Melting

I love having the kids around to talk to and act silly with or just listening to them talk about their dreams, their hopes, their world. The world they are going up in is so much different than the one I grew up in. They are adjusting well and growing rapidly. I know God has great plans for and everyone of them.

The other morning was the first warm (enough) day to wear a dress. As I was loosing my patience as I was loosing the battle in trying to get S(4) ready for school. She was fighting every inch of the way until I brought one of her new dresses out of the closet. She jumped up and started getting undressed because she couldn't WAIT to wear this little sun dress I had picked out for her. I fixed her hair so she could wear it down with just clips in it. As I cleaned the dried tooth paste off her sweet face I couldn't help up smily at this little four year old standing on a step stool beaming at her reflection in the mirror. She said sometime that I hope I never forget. She looked me right in the eyes and said...


"Mommy Tthank you for always making me feel like a Princess. I love you!"

My prayer is that every day she feels like the princess that GOD created her to be. Father, I pray that her self esteem will be rooted and grounded in YOU and what YOU have created her to be. I pray that she will accept Jesus as her Lord and learn to hear YOUR voice at an early age. May her joy continue to overflow as she is filled with the joy that only the Holy Spirit can give. Thank you Father for this gift of your children being in our home. Please help me to grow and change by these experiences.

Obedience vs. Sacrifice

Recently God has brought back to me a prayer that I prayed. I prayed this prayer with all of my heart probably about 8 years ago.

"Dear God, if you could just tell me if Shawn & I will have a baby one day I will be okay with waiting until your timing is right. If this is a desire in my heart that I need to NOT have I want to release it now to You. But if You know that we are going to have a child then show me so I can wait patiently and protect that desire You have placed in my heart."

A while after I prayed that (I can't remember the exact timing of it but it was awhile after) I had a dream. A dream that was so real and so detailed it made my heartache when I awoke.

In this dream I was in a room it was the middle of the night holding this tiny little baby boy. He was just skin and bones and I was trying my hardest to get him to eat. I was praying over him asking God to strengthen him, to nourish, him to protect him. I was praying for knowledge on knowing how to care for this tiny baby. I wasn't even sure WHO he was. I remember being so nervous not knowing what to do.

I looked up and saw this man standing in the door way "Don't be afraid. I was sent here by God to let you know it is all going to be ok."

I said looking down at this little baby boy and asked the man, "Who is this?"

He said, "This is your son that you have prayed for. He will be a world changer one day...in GOD's time not yours."

I looked back down at the baby and said, "I don't even know how to care for him. I'm not even sure if I know his name."

He said, "God will show you how to care for him. His name is Zechariah David."

I looked back up at where the man was standing and he was gone. As I sat there and rocked him and prayed over him I felt peace instead of anxiousness.

The next morning when I woke up and was thinking about this dream. I was thankful for it but wondered if it was just my mind trying to comfort my soul some how. I didn't tell anyone for a while then when I did my friend Sarah told me to look up what those names meant.

Zechariah: The Lord remembers
David: The Beloved one

For years after that dream I prayed and prayed for us to conceive...which I still do...but God has revealed to me that maybe just maybe this "world changer" may come through adoption. I don't pretend to know what God has planned. I am thankful for His promises and I pray that I will obey His every word instead of displaying my sacrifices.

Why He during this season continues to remind me of this dream that happened 7-8 years ago I'm not quite sure but I felt as though I needed to type it out so I will never forget.

The Artist & The Mermaid

Last night in evening church they taught on dreams in the elementary class and how God can use our dreams to speak to us just like He did for Joseph and others in the Bible.

On the way home G(8) says kind of quietly..."I have a dream."

I said "you do??? What about?"

He says, "I have a dream of being an artist when I grow up."

This is the first time he has verbalized that he has seen beyond the moment. I have tried talking about this before and he never would answer or say he just wasn't ever going to grow up.

I said, "WOW an artist is soooo cool! You would be great at that! I am going to keep the stuff that you make/color/draw for when you become famous one day."

As I glanced in the back seat he smiled and looked out the window.

Then S(4) announced, "Mom I know what I want to be when I grow up too!"

I said, "You do? What do you want to be when you grow up?"

She VERY PROUDLY proclaims, "I want to be a mermaid!". She pauses to think for a moment..."or may be a BEAR!" she shouts with excitement.

So for now we are fostering a future ARTIST & a Mermaid...or possibly a Bear.

I love the way kids think!

Amazed

It's been almost 9 weeks and I don't have a long time before I go to bed but just wanted to jot down something...

I am amazed how God continually uses these children to reveal His love to me. Daily. I love teaching them about their CREATOR.

I love the way they love my husband. I love bedtime. I love the stillness before the storm (5:15am - 6:25am) I love their laughter. I love kissing their tears. I love laughing with them. I love seeing them succeed. Even as little as the baby walking up and down the stairs without holding my hand and at the bottom he shouts "I DID IT!"

I love the hugs. I love hearing them sing HE IS ALIVE! HE IS ALIVE! WE ARE FREE!!! I love holding them when they fall asleep on me. But most of all I love KNOWING that no matter what the seeds that God is using me to plant NO ONE NO ONE NO ONE can take way!!! They WILL produce fruit! I know it!

I don't know what my life would be like with them...

I am reminded of a quote by Dr. Seuss...Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

Today was a good day...I hope I always remember. God? Did you take pictures for my scrap book up in my "heaven house"?

Tonight as I finish this glass of wine in the peace and quite of my home I am thankful that God is using me faults and all.