimes I am like that too. When I am in the sweet spot in life I don't want ANYTHING to change around me. I just want to stay there forever but if I don't move on my life won't be complete.

Vanilla Extract...smells good but by it's self the girls found out it doesn't exactly taste like it smells. The four year old also asked why it came in such a small bottle & why did we only add a "little tiny bit"? Sometimes in life things look good on the outside & if you don't mix them with the correct ingredients or if you allow too much of it in it will over take God's goodness and His plans for you.

Eggs...KIDS + EGGS = MESSY. They loved it! Really who in their right mind allows a TWO year old crack their own egg??? Just got me thinking as the egg went all over the place sometimes when God is trying to break us it gets a little messy. Sometimes when life is so over whelming we need to stop and remember one of God's many promises to us. "Come to me, all you who are weary & burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30. Verse 30 came to me right as I was trying to catch the 1/2 broken egg flying all over the table. LOL!

Chocolate Chips...Yup you guessed it the loved those too. Funny thing is we had two different sizes...chunks and mini chips. They reminded me of the sweet goodness of God's truths that we need on a daily basis. Sometimes the nuggets He gives us throughout the day a CHUNKY and not easily missed but other days they are like the mini chips that sometimes you have to search out during you day but they are ALWAYS there.

As we were mixing it together we added the dry ingredients slowly allowing them to each use the hand mixer and shake a little dry stuff in with the wet the two year old bumped the dry bowl and it spilled some. I scooped what I could back in to the bowl and kept mixing until it was ready to scoop. Everything looked great but when the batter started to bake I noticed something...the cookies were spreading out like thin pancakes. I took the dough out and started really looking at it trying to figure out what I missed. Then it hit me...after cleaning up the mess of the spill I forgot to finish adding the dry ingredients. While it may have appeared as if the dough was complete it wasn't there was still more to add. I finished mixing everything & the rest of the batches turned out perfect!

I love it when God speaks so clearly that there is NO mistaking it was HIM.

Forgive me Father when there are ingredients that You give me that I see no use for or don't think I need it or don't want it. I thank & praise You Father for all the ingredients in my life.

My Morning...

Couldn't wait for this weekend. My friend Sarah came for a visit and brought her new wonderfully awesome boyfriend Andrew. I am so glad I got to spend sometime with both of them. Shawn had a company picnic that he had to go to and I stayed home with one of my friends two girls that I had this weekend so they could go to an out of town wedding. BOY was my morning fun...

As Sarah & Andrew came in the girls (ages 2&4) woke up. I brought them out to the kitchen table so Harley wouldn't jump on them and give them a little time to wake up. So I go back to finishing up breakfast. I notice that the 4 year old is sitting with her legs wide open and I tell her to sit like a lady and close her legs. Well I went to move her back and I see POOP smear across the table. The smart person that I am I say, "What is that??" The aroma quickly fills the air and I quickly grab her and take her to the tub. Sarah, thankfully, jumps up and starts cleaning the table, while Andrew was sitting there I KNOW thinking, "THE KID JUST POOPED ON THE TABLE and I am suppose to EAT HERE?????????"

We get everyone & thing cleaned up and we finally sit down for breakfast. I made eggs with sausage, fresh cantaloupe & bacon. I was sitting next to the 2 year old and she was pounding the bacon. She had 3 pieces and wanted a 4th but I thought it would be a great idea for her to eat a little egg first. I have made her eggs in the past and she has loved them...well apparently this time she didn't like the texture of the eggs and sausage mixed together and she throw up everything that she had eaten this morning. Thankfully most was covered by my napkin and all landed in the plate. I got up and cleaned her up and fixed her a bowl of Life cereal.

Sarah looked up at Andrew and said..."How many kids did you say you wanted again?"

Thankfully Sarah & Andrew STAYED till about 2. We all swam and thankfully lunch was pretty uneventful.

PS...Sarah you have quite a catch on your hands...I love him! I am so excited for you! :)

Swim Time

Hoping everyone out there had a fabulous Fourth of July and that you have a great rest of July as well. As for us...our pool is open so we had somewhere around 30 people at our house for the fourth. More food than we could possibly eat. The laughs and great memories were overflowing as well. We had such a great time!

Thankfully our swim time wasn't anything like the swim time at camp...take a look!


Yes that is our Youth Pastor & another one of our youth leaders. God has richly blessed us with an amazing Youth Pastor & leadership team. Please join with me in praying protection over their lives, their families, peace in their minds bodies & souls. Pray for great ideas to continue to come forth to reach this generation of leaders!

More camp memories to come...

Summer Camp

Just in my office for a few but I wanted to jot down a few things before I head back out again. Finished up with probably the BEST Jr/Sr High camp EVER!!! I only have one word to describe it right now AMAZING. I can't wait to sit down and be able to blog about it because I don't want to ever forget how truly amazing it was. Here is just one picture of how much fun these kids had.

I have a little work I need to finish up for this week and then I am back off to Elementary Camp that started this week. Praying all who read this blog are having a blessed summer.

Choices...

Ahhhh it's Friday! My day off...It feels like the first day I've had off in FOREVER! It's just that the days are so jammed full these days it is nice to be able to sit and enjoy.

Summer time has to be hands down my busiest season. Which I kind of don't like because that's when everyone wants to hang out & be outside but I'm so crazy busy its hard to enjoy it. We have 2 camps & VBS coming up. So we have a planning meetings, fund raisers, parent meeting, brainstorming meetings. All kinds of stuff. Crazy!

Saw this video on another blog that I love to read. I walked around singing this for the rest of the day. I am in such a busy season right now working with so many people things can sometimes be unsettling. Stepping out in leadership can be difficult at times. Having to put my faith in God that He has placed the right people in front of me at the right times and that He has given me the wisdom to read their gifts & abilities correctly to place them in a spot where they will thrive yet grow. But even when/if they fail, because EVERYONE is human, I can still hold my head up and say no matter what God I will bless your name.

There are so many other areas in my life that I let the eroding waters of sin in my heart at times. Whether it is if we will ever have a baby, or if it is a negative spirit towards my husband, or leadership in the church. All of those things can be stopped by just one thing...Worshiping God. The maker, creator, perfecter of my faith! Blessed be YOUR name! Today (and everyday hopefully) I pray that my heart will choose to say BLESSED BE YOUR NAME!

Describe Him

The past week has been full of tremendous blessing for us. I am tired and crazy busy @work so I can't post all about it now. This past Sunday we received another confirmation that God has promised us a child and he is coming and that we need to stand firm on the promises that God has given us. I will post on that more later as well as some more beautiful puppy pictures! Harley is a cutie even if I do say so myself! But for now...

Saw this today and wanted to share it. When I saw this I started wondering...

How do you describe God?

Our 1st Harley!

It has been a busy week this week. Not only at work, with VBS & camps coming up but with our personal life. We've had lots of exciting changes come about.

After waiting 12 years to FINALLY get something new...THANKFUL and BLESSED for what we have...we were able to get a new living room couch, chair & ottoman. SO EXCITED!!! It smells so good in our house! I LOVE IT!!!

The house we live in now we put all our old living room stuff down stairs in the basement in hopes that we would get sometime new for upstairs. We finally did! I have found many things that I liked but not matching BOTH criteria...price & quality. Well this Memorial Day weekend...we got it! This isn't our living room but I had to show you a picture! I just save the picture from the store and posted it. I can't see to find my camera right now.

Our other new addition this week was our 1st Harley! Not a two wheeled on but a four legged one. We brought Harley home last night. She did fairly well for her 1st night at her new home. After an early morning jaunt out to pee everyone is now sound asleep back in bed except me. Yes you read that right. One husband & 2 labs in bed with me...MAN do I need a King size bed or WHAT??!!

Thank you Lord for all the blessings bestowed on us this week! Thank your for your endless love and grace. Help us to continue to grow and be good stewards of the blessings you have given us.

I guess I should try to catch some shut eye too before her breakfast bell rings. Here is a cute picture I took of her last night. Isn't she CUTE???

Exactally How Big Is Immeasurably?

Ephesians 3:20...

It seems like everywhere I turn lately it's there. I'll open my Bible and it's there...I'll read different devotionals and it's there...

This verse has been running through my head over and over again day & night. Literally I have woke up in the middle of the night thinking of it. In Psalms 1:2 it says But his delight is in the law of the Lord & on his law he meditates day & night. I didn't realize He was going to make me actually meditate day and night on Ephesians 3:20! :)

Websters Dictionary defines immeasurably as: incapable of being measured ; indefinitely extensive. WOW! That's pretty big. Pretty much incomprehensible.


Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us… Ephesians 3:20 NIV

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us… Ephesians 3:20 The Message

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think… Ephesians 3:20 New Living Translation

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us…Ephesians 3:20 American Standard Version

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us… Ephesians 3:20 Today's New International Version

All this makes me wonder what God is up to. I know that one day (hopefully in the near future) I will look back and have an AH-HA moment and say "I understand now!"

Crazy to think that... In me There is strength to move a mountain In me There is faith to walk on water In me If I just believe The Way and the Truth and the Life is in me. (In Me Rebecca St. James)

What do you see?

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see a masterpiece? It's hard to do sometimes. To see youself the way God sees you. There is so much more I could say but I don't say it like the Skit Guys. I love them!



Mirror Mirror on the wall I'M God's Masterpiece after all!

My Sister

I LOVE MY SISTER!

I received a present in the mail today from my sister. Which if you know her that is not uncommon. She is one of the most giving people that I know. Usually it is something random that I had mentioned on the phone. Or sometimes it is a ton of makeup that she didn't like from the free samples. Sometimes, it's hair crack!! (Talk about that another day)One time it was a CHI!! So excited! I could straighten my hair.

Today when I opened my package I cried. I pulled out the sweetest card.

It said, "Sister, Just thinking of all the ways my world is a better place because you're my sister. Happy (belated) Mother's Day!" Then she wrote; Dear Kara, Who have always been a Mother, You just haven't been sent your babies yet."

And my brother in law wrote, "Your Mom needs a normal grand kid. So let's speed up the action and spit one out. Love Uncle to be DW"

Inside was a key that said Believe, 64 inspirational quotes, and an digital EPT test.

I love it when God uses people to wrap His arms around you...

Coming Soon!

We went last night and picked out our new addition to our family! Her name will be Harley or Bailey. We are going to wait to get her home before we choose a name. She is very uniquely marked. Light yellow all over expect for her back feet and the tips of her ears. She has blue eyes right now. Hopefully they will stay!

We should be bringing her home the beginning of the 2nd week in June. Just in time for me to go to camp for two weeks, VBS, then a conference! Shawn has his work cut out for him...but he is the one that keeps insisting.

Here is a picture from last visit with her.

Sorry I haven't really learned how to line up all the picture right...all the time.

Memorial Day

Had a BLAST this Memorial Day! The pool is open...the weather was great but we packed up and headed to North Carolina to visit friends.

We traveled with our Ohio friends The Johnson's to North Carolina. Something we have never done before was traveling that far with a two year old. I have to say...Company was awesome! I haven't laughed that hard or that much in FOREVER!!! Travels were safe! Church was UNBELIEVEABLE!

Shawn & Troy were nice enough to allow us to completely crash at their house! Man do we miss them! We always love seeing them. They are the type of friends that you wish you could take them with you every where you move.

We arrived there about 10 on Friday night then got up and went to Smithfield the next day for a little shopping. Came home and cooked out and went swimming. You know you can do that in NC. The water is warmer than 50 degrees.

Sunday was church day. It was like walking in to a huge family reunion! We had a blast! Pastor's sermon was right on and P&W was so refreshing. We miss our NC family so much it hurts every time we leave. We even were able to meet with Pastor Richard for coffee on Monday. It was nice to catch up with him.

I leave you with my favorite picture from he weekend...I have more and even made them into a slide show but I can't get it to post.

Just imagine driving down the road and reading a sign that says...

PORN BURNS...STAY COOL!

That Time of Year...Already???

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

HOLY COW!!! Can you believe that Vacation Bible School is only 8 weeks away! WOW!!! How did it get here so quickly! I am so excited! Summer has ALWAYS been my favorite time of year ever since I was little. Now... it no longer means a little R&R...resting and relaxing and recuperating...It now means 2 weeks of Camp 1 week of Vacation Bible School and weeks upon weeks of P&P... PRAYER &PREPARATION! And this year we are not only taking kids to camp we are theme for Vacation Bible School is CAMP! So even the preschoolers will get to experience some form of camp! It is going to be so much fun!!!!!

This is where YOU come in to play!

Will you commit to praying for our VBS & Camps!

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8

Camp & VBS Preparation:
• Order and structure in preparing curriculum and classrooms
• Favor in receiving supplies and donations
• Responsible, Spirit-filled adults to volunteer

Prepare volunteers:
• To minister to the children and their families
• To be patient, to show kindness and love, to use wisdom
• To cooperate and to be courteous to church staff, VBS & Camp Directors, and other volunteers

Prepare the VBS & Camp children:
• To be excited about participating
• To be good listeners and to be respectful
• To learn their memory verses
• To receive Christ as their Savior
• To take the love of Jesus home to their families

Prepare parents and guardians:
• To send their children to our fun filled summer events
• To participate in their children’s experience.
• To be punctual in dropping off and picking up their children.
• To attend all the final programs
• To witness and experience the love of Christ

Summer Events Conclusion:
• Salvation of children and their families
• Families to find a home church
• Growth in families’ relationships with Christ and each other
• Rest for all church staff and volunteers

One think I love about blogs is that no matter where you live...no matter what church you attend...if we are willing to allow God to use us we can lift each others needs and desires up in prayer. For without prayers...For without remaining in HIM...we are nothing...No fruit will come of our labors.

Weekend Events

Last Thursday I realized I was on day 28 and if I didn't get into the Dr today than I was going to have to wait till next Thursday which may be too late to get my WONDERFUL colmid. So I called and made and appointment.

Day 28 no spotting and temperature was still up! The Dr. even seems to be optimistic. I was attempting not to let my self get too excited. He told me not to take a test until day 12 DPO. That would be Friday...I could wait one day. I figured I'll wait...for some reason my body likes to start on Friday's. Likes to play with my weekend like that! So I made a deal with my self if my temperature was still up on Saturday morning (day 30) than I would take a test. I woke up at freaking 5AM on Saturday took my temperature and sure enough it was still at 98.6. Laid in bed until my bladder was going to bust got up and took the test and went back to bed.

I tried to talk my self in to actually going back to sleep. If your pregnant you will still be pregnant in 3 more hours. If your not nothing is going to change there either. I laid there for what I thought was at least an hour of two (more like 30 mins) got up and went and checked the test and it was negative again...I KNEW I wasn't going back to sleep then so I got up and took Sadie on an almost 2 hour walk. It was a beautiful Saturday morning. I am really beginning to enjoy my walks with Sadie. She is such a good dog.

Saturday went well. We opened the pool, which at this point in time is a beautiful greenish color. Then we went across the street to a 2 year old BD party where I do believe pregnant women came from far and wide just to be there! Everyone talking about when they are going to start trying again.

Then Sunday, where my job as a Children's Pastor is difficult emotionally for me at times. Helping parents from all walks of life and stages of life is hard when once again I'm not sure if my day will come to hold my own. This Sunday I had three different people come up to me for different reasons 3 different people come up to me... The first saying I was praying for you this week...it's your month your next! While yet another saying I think my 16 year old son may have gotten his girlfriend pregnant...Yet still another said Your just not trying hard enough to have a baby...must not be doing something right.

Needless to say Sunday was a difficult day, but with God's strength and grace I was able to make it through. But after working a 12 hour day on the way home I turned off the radio and allowed my self to cry. My wonderful husband had cleaned the kitchen just so when I got home there was no excuse for me not to climb into bed and cuddle with him! That felt like God hugging me. God knew exactly what I needed and who I needed it from most. For anyone who knows my husband knows that he is not a cuddler and thankfully my love language is not physical touch.

Then to start my week off JUST perfectly my friend Sarah post this on her facebook...it is TOOO funny NOT to share. I wonder if this is what it will be like when Shawn & I have our baby!

God of Wonders!

For by Christ all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Christ and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things

hold together. Colossians 1:16&17

I heard an interesting message this morning that I wanted to share. There have been times throughout my entire life when I wonder HOW I am going to make it through something. How am I going to survive or get on the other side of something where I dont' think of it day in and day out...to move on and not let the negative over come the positive. I learned this morning that it's Laminin that actually holds me together. Watch this and you will see what I mean.

Don't forget to mute the side bar music before you play.

Thank you Father for creating every single miraculous detail of our being to worship and honor YOU! Thank you for allowing the cross to hold me together physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Thank you that YOU alone are God, My King, My Daddy...

No Rain...Yet

Came to the realization the other day that it wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. Yes I knew that for sometime but it really hit me as we finished the "baby's room" the other day...Mother's Day...

This home improvement project has been one of the most emotional projects that I have ever done. This past New Year's Shawn told me he felt like we needed to begin preparing the baby's room. I couldn't believe how hard it was for me to agree to begin this project. Thankfully we have a few friends that have been extremely persistent about encouraging us with this undertaking.

When we moved into this house a few years ago this was the 1st thing that I wanted to change. Then I realized it was going to have to go on the back burner because it involved much more time than we had.

I apologize in advance if this offends anybody...but this is MY blog and if you have a problem with it...don't read it! It was PINK FLOWER WALLPAPER!! WHAT were they thinking??? Then after we FINALLY got all the wall paper down I realized something...our house had at one point in time our house had been invested with SMURFS!!! Ridiculous blue! To be honest I liked the blue better than the freaking pink flowers!

The room is finally done...it went from Smurf infested to a beautiful "Haystack" color above the chair rail and "Mountain Ridge" below the chair rail. In Crayola colors that is a light yellow & a beautiful brown.

One of our friends gave us a crib before Eli was born and they wanted us to keep it for our baby. When "the kids" moved back home with their mother the crib stayed with us and has been in the basement ever since. This weekend, as we finished the room, the last piece of furniture that went in was the crib.
You can see the ipod in the crib...We have Praise & Worship music playing 24/7. Hopefully I don't have to wait till I'm 600 years old for MY rain to come! :)

As I come to the end of my 2 week wait, I'm prayerfully hopeful that this crib will be filled with in the next year. I ask that God will give me the emotional strength to enter that room each day to pray for our child.

Do you remember my New Year's Resolution?? That's how I felt this weekend...a little crazy!

You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. Psalm 77:14

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20&21

God YOU are my rock. God YOU are my refuge. God YOU are my strength. Father please hide me when the pressures of life overwhelm my heart. When my heart is weighed down with the burdens of life come my way and the answers aren't always easy to see, I cry out to you Lord MY rock, your very present help in time of trouble, You are the author and perfecter of my faith.

It's HOT in here!

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Daniel 3:17-18

I've been hot before but never this hot! This past week God has laid on my heart many different ways to read up on Daniel's three buddies...You know Shady Mady and Bennie? It continues to amaze me that all three had the faith to stand up and say "I don't know what God is doing BUT I know HE has my best interest at heart."

Try to imagine standing there looking into your own fiery pit and having someone say to you "IF you don't do what I say you will be thrown in there." Can you feel the heat? I can. There are so many times in my life when I can feel the heat of the fire or hear the roar of the lions. I feel it sometimes when I am looking at my own issues of trust. Whether it's IF, my husband, or my job...wondering "God do you REALLY know what you are doing?"

Am I REALLY ready to jump in to the blazing furnace with both feet? or am I hanging on to the edge with both hands saying, "Let me think about this!"

My desire is to be like Daniel & his friends...Whether it be a lion's den or a fire pit. God I KNOW I am in your hands. In saying that this is NOT an invitation for evil to throw Lions or Fiery Pits at me it is a declaration of knowing that even if God doesn't change my circumstances I serve a God who is MIGHT TO SAVE!!!

What is something that you have had to stand on the edge of the blazing fire pit and feel the heat from and just trust God with?

LOUD Music!

Have you ever had one of those days when you can feel the JUNK of life moving in on you? Ever had a time when you had to CHOOSE to trust God like you NEVER have before? or He is asking you to OBEY him like he never has before? I had that feeling this morning. Want to know what I did? I turned the music up as loud as it could go in my car and PRAISED Him all the way to work. Singing so loud that the people in the car next to me on the interstate probably heard me! Wonder if He sends extra angles down to guide my car when I start doing that. Sometimes I can feel a exhale around me when I put the car in park at my work!

What do you do when you feel life's JUNK moving in on you?

Needing to Soak

I need to soak...


not because I have been painting the same room for the past 2 weeks and have paint all over me...although I did...not because I have been working out in the yard pulling weeds and cutting down bushes trying to get the yard ready for spring/summer...although I did...not because I have taken Sadie on a long walk in the woods by our house, which is one of my all time favorite things to do...although I have.

I need to soak in God's presence...Doing what I do for a living sometimes its hard to take time to find the presence of God. I know sounds weird huh?? Working at a church and find it hard to find God? It certainly isn't for a lack of SEEING God. WOW!! I have the opportunity to see God work on a daily basis just because I believe He is still working and moving in this world today! My problem is that there are times when I am too busy serving and have no time to find God's presence the way that I am use to doing. For me...that is one of the BIGGEST things that God showed me in Rocky Mount...I had access to HIM. One of the biggest ways was through praise and worship.


Sometimes I feel like a frantic child in the middle of a store who can't find their Daddy and the business of the store keeps going on around and no one is seeing my panic. Ever had one of those dreams where you can yell but needed too? That would be how this child must feel. Or there are other times when I feel like I am too hurt or wounded to even turn around to lift my arms up to Him. It's like I don't understand the pain...all I know is that I'm lost and hurt.


I know my life's story has not been totally revealed yet? All I see right now is that I don't have have my heart has desired since the time I was a child. Sometimes it's hard to remember, I can't see the entire description of my life yet! There’s simply not enough room in my heart or mind to contain all that MY Father has planned for me. I pray that one day, as my Father chooses to show me His plan for my life in His perfect timing, the story will make sense. Until then I am comforted by the fact that I can soak in His presence...


"I wanna sit at your feet drink from the cup in your hand. Lay back against you and breath, here your heart beat This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand. I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming" Kari Jobe, The More I seek You.

Thankful...

Last evening I received this email from my brother who lives in Costa Rica. It read...

We were going to Playa Ventannas and passed the entrance, so I went to the next commercial center turned around and came back. I went to turn left, to enter the beach and some guy behind me went to pass and clipped the back end of our car, spun us around and we rolled the car three times. Its a miracle we walked away with only some bumps, bruises and scratches. We have a rental for now and the car was taken to San Isidro to the body shop. In the end, its only a car and we are OK. Hope to see everyone soon. -KC

A few things that he doesn't state in the email is...The driver's side roof collapsed all the away to the head rest. Keith was driving but not wearing his seat belt. When the car finished rolling he was standing where the driver's side window should have been. I am thinking in this case it was probably good Keith didn't have his seat belt on. He would have been strapped in and unable to move to land on his feet and possibly would have been crushed. Becky, who was wearing her seat belt, walked away with a scratch and a bruised elbow. Kian was with Becky's parents so he was safe. He now believes that God has a purpose for his life and he better live up to it. As he say...In the end its only a car...

Thank you Father for saving my big brother. I don't want to imagine life with out him right now. Here are a few pictures of his truck.

Grace & Love

I was just speaking of God's grace this morning and how amazing it is to be loved so unconditionally.

God has shown me a great deal throughout that past couple days of how difficult it is for us to extend that kind of love and grace to each other. Although that is exactly what we are called to do. I as a wife, daughter, sister, friend, am called to be a face to God's love and grace to those whom He places in my path.

I don't do it effectively enough at times but am constantly striving to understand HIS love and grace so I can be more like Him!

*before playing this video please mute the side bar music*


Watch the video again...and ask God to show you...

What sign would I be holding?

"Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord." Hebrews 1:2

FINALLY!!!

GOD IS GOOD!!! You will never believe it! It has finally happened!!! I can't wait to share this news with you!

I GET TO WEAR SHORTS THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!

Friday: partly cloudy. Much warmer with highs around 80. South winds 15 to 20mph.
Friday Night: partly cloudy. Not as cool with lows in the upper 50s.
Saturday: mostly sunny. Highs in the lower 80s. Southwest winds 15 to 20 mph.
Saturday Night: mostly clear. Lows in the mid 50s.
Sunday: mostly sunny in the morning, then becoming partly cloudy. Highs in the upper 70s.

DID YOU SEE THAT????? We FINALLY after 7 LONG COLD CLOUDY months will be able to wear shorts, open the windows, grill!!!! We'll be opening the pool and putting out the diving board soon!!! So come on over to GREAT North East Ohio for a swim!



I have to say Ohio summers are the best! It's coming I know it! I see God's promises everywhere I look!!!
















All this excitement makes me wonder...
What's your favorite season where you live?

Faith NOW

Did you realize that the word FAITH is used 256 in the Bible. That's not including the ones that talk about about being faithful or faithfulness. All combined there are 422. I never knew that.

This week God has really been speaking to me about faith and hope every where I turn. From the message on Sunday to a few blogs that I read. He has continued to till away at that soil in my heart. As Christians Faith is something that we stand firm on. Right? Why is it that sometimes what seems so simple is so hard to do. That NO MATTER what's happening or where I am I stand firm in my Faith in you God. Because YOU, the King of Kings have promised me, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 He has clearly defined to us what FAITH is. My favorite example to use with kids when they start questioning God is to take them outside and have them feel the wind on their face. The conversation usually goes something like this...

"Did you feel that?"

"yeah I felt it"

"What was it?"

usually with a crazy look "it was the WIND Ms. Kara"

"I didn't see any wind? Are you SURE it was the wind? Wind can't exist...I can't see it?"

"i know it is there because I felt it"

"EXACTLY! We may not always be able to hear God but we can feel God. Does the wind not exist because we can't see it? NO we felt it and know it exists."

To a child all they need is to know that things exist with out seeing and they believe! If we could all enter in with such childlike faith. There are so many things that we are believing in faith and hoping for and earnestly seeking God for. There are times when He is quite...Does He not exist because He doesn't answer when we ask? No that's not the case.

One day when I look at God face to face I hope He doesn't say, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?..." Matthew 8:26 Instead when I look Him and see my reflection in His eyes hearts desire is that He will say"...Well done, good and faithful servant!..." Matthew 25:21

What I have (re)learned this week is that what God has in store for us could be so much different and better than what we could have ever hoped for or dreamed of. But no matter what my faith, my hope, my praise MUST without a doubt stand firm in HIM!

Yesterday I read...“Hope is hearing the music of the future; faith is dancing to it today,” ~ William Frey.

When is it hardest for you to stand firm on your faith?

Spring has Sprung!

I decided to work from home today. I needed a break from the emotional roller coaster I feel like hasn't stopped in a while. Knowing Shawn would leave for work early I would have the entire day with just Sadie & I, thought I should take advantage of a day like this and work from my bed. There are still a TON of things that need to be done around the house that I will hopefully get to today, but as I sit here in bed with my third cup of coffee listening to the gentle rain outside I am reassured that Spring has Sprung.

When I think of Spring...I think of the restoration of new life of things that were once dead...And the birth of new life that has yet to enter this world. Ever since moving to Ohio I get so excited about my tulips popping out from the ground each spring. The anticipation of the pool cover coming off and the official 1st day of pool/grilling season!

The new life entering the world I see so clearly in Shawn does...Shawn works with farmers so I get excited about all the baby animals being born in the spring. One year I was able to feed a calf! And when the grower & Shawn had their backs turned I took the bottle out of her mouth and felt her lips and teeth buds and tongue!!! I know I'm weird but it was COOL!!! This year I am hoping to see a piglet and a lamb. Apparently we are going mushroom hunting one Saturday morning. Don't worry these aren't the kind you smoke! In just a few weeks we are going to pick out our new "baby". One of Shawn's growers has a yellow lab that is about ready to have puppies. They said we can have first pick! Sadie needs a playmate. At least that's what we are blaming the craziness of having two labs on.

Yesterday I played my harp at church for the first time in years. I LOVED IT!! I loved it with every ounce of my being! I was finally able to worship God with my music. It was only by His doing that I didn't throw up in front of everyone. I caught myself second service with my eyes closed just playing away! WORSHIPING! I could feel my soul saying AHHHHHHHHH...

This Spring I can't help but feel the tilling of the ground that God is doing in my heart. When I rest in Him I feel the work He's doing in me. I need the refreshing breeze of God's breath on my heart...my life. I need the sometimes painful tilling of my heart. I need the gentle rain of the tears of my spirit pooling up in God's hands. I need YOU Lord!

Winter seems to last forever here in Ohio. While there is some beauty in winter I wish it only lasted until January. That's kind of how I've felt here for a while. That I was stuck in my winter...in my dying state..in my desert...in my aloneness. But for the past month as much as I have tried to ignore it I feel God tilling away...plowing away in my heart. He has been planting new seeds, restoring and refreshing old plants, dreams and desires. He is moving me to a new harvest.

So now it is my time to arise from my winter...to leave my desert...where I have laid, wept, and prayed. Change my clothes, wash myself off in His presence and His glory and do something that has be difficult for me to do since leaving Rocky Mount...WORSHIP! I can dance and sing a new song of praise to my heavenly Father!

Spring has Sprung...What do you love best about Spring?

It's FRIDAY!

I'm not sure if I have ever been so happy to see Friday get here. With the passing of our first "baby" this week, the beginning of yet another cycle, and yet one more Dr.'s appointment it's nice to know it's FRIDAY! Saturday is coming...A day to rest reorganize and be restored. At least I hope that is what tomorrow brings.

As for my Dr's appointment. I waited almost an hour for a 3 minute conversation that consisted of Yep you defiantly ovulated and Yep you defiantly aren't pregnant this month but I don't see why you shouldn't be pregnant with in the next two cycles. I am praying he is right. I still haven't talked to Shawn about my appointment as of yet. Not sure if he is going to want to continue trying or if I have the emotional capability to to keep this going for two more months. Just praying that God will bring peace to whatever decision we go with.

Great news though...My tulips are getting tall by the day. Sadie had a great day at the doggie spa yesterday, and she is still in bed asleep next to me. She's such a good dog! It's going to be 70 degrees tomorrow! That means Spring is really here. And I get to clean this morning and have tomorrow off from both work and home! YEAH!!!

Enjoy your weekend! I know I will!!!

I Wish Someone Would Tell Me...

I have learned a lot this month by charting my temperatures. It is interesting to actually see it on paper. I have learned that I don't even come close to ovulating on the 14 day...it looks like I might even just ovulate twice in a month...I've learned that Drs can be wrong...all those years when I was told by one Dr not to take my basal body temperature because it was "barbaric" to tell if you were ovulating that taking my blood worked better was wrong...I've learned that my 6 month window of becoming pregnant after the surgery that I had in December is one month closer to coming to an end...I've learned that my husband is seriously struggling with this infertility issue.

What I wish someone could tell me is when to let go of my dream of being a mom? Is laying my dream daily down on the alter giving up? When is enough enough? When is my dream dead?

It's easier to a degree with My Dad, My Friend, My Dog...Letting them go was HARD oh so HARD. But I knew that #1 there were in a better place and were no longer ever going to be in pain or have to struggle again. #2 their physical death was the definite beginning of the letting go precess. It's hard to realize sometimes when your dreams die.

Do I still want to be a mom??? YES!!! I want to have Shawn's baby with ever ounce of my being. Until someone tells me I can't. But I often wonder if I should be letting go of this dream and moving forward into something else. I often wonder if that dream that I had in Rocky Mount about our son was just that only a dream.

My God is a God who performs miracles. Maybe having Shawn's baby isn't the miracle He wants to perform in me. He knows that plans that He has for me...He said He wants to prosper me and not to harm me...maybe having Shawn's baby would harm me. He said that He would grant me abundant prosperity in the fruit of my womb. Maybe that wasn't in baby form...What I'm trying to say is I DON'T DOUBT GOD...what I doubt is my interpretation of what I've read, heard, feel.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2Corinthinas 12:9-10.

And so the weaker I get, the stronger He becomes in me.

I go to the Dr tomorrow to take him my wonderful BBT chart and to see what the next step is. Then I come home to discuss the plan with my wonderful husband. We will pray about our plan lay it on the alter and ask God if and when we let go of our dream.

My 1st Baby

We lost our first baby last night. Razy was the best dogie and is now playing in heaven with my Dad. Swimming in the ponds...chewing on some bones...not in pain anymore!


About 2 months after Shawn & I got married we decided to add to our family. Shawn ALWAYS wanted a lab but being newly married we had no money. I saw a sign on the side of the road that said "FREE golden lab pups". Perfect! that is JUST what we needed. FREE PUPPY! I learned a very valuable lesson...no puppy is FREE...Quickly talked Shawn into going to get a puppy. So Sunday after church we went to go pick out our FREE golden lab puppy. We pulled into the yard, back past the house, and next to an outside pin filled with about 10 puppies and the mama. Mama did look like a yellow lab and so did all the puppies...except for one. Shawn told me I could choose, anyone that I wanted! I played, held, loved on almost everyone, then I spotted THE one in the back of the dog house that momma was protecting. I asked the young boy who came out to help us if I could see that one. I was love at first sight! She was so cute! All black head, a white necklace around her neck, white tipped paws, INFESTED with fleas and about 1/2 the size of all the other puppies there. THAT'S THE ONE!!! Shawn agreed and we took her home!


There were some "rules" put into place by my husband as we were driving home. She is to stay in her cage while we were at work. Not unreasonable. We are NOT spending a ton of money on toys. Ok. Within the week she must go to the vet. No problem. Under NO circumstances is she suppose to sleep in our bed. Sure. Brought her home bathed her with dish soap to get the fleas off and completely fell in love with this four legged baby. That night we put her in her cage and went to bed. She cried and cried!! Shawn the "rule maker" rolls over and says...."May be she could come and sleep with us?" I agreed and she never spent another night in the pin.


She truly was the perfect dog. Not too big not to small a perfect 35 pounds. She could hold her own around playing kids and loved to be snuggled by them. One of my ALLL time favorite pictures is when I would take Razy to the house where I was a nanny and she was laying in the middle of the living room and Annie would lay on her back with her thumb in mouth and her head on Razy's belly. She LOVED to be LOVED! She knew the difference between her all white paw and her mostly brown paw. My favorite trick, the one she hated the most, was she could balance a treat on her nose and in her day would flip it up in the air and catch it in her mouth. She LOVED swimming in the pool, beach, pond, water!!! We'd ask her if she wanted to take a bath and she would beat to the bathroom. She even swallowed and passed a golf ball when she was a puppy. She was the type of dog that made even those who didn't like dogs like her...Right Troy??? :) Whether it be Florida, Maryland, North Carolina, or Ohio she was a dog that would touch your heart when you met her!

Thank you God for taking her quickly. Thank you for almost 12 wonderful years with our first "baby". If you know us at all you know she was our "baby"! Thank you Father for your peace during this time. I would never give up the past twelve years for the sadness I feel today.

Who knew a dog would be missed by so many!

Rest in peace my Razy Girl!!!
June 14, 1997 - April 13, 2009
...she was born on our wedding day! yet one more thing that made her so special...