Friday, December 26, 2008

Right Around the Corner...

Wow is it really right around the corner? 2009? ALREADY? Hard to believe.

Christmas 2008 was so different than any other Christmas but it was just what we needed. We spend Christmas eve night with some friends and their family. As I helped her prepare food for Christmas morning at their house A Christmas Story was on in the background. I couldn't help but think this isn't where I thought I'd be at 33, but at the same time how grateful I am for this journey that God has taken us on. Christmas Day we woke up early opened our stockings that my fabtab sister sent for us (we were suppose to be in Florida this year but for many reasons unable to go). Then headed out to our friends Mike and Natalie's for breakfast! They have 5 kids so it as a lot of fun watching them open presents! Breakfast was delicious and then after the presents there was a fashion show of all the new clothes (just the 3 girls...the boys were too busy putting their Lego's together and shooting the Nerf gun at everyone).

I am very sentimental...I still have confetti from the night I met Shawn, still have THE Thumper that my sister gave to me the day she introduced me to my brother in law. I have a hat that my friend Sarah made during one of her many attempts to teach me how to sew. I have really random things...but one of my favorite things is memories. I WISH i had the skill and/or attention span to make scrapbooks. There are so many memories both happy and sad of just this year that I never want to lose.


January started off with a bang...We went to Florida just after my sisters brain aneurysm surgery. Then to see our friend Barry get married and hang out at Disney with our friends Mike and Natalie. February wow what a month. We grew as a "family"! This is then month when the girls (all girls at the time bc Eli wasn't born yet.) came to live with us for what was suppose to be 3 weeks. March Another WOW month...Our close friend died suddenly unexpectedly and one of my best friends lost her husband...What God continues to do in Sarah's life amazes me! Sarah, I love you! Your faith-Your perseverance-Your honesty-Your "Youness" can never be matched! Not sure what else really happened in that month. April we opened the pool and entire month earlier than normal do to much begging from Taylor the 14 year old. One week after we opened it she began swimming in it and swam almost every day until they moved! May went to Florida to meet my handsome nephew for the first time. Wishing that was the only reason I went...my mom went into the hospital to have her galbladder taken out and stay for a month. My grandfather (my mom's dad) passed away. June camp, camp, and more camp! It was fun! July completely revised VBS, Eli's baby shower, 2 other mommy's baby showers, and my 33rd Birthday. WOW!! August ELI MADDOX graced us with his presence on the 5th! He was soooo tiny. The home going of Shawn's grandmother. September the girls and Eli went back to their home. Vacation to Rocky Mount and Hilton Head. October Fall Family Fun Fest, The Brenner's move to AZ, As much as we've moved...I never realized how impacting moving is for those who stay... WE MISS YOU GUYS! My first GYN appointment with an Ohio Dr. November Shawn's family came for Thanksgiving. And here we are in December so many changes, so many growth opportunities this year.

These are just of the life changing moments of 2008. I am excited to see where God leads us in 2009! Praying that EVEYONE stays healthy and happy!

Monday, December 22, 2008

I've Been Promoted

To the bed that is. Since Wednesday afternoon I have been on the couch in the basement trying to lay still and not lift or do anything that could possibly make scar tissue. Wednesday and Thursday are nothing but a blur to me. Friday, I honestly expected to feel really good SURPRISE I still felt like crap. Saturday finally off pain pills enough to drive and I went to work with plans to go Christmas shopping! I worked from 10-2 and I was pretty much done. Wasn't sure if I could deal with crazy Christmas people so I went home and went to sleep. I have NEVER slept so much as I have the past few days. Some people might enjoy that but I feel so unproductive and it makes me anxious. There is so much to that needs to still be done and I can't go at my normal pace it kind of makes nervous that I won't be able to get everything done. Anyways back to the procedure...

Here's how it went. Wednesday I woke up at 4:30am (went to sleep sometime after 1am) reminding myself "DON'T FORGET to pee in the cup!". I haven't had anything to eat or drink since about 10pm so I knew I needed to make this one count. I get in there open up the box and follow the 8 YES 8 instructions on HOW TO PEE IN THE CUP. By that time I am doing the pee pee dance around the bathroom making sure that I followed each and every last instruction because I won't be able to muster this up again. After that I crawled back into bed and waited and prayed until my alarm went off. We didn't have to be to the hospital until 8:30am but it was suppose to be icy so we left 2 hours ahead of time for a 45min drive. LOL! You gotta love my husband.

Got to the hospital and waited...isn't that always the way...hurry up and wait. They called me back and explained the procedure about 10 times by about 10 different people. At this point I am realizing that this procedure is going to be a little bigger than I thought. Everyone there was SO nice and helpful. Surprisingly, I wasn't very anxious at this point. They let Shawn come back and wait with me. In his nervousness made really inappropriate comments about all kinds of things. Like the funny looking guy in the waiting room with a comb over that went down the back of his neck. Then the Dr came back with the great news...the surgery had been bumped up one hour! YEAH ME!

I get wheeled back to the OR room and my first response was I wish I could stay awake to see how all this cool equipment works! They laughed and said that I was going to a much nice place. The anesthesiologist told me that she was putting something in my IV and then next was the "happy juice". The DR came over and held my hand and said something to the effect of he was going to fix me right up. Next thing I remember was waking up asking "can I go home yet?" All I could think about was getting home then I knew I could rest.

Shawn said that the DR came out and talked to him and told him the procedure went great. He was able to open up my left tube, removed all the endometriosis and scar tissue and made my uterus sticky! :) What every girl wants for Christmas! I have to admit when Shawn told me that he was able to open up my left tube I almost started crying. To me that was such an answer to prayers! And like every good husband asked, "Dr. How long before, you know, um, we can, um, try?" Don't know if that's EXACTLY how it was asked but I could just imagine. The Dr said 7-10 days.

As I was waking up all I could remember was what one of the nurses pre-surgery told me...If you don't ask for pain meds you won't get it...and you are going to need them. By that time Shawn was back there. He said that they gave me three different doses of pain meds before I actually fully woke up. I asked for ice chips and was able to keep that down and then they wanted me to eat. They brought me a Diet Coke and two different types of crackers. I ate one cracker and drink the entire Diet Coke, but apparently kept asking when I could go home. They gave me two prescriptions for some of the good drugs and sent me home.

I spent the next few days not being able to complete a thought without working really hard at it, Sleeping, watching movies, making plans for different things, talking on the phone or on the computer...but most importantly...praising God for allowing me to find this Dr. giving him the wisdom to find these issues and letting it and knowing how to take care of it and PRAISING GOD for this beautiful child(ren), world changer, that He has promised to us!

Well, its time to get back to the real world. Wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, cook dinner, clean the house, and go to bed to do it all over again. Still not feeling 100% so I am NOT going to lift anything or do anything too difficult. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Can you believe that Christmas is only a few days away??? Who knows I might actually be prego by the end of the year. I have been praying for this child of mine in 2009!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

In the Begining...

There was two...praying that there will be more!

Tomorrow is the day. I go in to the hospital at 8am and then the surgery is at 10am and hopefully home by 3pm. The surgery will consist of a D&C, removal of endometriosis & fibroid tumor, and praying for the opening of my left fallopian tube. God says to be specific when you pray...Please agree with us in prayer that the surgery will go well tomorrow and to guide the surgeons hands. The removal of the endometriosis & tumor will be removed easily with no scare tissue and that the tube can be opened easily. Ultimately a pregnancy this month! A healthy uncomplicated pregnancy and a healthy baby!

At the last encounter that Shawn went to before leaving Rocky Mount one of the guys prayed this Bible verse over us and it is something that we have been clinging to daily. The LORD will grant you abundant prosperity—in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground—in the land he swore to your forefathers to give you. Deuteronomy 28:11

Thanking you in advance for your continued prayers and love!!! I feel so blessed to have friends such as you!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Letting go & Moving on

I think I do a pretty good job of fulfilling Romans 12:15 most of the time. No ones perfect...please hear me...I'm not saying that I am...but my husband and I have been married for 11 1/2 years and off of birth control for 10 and we have had no baby as of yet. Still I have given baby showers, attended baby showers, took food over to new moms, held crying moms that their babies went to be with Jesus earlier than they ever thought. I have rejoiced with those who rejoice and mourned with those who mourn. I don't say all this to get a pat on the back or a way to go you rock. I say this because something was said...that mind you has been said before by a certain family that REALLY hurt deep last night.

The young mom who stayed at our house this year sang at a Christian coffee house last night and a whole group of us went to go hear her sing. Her mom & sister were there and also a friend that I have never met before. I've just heard a lot about this friend. As we are all sitting around the table waiting for her to sing I said to her, "When are you going to go out so I can watch the kids?" she said "I don't know". Her friend said, "You can't watch the kids. You'll keep them." The table got silent for a brief second. Then my friend Heather said, "Going out? Your going with us!" Its always good to have friends like Heather! She wanted to leg sweep the girl but I told her no. :) I have to say...I LOVE HEATHER!

It amazed me how just a few small words could crush my heart. This girl doesn't know me. Why would she say that to me? She doesn't know anything that I have gone through. She had to have heard that from somewhere. This family that I put my life on hold for 9 month to help thinks the only reason I'm have a relationship with them is to take the kids? The younger sister has said that before to me but she's 15. She just needed to be reassured of where our relationship stood.

God has chosen a mom for those two beautiful children...its not me...I'm ok with that! There is no one better suited to be their mom than HER! God doesn't make mistakes. Its NO secret that I love kids. And I love the parents that ALLOW me to love their kids. I know it is a privilege. But it still hurts to know that I may not be able to love, encourage, & minister to those children because someone in the family fears that I might take them away. That has never been a thought...

It amazes me how satan tries to use one comment to break a relationship, to damage a relationship. The balls in my court now. I have the chance to forgive, pray for them, ask God to remove any roots in my heart so they don't take hold, and to pray for the young friend that said it. I am moving on from this and stand firm on the promises that God has in store for me!

Friday, December 12, 2008

THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT

Someone sent me this email the other day. I thought it was worth reposting...is that anything like regifting?...anyways...

THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT
My husband and I had been happily married (most of the time) for five years but hadn't been blessed with a baby. I decided to do some serious praying and promised God that if he would give us a child,I would be a perfect mother,love it with all my heart and raise it with His word as my guide.

God answered my prayer sand blessed us with a son. The next year God blessed us with another son. The following year,He blessed us with yet another son. The year after that we were blessed with a daughter. My husband thought we'd been blessed right into poverty.We now had four children,and the oldest was only four years old. I learned never to ask God for anything unless I meant it.As a minister once told me,"If you pray for rain,make sure you carry an umbrella."

I began reading a few verses of the Bible to the children each day as they lay in their cribs. I was off to a good start.God had entrusted me with four children and I didn't want to disappoint Him. I tried to be patient the day the children smashed two dozen eggs on the kitchen floor searching for baby chicks. I tried to be understanding...when they started a hotel for homeless frogs in the spare bedroom, although it took me nearly two hours to catch all twenty-three frogs. When my daughter poured ketchup all over herself and rolled up in a blanket to see how it felt to be a hot dog,I tried to see the humor rather than the mess. In spite of changing over twenty-five thousand diapers,never eating a hot meal and never sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time,I still thank God daily for my children.

While I couldn't keep my promise to be a perfect mother -I didn't even come close...I did keep my promise to raise them in the Word of God. I knew I was missing the mark just a little when I told my daughter we were going to church to worship God,and she wanted to bring a bar of soap along to"wash up" Jesus, too. Something was lost in the translation when I explained that God gave us everlasting life, and my son thought it was generous of God to give us his "last wife."


My proudest moment came during the children's Christmas pageant. My daughter was playing Mary,two of my sons were shepherds and my youngest son was a wise man.This was their moment to shine. My five-year-old shepherd had practiced his line,"We found the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes." But he was nervous and said, "The baby was wrapped in wrinkled clothes." My four-year-old "Mary" said,"That's not 'wrinkled clothes,' silly. That's dirty, rotten clothes." A wrestling match broke out between Mary and the shepherd and was stopped by an angel,who bent her halo and lost her left wing.

As I slouched a little lower in my seat when Mary dropped the doll representing Baby Jesus, and it bounced down the aisle crying, "Mama-mama." Mary grabbed the doll,wrapped it back up and held it tightly as the wise men arrived. My other son stepped forward wearing a bathrobe and a paper crown,knelt at the manger and announced,"We are the three wise men,and we are bringing gifts of gold, common sense and fur."

The congregation dissolved into laughter,and the pageant got a standing ovation. "I've never enjoyed a Christmas program as much as this one,"laughed the pastor, wiping tears from his eyes "For the rest of my life,I'll never hear the Christmas story without thinking of gold, common sense and fur." "My children are my pride and my joy and my greatest blessing," I said as I dug through my purse for an aspirin.

I pray that one day soon I will become a mom who looks at the humor instead of the mess. I thank God daily for the promise of our children to come. I'm excited to see how we grow as we try to raise them and teach them about their heavenly Father. As in the story above seeing things through children's eyes can some different than seeing things through our filtered eyes.

As I endevore to serve God in every area of my life I know that my prayers will not return void. The answers may be different than what I expected but I serve a King that is not human and He keeps every promise that He makes. Thanking Him daily for His gift of His only son. That still amazes me...coming as a tiny baby but yet as a majestic KING!

Jesus had no servants,yet they called Him Master.
Had no degree,yet they called Him Teacher .
Had no medicines,yet they called Him Healer.
Had no army,yet kings feared Him.
He won no military battles,yet He conquered the world.
He committed no crime,yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a tomb,yet He lives today. Feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves us!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

There's Hope

Moving ahead bold and confident but it is much easier when there is hope. Something that honestly I haven't had for awhile. Thank you Lord for restoring hope within me.

On October 30th I finally had my first gyn/ob appointment since moving to Ohio. It went well. Nothing too much to be excited about. Dr. M is a fast paced straight to the point kind of guy. Didn't really have time to make me feel all warm and fuzzy but I wasn't turned off by him either. He knew his stuff and that's what is important.

At the first appointment he did the regular first appointment stuff as well as took my blood as well as scheduled an appointment for this past Friday November 14th to have an ultrasound done. That is the quickest why for him to see what he's dealing with. My blood work came back fine and he says all my levels are where they needed to be for the day of my cycle I was on when he took my blood. My first question was my progesterone level...It came back at .9. I was a little disappointed but he told me not too worry that it can drop that low during some days of your cycle.

My second appointment is when I had my ultrasound and he went over what we were going to do next. His words were, " This is a good ultrasound...everything is minor and can be fixed quickly and easily. We will get you and your husband on the road to tiring to have a baby quickly." AWESOME!!! PRAISE YOU GOD!!! was my first reaction.

Apparently I have a little endometriosis, fibroid tumor, a really thick uterine lining. He says that all of these things can be fixed with little laparoscopy surgery. He will first do a DNC to make my uterus a little less thick and a little more sticky. Then he will remove the tumor and cut out endometriosis. He made it sound so simple that I thought I was going to drive myself and go to work afterwards until I read the paperwork that he gave me. I think someones going to need to go with me... Either way I don't think that it will be too bad. Seems fairly painless but I'll let you know for sure December 17th.

Keep us in your prayers. Its kind of exciting knowing that once this hysteroscopy is done by this time next year we might actually have a baby...or two. :)

Here's to hoping!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

What do I do for a living???

When I tell people what I do for a living sometimes they don't get it. There was a time when I didn't get it either...I read this the other day I read something that explained exactally what I do.

I am a minister. I minister to the largest mission field in the world. I minister...to children.My calling is sure. My challenge is big. My vision is clear. My desire is strong. My influence is eternal. My impact is critical. My values are solid. My faith is durable. My mission is urgent. My purpose is unmistakable. My direction is for - ward. My heart is genuine. My strength is supernatural. My reward is promised. And my God is real.

In a world of cynicism, I offer hope. In a world of confusion, I offer truth. In a world of immorality, I offer values. In a world of neglect, I offer attention. In a world of abuse, I offer safety. In a world of ridicule, I offer affirmation. In a world of division, I offer reconciliation. In a world of bitterness, I offer forgiveness. In a world of sin, I offer salvation. In a world of hate, I offer God’s love.I refuse to be dismayed, disengaged, disgruntled, discouraged or distracted.

Neither will I look back, stand back, fall back, go back or sit back. I do not need applause, flattery, adulation, prestige, stature or veneration. I do not have time for business as usual, mediocre standards, small thinking, outdated methods, normal expectations, average results, ordinary ideas, petty disputes or low vision.

I will not give up, give in, bail out, lie down, turn over, quit or surrender.I will pray when things look bad. I will pray when things look good. I will move forward when others stand still. I will trust God when obstacles arise. I will work when the task is overwhelming. I will get up when I fall down.

My calling is to reach boys and girls for God. It is too serious to be taken lightly, too urgent to be postponed, too vital to be ignored, too relevant to be overlooked, too significant to be trivialized, too eternal to be fleeting and too passionate to be quenched.I know my mission. I know my challenge. I also know my limitations, my weak - nesses, my fears and my problems.

And I know my God. Let others get the praise. Let the church get the blessing. Let God get the glory.I am a minister. I minister to children.

This is who I am. This is what I do.

The Call by Roger Fields

Coffee & Red Bull

3 LARGE cups of coffee hasn't even touched my sleepiness this morning. I think I could curl up under my desk and go to sleep. We went to bed before midnight...like 11:30ish so I shouldn't be THAT sleepy. I think it is just because i actually REALLY REALLY slept last night. No dreams...no work...no one chasing me...It was just me and the pillow. :) I want to go back.

Sadie, our chocolate lab, slept with us last night. She's so funny there are some days that she likes to be right in the middle of us. Other days she wants nothing to do with us and goes and sleeps in the other room. I wonder why there is such a big difference. I wonder if she has scary dreams or maybe she's just cold and wants to warm up. Shawn says I treat Raz and Sadie like a bunch of pre schoolers. I do...but it sure is nice to wake up in the morning and have this cute chocolate face looking at you.

So the question of the day is...will I leave to get a Red Bull before my staff meeting or after my staff meeting...I'm guessing it will be with in the next few mins...It's a coffee AND red bull kind of day...

Friday, October 31, 2008

Made...

Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16

It excites me that HE already knows how many hairs are on my children's head...exactally what his toes are going to look like...exactally who he is going to be when he grows up...just how much I already love him!

Thank you Lord for your promises!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

21 Things on 10/21

Saw this on one of the Blogs I follow and thought I'd try it!

21 Things on 10/21

1. Where is your cell phone? On the nightstand
2. Where is your significant other? in bed next to me SICK!
3. Your hair color? DARK brown and red..just like the fall leaves :)
4. Your mother? Kathryn Gayle; lives in Tampa
5. Your father? Paul "Skip"; lives with Jesus
6. Something you’re not wearing? Jewelry
7. Your dream last night? Don't remember it all...but it was funny!!
8. Your dream/goal? To live a productive, happy life with my husband and future children!
9. The room you're in? In my bedroom
10. Your fear? That I'll never have my own child to watch grow up
11. Where do you want to be in six years? Raising our children where ever God leads us
12. Where were you last night? Had Mike and Natalie over for dinner
13. Where you grew up? TAMPA FLORIDA!
14. The last thing you did? Went to Jackie and Danny's LAST Cell Group...
so sad...
15. What are you wearing? PJ's shorts and my friend Shannon's t-shirt
16. Your TV? Watching FRIENDS
17. Your pet? Two beautiful puppies!!! Razy and Sadie
18. Your car? PT cruiser
19. Your mood? Trying to relax and get ready for bed
20. When is the last time you laughed? Just now watching FRIENDS
21. Last time you cried? Last week because the Brenner's are moving to Arizona...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Standing on His Promise

There has been so much going on here the past few weeks. I started looking back at the calendar and twelve weeks ago we were... Preparing our home for a new baby, Getting ready for yet another birthday of mine, the birth of baby Eli, the death of Shawn's grandmother, the death of McLovin' (Taylor's bearded dragon), went on vacation, went back to Rocky Mount, moved the girls out, went through a very interesting empty nest time, prepared for Fall Fest @ work, found out that our dearest friends from Ohio are moving to Arizona, and so much more that I could go on all day.

What amazes me is how much happens in twelve weeks and how much is gone none of that will ever happen again. There are times when I wonder what could I have done different to make more of an impact on every single one of these experiences? Live goes by so fast and is filled with so many things and people but when I sit still there are times when I feel so empty and alone. I am thankful that I have a Father that lets me feel but doesn't allow me to stay in those places...I am thankful that I serve a King that is full of promise and hope. There are days when all I can do is stand…Stand on His promises for me and my family.

Jeremiah 29: 11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Philippians 4:12-13 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Psalm 138:8 "The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever—do not abandon the works of your hands."

Romans 4:20 "Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised."

Numbers 23:19 “The Lord will grant you abundant prosperity in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground-in the land he swore to your forefathers to give you.

Deuteronomy 28:11 God is NOT a God that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not fulfill?"

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Never say Never

I remember when we first were married waaayyy back in 1997 I remember Shawn and I talking about children. We would go on birth control for the first year and then start trying year two or three to have a baby. We talked about foster care. We both agreed that we would never do the foster care thing it would be too hard and complicated. Sounds like a plan huh?! After 11 years and 4 months it is clear to say God had other plans. Although I know that He has promised us children its the where when and how that is still in question.

As I have mentioned in other blogs we had a some kids come live with us for 8 months. YES pretty much just like foster care except we didn't get paid by the state...They went home the a few weeks ago. The oldest one had a beautiful baby boy while living with us. He is growing like a weed now! He went from 5lbs 6oz(lowest weight) to 11 lbs 2oz. She is a great mom and loves him so much! The four 4 old has started preschool & LOVES IT. The 15 year old is doing great in high school. I am so proud of them! Just as much as it was an adjustment when they moved in but I think that its more of an adjustment now that they are not here.

So this puts us in a strangely familiar place of what do we do now. The question of our baby comes back to where, when, and how. The Doctor that I went to while living in Rocky Mount was wonderful but with the jobs Shawn had and the fact that he lived up here for 9 months didn't help the getting pregnant factor of things. I could go to the Dr all I wanted and take all the fertility meds but apparently your other half has to actually BE there to get pregnant. Were do we stand on the baby thing you may want to know...We are going to finish up our foster care to adopt license just in case our baby is suppose to come from someone else's tummy but I have also FINALLY made a Dr. appointment.

Can you believe that it has been 2 1/2 years since I have been to the Dr??? Why in the world did I wait that long at 33 years old?? Yes I know that my "Time Clock" is ticking. But with moving I wasn't sure how to pick out the best of the best baby Dr. I have been praying about it for some time now...talked to some people about it...made what I deemed as a rational deduction of Dr...prayed about it some more and then FINALLY made an appointment. My appointment is Thursday October 30. (just 2 days after my dearest friend from OHIO is moving CLEAR ACROSS the country to Arizona. Which may make this Dr think I need some other sort of help other than him) Please pray for this appointment to go well.

Ultimately, I pray and dream that he'll take one look at me and say "YEP your pregnant! Let's do an ultra sound to see how far along you are! OH LOOK THERE'S TWINS!!! A boy and a girl!" Yes...I already have their names picked out. But realistically pray that he knows exactly what I need to do to become pregnant with out thousands and thousands of $$$ and years and years and years worth of test. Pray that this is THE Dr that God is wanting us to go to. Another important thing to me is to pray that he is a Christian that has beliefs that intermingle with ours. I've been to Dr's who are Christians and those who aren't. There is a difference in my opinion.

Well in case you were wondering that's where we stand on the KIDS issue. I have prayed for my children since I was young...SOOOO many reassurances that God knows the desire of our hearts and has plans on fulfilling the promises that He has given to us.

Hubby & I are going with a few other couples to see Fire.Proof this weekend with a few other couples. Suppose to be a great movie if you get a chance check it out...http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/

Happy Fall Ya'll!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

3 Reasons

I have to admit lately I have been asking God, "Why do I do what I am doing?". Today as I came in early this afternoon to get some "quite time" prior to evening church I feel at peace with the answer...there are three reasons why I continue to do what I do.

#1 Intimacy with my Dad, my Father, MY GOD!
#2 Involvement in my community that surrounds my on a minute by minute basis.
#3 Influence the world. Only God knows what these children will become...I'm not even sure if they will remember my name but I pray that they will remember the feeling of God's love through me.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Unbelieveable...

My favorite vacation is a vacation at the beach! One of my favorite thing to do is to take a walk on the beach in the morning. The first morning we were there I decided to get up and take a walk on the beach by my self. I took a cup of coffee and that's it. I was so excited! NOW I wish I had my camera or at least my phone...As I walked down to the end of the deck I prayed..."God I REALLY want to enjoy your beautiful creation...Which was should I walk??" I decided to go left...because I'm left handed...REALLY it makes sense! I found 2 little baby sea turtles working their way to the ocean. I know your not suppose to but I picked one up and touched it held it and just marveled at it for a few mins. I put it back down to finish his jounery to his new life out in the HUGE ocean. I set there and watch as they hit the water and wondered how do they ever make it??? How do they ever get so big? When they hit the water they are only about 3 inches. If that wasn't enough. I turned around to walk back the other way and picked up a few sand dollars Walked a little further and saw about 5 star fish! Yes I picked them up too! Then I saw some people fishing and a few kids playing in the "puddles" from low tide so what did I do??? I NEEDED to go see what they were doing. The kids were play with a baby black tip shark and then the guys fishing caught a sting ray with a 4 foot long wing span! It was SOOOO cool! I was able to touch everything!

The little things that God does to make my day are really unbelievable. I can't believe that I am actually worth it to HIM! Thanks Dad!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Making a list and checking it WAY more than twice!

Today's the day I've been dreaming about since we moved...

We are off to Hilton Head South Carolina tonight! Our first stop...Rocky Mount North Carolina! I can't wait! Our plan is to be there by breakfast tomorrow morning and then the beach by 3pm!!! I'm planning a dinner picnic on the beach! Hope its not TOO windy! OK I just noticed that almost all my sentences ended in an exclamation point!!!!! Bet you can't tell I'm excited!!! So much to update on but I better go finish my lists...I'll have a whole week to up date my blog!!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Small but Mighty!!!

He may have come into this world weighing only 5lbs 15ounces but he has a mighty strong presence about him! He didn't like his first bath much but who would...I'm sure it isn't as nice as the one he had been in for the past nine months! Mom and sister are doing well...Although Kelly needs to get some sleep just like any other new mother! But here take a look what what a cutie he is!!!




Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you.Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you...Jeremiah 1:5 The Message

Monday, August 4, 2008

Tomorrow's the DAY!!

It is with mixed emotions that I write this blog. Hard to believe that it has already been 9 months. Kelly is going to deliver Eli tomorrow by c-section around 1pm. We have to be at the hospital at 7am for one last ultrasound and an amnio. Then is everything still looks like the last ultra sound he will meet the world a little after 1pm. If anyone knows me you know how excited I get especially about babies! But there is the other side of me, the incredibly selfish side, that thinks WHAT THE HECK WENT WRONG HERE??!! What about ME God??? When I finally get to this point (on a daily basis at times) and ask God what about me??? That's when God, with His still small voice, leads me again and again to the scripture...

The Lord will grant you abundant prosperity in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground-in the land he swore to your forefathers to give you. Deuteronomy 28:11

God is NOT a God that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not fulfill? Numbers 23:19

Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God has the power to do what he had promised. Romans 4:20-21

The one that I find particularly funny not because of what it says but because one day I was extremely discouraged and felt completely LOST and alone I opened my Bible to 2 Peter and looked directly at verse TWO Grace and PEACE be your in ABUNDANCE through the knowledge of God and of Jesus.

So needless to say I am so excited I can barely stand it! I can't wait to hold him kiss him love him most of all learn some wonderful lessons from him.

I'll let you know how it all works out tomorrow. Please pray for Kelly and baby Eli that everything goes smoothly and everyone is happy and healthy. Also pray for their entire extended family...with a new baby coming into the family is changes things and can bring unresolved past to the surface again.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Something I read today...

I didn't write this but it hit the spot for me today so I thought I'd share it...plus it went right along with a song that I heard this morning. Don't know why but God continues to amaze me in the way that He speaks to me...

Reaching Out to God

Its true that sometimes when we need Him most we feel far away from Godhurting, alone, forgotten, trampled down by a crowd of problems. Maybe at that point weve given up on ever feeling close to Him again. Maybe we feel dirty and unfit, covered with worldly dust that robs us of courage and weakens our faith.

Well, girlfriend, let me tell you: when you find yourself in that kind of ordeal, remember the woman in the Bible who reached out through the mob to touch the hem of Jesus cloak. There may have been something in her than wanted to think He had passed her by or forgotten her or turned His back on her. . . . Ah, but she knew better. She knew that even if she didnt feel close to Jesus, even if she couldnt look Him in the eye and talk to Him face to face, He still knew she was there. So she came up behind Him and flung out her arm through the raucous crowd, knowing, If I only touch His cloak, I will be healed.

And she did. And she was.

Thelma Wells


One Touch; Nicole C. Mullen; Sharecropper's Seed
Been ostracized for 12 years
I'm used to being alone
Spent everything I had
And now it's gone
I'm used to being put down
My issues tell it all
My only hope is anchored
In this fall
If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'd be made whole
If I could just press my way through this madness
His love would heal my soul
If only one touch
So many people calling
How could He ever know
That just a brush of Him
Would stop the flow
If he knew would He rebuke me
Or shame me to the crowd
Well I'm desperate 'cause it's never or it's now
Suddenly He turned around
He said somebody has unleashed my power
Well, Frightened and embarrassed I bowed
You see I told Him of my troubles
And how...
I had to touch the Hem of His garment
And I know I've been made whole
And how I had pressed my way through the madness
And His love has healed my soul
Then with one word He touched the hem of my garment
And you know I've been made whole
And somehow He pressed His way through my madness
And His love has healed my soul
I tell you He touched me
He reached way down and touched me
When no one else would touch me
Jesus, shol' 'nough He touched me...
And I know I've been made whole.

I love the fact that no matter what I'm doing in my life God finds those teachable moments when I least expect it. I just pray for open ears, expectant heart, and a prayerful spirit to be able to accept His still small voice. BTW this is a GREAT CD so if you get a chance to hear it or get it do!!!

Friday, July 25, 2008

I need help PLEASE!!!

I know I promised and update about camps and VBS but this is on my heart…

As I have written about before in this blog I have 3 "foster kids" living with us right now. They have been at our home since the middle of February and yes we knew that the 20 was pregnant when she moved in. Not knowing how long they were staying I didn't really plan for the new baby that was coming in August. She's having the baby August 5th and I am SO NOT PREPARED!!!! Yes I have taken care of so many babies/children in my life but not one of them lived with me on a permanent basis. This is where you come in...I know SOOOOO many of you great mommies out there know what it takes to bring a baby home. Here are some of the questions that I am hoping that you can answer for me.

-She is having a boy what do we need to have at home to care for him after his little “surgery” on his peepee?
-How about the umbilical cord what do you use to clean that?
-What were the MUST HAVES (besides diapers/wipes) that you couldn’t live without when you got home from the hospital?
-She is having a c-section any special instruction I need to know about helping her heal?
-What are some of the best website for new mommies?
-Any places that you have found that give great deals or samples to new mommies?
-What is the biggest thing that you learned the first 2 weeks home from the hospital with your new little bundle of joy?

Any advice will be appreciated for this floundering friend. I know there is a mommy but she looks to me to have the answers at times and I want to be as prepared as I possible can be.

Take a look at the little one who is going to be joining our household in just a few short days. This was taken at 32 weeks, he has his hand under his chin. I told his mommy that it looked like he was praying!MAN this is such a weird feeling...

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Finally a blog moment

Has it really been more than two months since I blogged???? WOW!!! On one hand it feels like it was just yesterday but so much has happened that I don't know where to begin. I started a few posts about my not so every day live.

Well for starters on Saturday May 10th my mom went to the hospital with a horrible pain in her chest, back and stomach. Thinking she was having a heart attach she was relieved to know that it was just a gallbladder problem. Yes in case you were wondering it REALLY did come on fast. Usually with a gallbladder they send you home and set up a time to take it out. They didn't in her case...Thank you God! They went in to take it out on Monday and they were glad they did. It was so filled with infection and gangrene that if it were to have ruptured than it would have most likely killed her. They tried to get all the infection out but some of it attached it self to the back of her right lung and caused it too collapse and caused fluid around her heart. They moved her to ICU to keep a closer eye on her because she has having such pain and difficulty breathing. The Dr's tried many different things to remove the infection but it didn't work. They had to go in and do a major lung surgery on May 20th.

While all this is going on with my mom, Grandfather, my mom's dad passed away on May 16th. ALL the Dr's suggested that we NOT tell her while she was in that condition. So with much prayer and discussion we agreed with the Dr. Kim and Kenny did get to go the furnel while I stayed with Mom during her surgury. It was a hard desision but I still believe that we did the right thing. God trully blessed us with extremely caring and understandable Dr's and nurses during this hard time. Now that all was said and done she is home with Kim and David in Tampa feeling better each day. Kim and David are doing a great job helping my mom regroup and trying to make her take it easy...that's not always an easy job!

Between my sister's brain anurisum and my mom's gullbladder gone wrong I have spent more time in Florida since October than I have in that past 10 years since I've been gone from there. I am so thankful that God has blessed me with a job and understanding bosses that are willing to allow my time to be with my family and help them in what ever way I can. I pray that this year will be one full of health and happiness for the Clower, Wilkerson, Wise family.

The best part about spending time down in Florida was getting to met my georgous new nephew who was born in Costa Rica the end of December. He's offically 6 months old now and keeps getting more good looking with each new picture.
Isn't he cute!!! Look at those blue eyes. He was such a good baby! He took to all of his crazy America family very well. Grandma got out of the hospital just in time to spend some time with baby Kian before they left.

Well I better go and get to bed...I will up date you soon on all my other summer adventures! I can't wait to fill you in!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Answer to Prayer...

Go to Woman of Faith come back refreshed...ahhhhh Sounds nice huh??? It has been the hardest week I can remember. I have not wanted to throw, beat, stomp, spit on as many things as I have this week. Weird huh? When satan wants to hit you he can tend to come full force when he thinks God is moving in your life.

The week started off OK. Shawn was out of town in Wisconsin for work, so it was just me and the three girls. In case you were wondering Taylor has effectively learned every single one of my buttons to push. Even buttons which I didn't know I had. I usually do a fairly good job at reasoning with children. Yes I know Taylor is a teenager...but still I'm older I have more life experience and I should be able to get her to do what I need her to do. I have to admit at one point in time I wanted to throw the tape dispenser at her. :) It must have been the lack of sleep from the weekend and then not sleeping well at all with Shawn being gone. I love her though...she is going to be one AWESOME INCREDIBLE witness for her Heavenly Father. God is making her into one WONDERFUL WOMAN...As for a teenager...I recall what Pastor Ken had to say...Jesus loves you and I'm trying.

Then comes Wednesday...after being at work from 8am until 9:30pm my car started to over heat. Thankfully by God's Grace it over heat just after I got off our exit and Shawn had just home a few hours earlier. I pulled into McD's parking lot and call my car smart husband up to come in rescue us. On Saturday Morning after Shawn replaced the breaks for someone that work with he tried to work on my car. It was too hard and had to take it to an actually professional car doctor. We are just praying now that it won't be too expensive.

Thursday starts out late with no car it's difficult to get 19 miles up the road. I like to get to work at 8 but didn't get to work until 11 and then it seemed like the entire day was shot!

Friday was fun but extremely emotionally draining. I took Kelly, Jaylin, and Taylor to go register at Babies R Us for baby Eli (that's his name Eli Maddox). It seemed like that weekend was just as crazy as the week. To top it ALL off Sadie ,my choclate lab ate over 1/2 my hamburger tonight!!!! IT WAS ON MY PLATE!!!! I DIDN'T OFFER IT TO HER!!! MAN was I ticked! It is true...God gives strength to those who ask. OH there is so much more I could add in here but its late and I'm tried of typing and if your still there you HAVE to be tired of reading about my boring busy life.

How is all of this an answer to prayer you might ask...Before I left Rocky Mount I prayed GOD PLEASE give me a season of rest when i get to Ohio. He did...6 months almost to the day...during that time I prayed Please give me SOMETHING TO DO!!!! God USE ME!!! What's taking so long...

I bet God's laughing saying See that's why you needed 6 months...

Monday, April 28, 2008

Random



I have to admit...I really like/want random things for the most part. I saw this beautiful olive wood salt keeper. Do I need one ABSOLUTELY not...probably not... wait maybe I do...I know that it is just an infatuation but it sounds so nice...

Beautiful and unique, this box keeps a half-pound of cooking salt within close reach on your countertop. It’s from Bérard, the French maker of fine wood products since 1892, and handcrafted from beautifully grained olive wood with an oiled finish. Because each one is carved from the branch of an olive tree, no two are alike and dimensions vary slightly. The salt keeper’s swiveling magnetic lid provides easy access with one hand; rubber feet hold the box steady while you grab a pinch. The stainless-steel hinge resists corrosion.

I went to Woman of Faith this weekend with about 20 woman from my church. It was awesome...I'll blog about that later.

Well I am suppose to be getting ready for a hugh meeting that I have tomorrow. So I better quit drooling over this wonderful olive wood salt keeper and get back to work. Hope you are all having a wonderful SPRING!!!! It's suppose to snow tonight. No I'm not kidding. We JUST opened our pool on Monday.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

At 32 another 1st!

It amazes me how fast weeks really do come and go when you grow up. Well I have to admit I didn't become a pro at Guitar Hero like I wanted to last week...I got sick. Brandie and he sisters arrived here on Thursday evening and I got sick with strep throat Friday morning. Except I didn't know what it was. I have never had strep throat. I got a sky high fever and broke out with at least 200 pimples on the back of my neck. I went to the dr on Monday and he said there was no doubt it was a bad case of strep. Thought it was kind of funny God chose to allow me to have a huge amount of pimples but he put them on the back of my neck. I couldn't see them or anything. I was too scared to pop them for the fear that they might spread.

Well its been a crazy busy week since then. We had encounter this weekend. Not all church's have it but it is a pretty powerful weekend for those who are ready. I of course was in charge of children. Shawn spoke and did a really good job from what I hear. After serving in weekends such as this it always excites me to see God moving in the lives of those who attend but there are times when I leave a weekend such as this asking begging for God tosweep me away in His arms where nothing matters and be refreshed in nothing else but His presence. Where there are no intruptions...just the ability to sit at His feet and lean back aginst him and SOAK in His presence. I am praying for a time such as that REALLY SOON!

Friday, April 11, 2008

It's offical


As I sit here in the cool morning air with my cup of coffee I have come to a realization... In case you were wondering what it was I absolutly possitivly SUCK at Guitar Hero!Brandie brought her two little sisters up here this weekend and they brought Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution. I don't mind admitting it. I do have to say it was pretty funny watching my play. The people on the TV were BOOING me and wanting to kick me off the stage, Gabbie kept saying "Please let me turn it on pratice for you then they won't boo you." After about the fourth try of Hit Me With Your Best Shot on easy I actually made through the entire song. YEAH ME!!! Well this weekend will be entirely devoted to becoming a pro at GH and DDR!!! I will let you know how it turns out.

Monday, April 7, 2008

A request for VBS...

And NO that is NOT a STD... Its VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL!!! How many of you out there remember your childhood VBS experiences????? In preparations of this years VBS my wonderfully awesome coordinator came up with a list of prayer request to hand out to all our voulenteers...Thought i might ask you to pray as well.

VBS preparation:
-order & structure in preparing curriculum and classrooms
-favor in receiving supplies & donations
-RESPONSIBLE, spirit-filled adults to volunteer

Prepare volunteers:
-to minister to the childresn and their families
-to be patient, to show kindness and love to use wisdom
-to coorperate & to be courteous to church staff, VBS Directors, and other volunteers

Prepare the children:
-to receive Christ as their Savior
-to be excited about participating
-to take the love of Jesus home to their families

Prepare the Parents/Guardians:
-to send their child to VBS
-to be punctual in dropping off and picking up their children
-to witness & experience the love of Christ @ VBS

VBS Conclusion
-Salvation of chilren and their families
-Growth in families' relationships with Christ and each other
-REST for all church staff and volunteers

I would LOVE to hear about experiences that you had at VBS when you were a child. What do you wish they would have done or things that you HATED that they did. Its always intresting to me get a perspective of what we thought of as children.

7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
Matthew 7:7-8

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Hard to take at times...

It has been so long since Shawn and I started trying to have babies that you'd think that I'd be use to all the "baby talk" around the church. It still sucks it sill hurts it still makes me want to cry. I usually do a fairly good job of holding it together,believing in God's promise for us but it wasn't that way tonight. I almost lost it about a dozen times. My heart hurts, and it hurts in a way that is unexplainable in words.

In the mist of this there are firsts...I've now been to my first OB appointment for a pregnancy. Today I have picked up my first prescription for prenatal vitamins and am preparing for my first ultrasound on Wednesday. I was so excited in the beginning now all I keep thinking is...That should be me. Why isn't that me? Yet I know my faith must remain strong...struggle sometimes.

Romans 4:20Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Great Expectations

I have been praying and praying that God will give me an over all vision for the children's ministry at the church where I attend as well as work. I feel like God has said many things to me regarding His vision for this church. I don't feel like I have the over all vision for the children's ministry yet but God continues to speak in His still small way visions of certain aspects the children's ministry which gives me a different sense of excitement.

I started working at the church the end of May last year and went directly in to planning for VBS mid June. YES that is what you call diving in head first. Last years VBS went well for putting it together in matter of a month or so...but this years I know will be outstanding. Last year every step from preparation to cleaning up I heard God say "maintain and learn". This year I feel like God's saying "Obtain and don't refrain". I feel like He is saying "STOP putting me in a box. Your curriculum may come in a box but but I DON'T. Go outside the norm and teach these children how to reach for me when they learn how to reach for me that's when they will learn how to reach others with my love."

I LOVE working with children because they teach me so much and come expecting to be taught...WE should go to God that same way. When we come to Him come expecting Him to touch us talk to us hold us CHANGE us HE WILL. We have to be willing to have an expectant heart and mind. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matt 7:8 If we don't ask...if we don't ask with great expectations we are the ones missing out on God's blessings.

Please pray for our ever changing children's ministry at COL. We are growing changing and learning how to reach...to step outside the box and recreate where God has called us to be.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

So much bigger than me

There is a song by Pocket Full of Rocks that has continues to flood my brain. It called Bigger:

I try to put You in my little box. But You keep busting hinges and You keep picking locks. And I see a bigger picture, how small I really am...What's a man to do when he comes face to face with the divine When every part of me wants to run away and hide.

Shawn and I have been trying unsuccessfully now for 112 months to get pregnant. It would be easy to give up or to say that it isn't in "God's plan" for us to have a baby. If I'm being honest I am tempted at times to say that myself. God continues to bust through my box that I continually put him in unknowingly at times. There have been so many things running through my brain the past 10 years while preparing for this child that I know God has promised us, but for some reason I still have this underlying confidence that God really isn't a God that he should lie and that he WILL give me the desires of my heart...just on his time table.

The way God stretches me really hurts sometimes. The 20 year old staying at our house is about 5 months pregnant...She is just starting to show...She has felt the baby for a few weeks now but I am just now able to feel the baby. A single mom of soon to be two little precious gifts from God...I have never wanted to run and hide as much as I do right now. Can't I just run and hide while I wait for His time? Why is my JOB-DAILY JOB- to work with families and children. As much as I LOVE IT...Its hard, but I know that's selfish. I don't know what you thought when you were in first grade and were asked what do you want to be when you grow up but I KNEW I WAS CALLED TO BE A MOMMY. No doubt...in my child like faith I KNEW that's what God created me to be. Sometimes I just kind of find it funny where God places me & who God places in my life. In those times I look around and realize how BIG my God really is.

...Lord I found it quite amazing, somewhat amusing too The way some of us try and put our fences around You. But I'm grateful for Your mercy and for Your patient grace. And to think that You invite me Lord to look upon Your face.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Like mother like daughter...

We are going up on our eighth week of having three girls at our house it amazes me how much my mother comes out in me. Here are jut a few of the many things that are coming out in me...
-WANTING to clean up after all they do but realizing that it is part of their life experience to learn these things.

-Asking question after question to get the whole truth nothing but the truth... PLEASE HELP ME GOD!

-Going to the store for what feels like the millionth time this week spending $100 and feeling like you've got nothing. Not to mention coming home from the store and feeling like its ALL gone in a day. My mom blamed it on the "growing boys". Shawn is my only boy and he's growing alright :)

-Feeling like you say "No" or "May be later" WAY more than you say YES, but wishing you could say yes to everything their hearts desires.

-Trying to finish fixing dinner as fast as you they will quit asking "what are we having for dinner?" or "is dinner ready yet?"

-Asking "Have you done you homework yet?" knowing the answer is NO.

-Feeling like things are never done until all are in bed asleep and prayed for before then you can rest peacefully for the evening before you have to get up in a few hours and do it all over again.

Mom thank for all the things I saw no need for growing up. Thank you for telling me no even when I didn't want to hear it. Thank you for being my mom when it wasn't easy to be my mom. Since I was the last of four with two boys before me I know you must have been worn out! There were so many things that I found so frustrating as a teenager that I said I WOULD NEVER do when I have children. I know these children aren't here for forever but Mom I could have never done this with out YOU! Thank you mom for instilling a Godly foundation in me that will never be destroyed. I love you MOM!






Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Child like faith

Last Easter Shawn leans over to me at church and says...I think that it is time to start looking seriously in to the foster care program. We have both thought it so many times but NEVER at the same time. In fact I remember saying I would love to do that but there is NO WAY that I could. I could NEVER be a foster parent.

I'm not sure how many of you know but about 7 weeks ago Shawn and I have taken into our home a group of "foster children". The reason I use the quotations is because it is not done through the state. These children were just part of a family in our church that was in need and God opened the doors for us to take them in for what in the beginning was three weeks. It has now progressed to July or August. This has been a huge change for both Shawn and I. Personally, I have worked with children in some way shape or fashion both in and out of the ministry since I was 14 but they never lived with me. There have been many challenges and adjustments that we have had to make. First and Fore most...We can't walk around naked anymore... :)

Shawn and I have desired to have our own children for about 9 years now with out success but we have always found joy and love from enjoying our friends children and have always wondered why God had never blessed us with children. It says in Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the disires of your heart...Then why is it time for others to have babies but not us? I have been on my face before God countless times asking and searching for some form of answer. I finally have some form of and answer. Our home is now filled with a musically gifted 20 year old who is preparing to have her second child, a painfully bruised but EXTREMELY talented beautiful 14 year old, and a (now) 4 who is learning new things each day and is always ready to entertain. (In case you were wondering the 20 year old is the mother of the 4 year old.) Their story is INCREDIBLE and honestly wouldn't be surprised if you see it in book form some day.

God has blessed us with children for a season, and continues to AMAZE us with the things that THEY TEACH US!!!! Don't for one minute think that we believe that this is all about US "helping" them. God has done so much in our personal walk with Him. I was talking to the 4 year old on Easter...Bright eyed and full of hope she said, "Kara did you know that Jesus fought a BIG fight with the devil and the devil thought he'd won but then JESUS rose from the dead to win the fight JUST so I could live forever in heaven with HIM!" Yeah I know that but to hear it in those words...so simple...so true...Her faith amazes me.

Thank you God for these blessings no matter how the length of time.

Monday, March 24, 2008

I have to admit...I am a blog virgin...

But not after today! I have read blogs till I have lost track of time. But this is my first time ever writing/doing a blog...not sure if I'll continue but at least I can say that I tried and it either was or wasn't for me. The whole blog thing intimidates me because I've read a lot of yours out there and they are awesome! I am not known for putting my feelings into words or expressing myself in the most eloquent way but I usually have an oppinion about most things. I realize that one of my greatest emotional needs is to be heard. I'm not one to go around and tell everybody what my oppinion is but what I desire is for my oppinion to want to be heard not because I forced it on someone but because it is actually wanted. So the way I think about this is...If someone WANTS to read my blog then great...if not this is purly an avenue for me to release what I am thinking or feeling about a particular issue. No promises that you will receive any WISEdom from reading this blog (lol) but may be this will be yet another way for God to speak to me through what is writen. So let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am a 32 year old wife, friend, sister, daughter and christian education director at our church. I am the youngest of four...born and raised in Tampa Florida...MAN DO I MISS THE BEACH...who currently resides in Bolivar, Ohio with my husband and two beautiful dogs. Getting to Ohio has been a ten year journey that first lead us to Lakeland Florida, Salisbury Maryland, and most recently to Rocky Mount North Carolina. It is awesome to be able to look back and see Gods hand in every place that we've been. There are things that I miss about each place but if I had to chose any place to move back to it would be North Carolina. We moved there knowing NO ONE and moved to Ohio leaving our family and a lot of wondeful memories...here are just a few reasons we love rocky mount...

The Girls enjoying the yard


Webb Man


Shawn and Sarah


Sarah!


Our First House


Blue Teeth Troy

Shawn Squared!






There are so many more but I'll post it another time!!!