Radically...Irrevocably...Persistently

We can only desire what you can imagine.

Our church needs to be RIPPED wide open...

RIP

My desire isn’t just to RIP (rest in peace)
My desire is for God to RIP this church WIDE open…
I want our children to RIP their generation…

Radically sold out to Christ
Irrevocably devoted to each other.
Persistently committed to reaching the lost.

We have a choice to Rest In Peace or to Allow God to RIP us wide open and create us who he wants us to be.

We were asked to do just TWO things...Love the Lord with ALL our heart mind body & soul...and...to love our neighbor as ourselves. That's all we have to focus on...

Father, help me be more of an equipper and less of a doer. Give me the strength to trust in you fully. Help me to build others rather than seeing them as a tool to build my own ministry. Father in this "fatherless" world my hearts desire Lord is to be RADICALLY sold out to YOU! To be irrevocably devoted to each other and to be PERSISTENTLY committed to reaching those who don't know you. Father, help me be a cheerleader to my team and to be bold the way Jesus was when I ask people to serve. Remind me to laugh and to rest. Help me Father devote the resources that you provide me to develop others. Father, help me forgive myself for my shortcomings this past year. In 2012 I will remember the 1 thing that is important…YOU!

Far From Perfect

My desire is not to be perfect by any means. There is this fire burning deep with in...this holy discontent...my hearts desire is to be:

Passionate...about what He has called me to

Persistent...not giving, more than just ok

Pursuing...Him with all my heart mind strength and soul

Patient...waiting on Lord...I am hopeful though it is painful patiently, I will wait.

Take delight in the LORD,and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this. Psalms 37:4-6

Today...

Today is one of "those" days. One of those days that has been a struggle & a blessing. One of those days where I wanted to stay in bed and cover my head and not come up for a few days. One of those days where I'm excited about things but so scared of what tomorrow might hold. One of those days were I pray for the children's family with hope that justice for their sake is served and that lifes will begin to be changed for the positive. One of those days when you don't know exactly HOW to pray.

Father I thank you today for all your blessings. I pray that you show me what satan doesn't want me to see. Show me how YOU see me. Show me what is for now & what is for later. Show me how to prepare for the harvest that is coming. Give me your heart to love, your eyes to see, your ears to hear you crystal clear, your hands to touch, your feet to go, and your mouth to speak your words. Help me to be who you have created me to be. I love you.

Philippians 4:13

What does
~six kids (ages 1,2,4,4,6,8)
~103.8 fever
~the monday AFTER VBS
~Strep Thoat
~flooded basement
~HORRIBLE Strep rash on the BACK of my neck
~husband working late (again for the 5th night in a row)

ALL have in common???

Not a VERY good Monday!

It's days like this that I am glad I have scriptures hidden in my heart! :)

In the beginning...

In the beginning my plan was to blog everyday so I wouldn't forget a moment of how they make me feel...how my husband stepped into fatherhood...how I adjusted to motherhood...how they grow...the cute things they do...the frustrations of being a foster parent...the joys of finally getting to feel a little bit of what it was like to be a mommy...how God is working through them to change & mold me. But then it happened...the unthinkable...something that you can never fully prepare for...

L.I.F.E.

That's right. Life. Crazy but it's true. My life over the past few months has been consumed everything and more of what I mentioned about but also I have had 2 summer camps and in the middle of what is turning out to be the BEST VBS YET!

Shawn came once again to pick up the kids from VBS and put them to bed. Since I'm in charge I have to be there until the last person leaves & that can make for a late night for these babies. (Shawn has been an AMAZING help during the busiest month of my year.) When I came home tonight I heard the VBS music playing from G's bedroom. I was tucking them in & kissing them good night & the words just really struck me as I looked at these 3 beautiful children...

It seems like there’s so much to hope for
So many dreams, I wish they all could come true
When I think about your ways, Lord
It gives me so much faith in all that you do
Faith to see beyond what I can see
Faith to know that you will do great things
I will trust you Lord, I’ll always believe
As I hold on to my faith
Jesus, you are holding on to me.

Father I pray that you fill there hearts with dreams that can not be squelched. Please give them the faith to see beyond they could possibly see...Father give them the strength to know that they will do GREAT things...that you have BIG plans for them...Give them Godly confidence, wisdom, & grace. Forgive me Father for not being the mother that they need at all times. Thank you for loving & giving me the opportunity to love these children.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Camp 2011

REMAIN: to be a part not destroyed,
to continue unchanged
Continue to exist


I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:1-14

Camp begins today...I have two weeks of camp where I am "in charge" of nothing but hold ultimate responsibility...This week we will be learning what it means to be a STRETCHER BEARER.

Mark 2:1-12 A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”

Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”

Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, “Why are you thinking these things? Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins…” He said to the paralytic, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this!”


Father, I come to you today, Father's Day, thanking you for being such an AMAZING Father...asking you for so much. We need Your Divine protection this week for each and every child & leader that walks out onto your camp. Father I ask that you guide & direct our every word our every step our every thought. Show me what satan doesn't want me to see. Remind me daily how YOU see me. Father give me wisdom to know what is for now and what is for later. Show me how to prepare for the harvest which has been promised to us. I pray for WONDERS SIGNS and MIRACLES this week that are beyond our wildest comprehension. Praying that Every leader will be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19) Father I beg of You to let EVERY word that comes fourth from my mouth be PLEASING to you and let every meditation of my heart be acceptable to You. I pray this all in Your sons holy name & may you receive all GLORY HORNOR & PRAISE!

Melting

I love having the kids around to talk to and act silly with or just listening to them talk about their dreams, their hopes, their world. The world they are going up in is so much different than the one I grew up in. They are adjusting well and growing rapidly. I know God has great plans for and everyone of them.

The other morning was the first warm (enough) day to wear a dress. As I was loosing my patience as I was loosing the battle in trying to get S(4) ready for school. She was fighting every inch of the way until I brought one of her new dresses out of the closet. She jumped up and started getting undressed because she couldn't WAIT to wear this little sun dress I had picked out for her. I fixed her hair so she could wear it down with just clips in it. As I cleaned the dried tooth paste off her sweet face I couldn't help up smily at this little four year old standing on a step stool beaming at her reflection in the mirror. She said sometime that I hope I never forget. She looked me right in the eyes and said...


"Mommy Tthank you for always making me feel like a Princess. I love you!"

My prayer is that every day she feels like the princess that GOD created her to be. Father, I pray that her self esteem will be rooted and grounded in YOU and what YOU have created her to be. I pray that she will accept Jesus as her Lord and learn to hear YOUR voice at an early age. May her joy continue to overflow as she is filled with the joy that only the Holy Spirit can give. Thank you Father for this gift of your children being in our home. Please help me to grow and change by these experiences.

Obedience vs. Sacrifice

Recently God has brought back to me a prayer that I prayed. I prayed this prayer with all of my heart probably about 8 years ago.

"Dear God, if you could just tell me if Shawn & I will have a baby one day I will be okay with waiting until your timing is right. If this is a desire in my heart that I need to NOT have I want to release it now to You. But if You know that we are going to have a child then show me so I can wait patiently and protect that desire You have placed in my heart."

A while after I prayed that (I can't remember the exact timing of it but it was awhile after) I had a dream. A dream that was so real and so detailed it made my heartache when I awoke.

In this dream I was in a room it was the middle of the night holding this tiny little baby boy. He was just skin and bones and I was trying my hardest to get him to eat. I was praying over him asking God to strengthen him, to nourish, him to protect him. I was praying for knowledge on knowing how to care for this tiny baby. I wasn't even sure WHO he was. I remember being so nervous not knowing what to do.

I looked up and saw this man standing in the door way "Don't be afraid. I was sent here by God to let you know it is all going to be ok."

I said looking down at this little baby boy and asked the man, "Who is this?"

He said, "This is your son that you have prayed for. He will be a world changer one day...in GOD's time not yours."

I looked back down at the baby and said, "I don't even know how to care for him. I'm not even sure if I know his name."

He said, "God will show you how to care for him. His name is Zechariah David."

I looked back up at where the man was standing and he was gone. As I sat there and rocked him and prayed over him I felt peace instead of anxiousness.

The next morning when I woke up and was thinking about this dream. I was thankful for it but wondered if it was just my mind trying to comfort my soul some how. I didn't tell anyone for a while then when I did my friend Sarah told me to look up what those names meant.

Zechariah: The Lord remembers
David: The Beloved one

For years after that dream I prayed and prayed for us to conceive...which I still do...but God has revealed to me that maybe just maybe this "world changer" may come through adoption. I don't pretend to know what God has planned. I am thankful for His promises and I pray that I will obey His every word instead of displaying my sacrifices.

Why He during this season continues to remind me of this dream that happened 7-8 years ago I'm not quite sure but I felt as though I needed to type it out so I will never forget.

The Artist & The Mermaid

Last night in evening church they taught on dreams in the elementary class and how God can use our dreams to speak to us just like He did for Joseph and others in the Bible.

On the way home G(8) says kind of quietly..."I have a dream."

I said "you do??? What about?"

He says, "I have a dream of being an artist when I grow up."

This is the first time he has verbalized that he has seen beyond the moment. I have tried talking about this before and he never would answer or say he just wasn't ever going to grow up.

I said, "WOW an artist is soooo cool! You would be great at that! I am going to keep the stuff that you make/color/draw for when you become famous one day."

As I glanced in the back seat he smiled and looked out the window.

Then S(4) announced, "Mom I know what I want to be when I grow up too!"

I said, "You do? What do you want to be when you grow up?"

She VERY PROUDLY proclaims, "I want to be a mermaid!". She pauses to think for a moment..."or may be a BEAR!" she shouts with excitement.

So for now we are fostering a future ARTIST & a Mermaid...or possibly a Bear.

I love the way kids think!

Amazed

It's been almost 9 weeks and I don't have a long time before I go to bed but just wanted to jot down something...

I am amazed how God continually uses these children to reveal His love to me. Daily. I love teaching them about their CREATOR.

I love the way they love my husband. I love bedtime. I love the stillness before the storm (5:15am - 6:25am) I love their laughter. I love kissing their tears. I love laughing with them. I love seeing them succeed. Even as little as the baby walking up and down the stairs without holding my hand and at the bottom he shouts "I DID IT!"

I love the hugs. I love hearing them sing HE IS ALIVE! HE IS ALIVE! WE ARE FREE!!! I love holding them when they fall asleep on me. But most of all I love KNOWING that no matter what the seeds that God is using me to plant NO ONE NO ONE NO ONE can take way!!! They WILL produce fruit! I know it!

I don't know what my life would be like with them...

I am reminded of a quote by Dr. Seuss...Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

Today was a good day...I hope I always remember. God? Did you take pictures for my scrap book up in my "heaven house"?

Tonight as I finish this glass of wine in the peace and quite of my home I am thankful that God is using me faults and all.

I can't help but wonder...

The past 12 days have been a complete roller coaster. I want to document as much as I can because I know this isn't going to last forever. I remember the anticipation of Shawn & I as we were expecting them at 5 but they didn't show till 6. The dogs were outside with their bones. The house was vacuumed. The beds were made. Dinner was on the stove. We were ready...as we could be.

It made me happy to see Shawn sitting on the front steps as they pulled in the drive. I was scared to walk out the door. We sat down and wrote out questions to ask. Didn't realize that nothing else was going to mattered that evening.

Then the first few minutes after they walked in...showing them around...hearing S(4) answer "I Know!" to everything that I showed her. Watching G(just turned 8 a few days before) flip and flop all over his bed, EXCITED (for the moment) to have his own bed. Then there was little L(1) holding so tightly to the case workers shirt but asking for a banana.

They were so hungry, excited, scared, dirty, sick, ready, misunderstood, sad, covered, lonely, loving, talkitive.

The first night they slept...I slept...Shawn always sleeps...

My # 1 surprise that first night...not EVERY child likes spaghetti

Mile Marker of today...We brushed teeth this morning with out tears.

Fact about parenthood I'm realizing...I need a bigger car & purse...

One of my favorite things...Listening to them laugh!

My prayer for today...Father help each pecious child to learn to trust YOU early on & to remain faithfully commited to Your ways throughout their lives.

I can't help but wonder why God chose us to be blessed by these children. I can't help but wonder how long we will be in their lives.

I know it's only day 12...but I will be sad if/when they leave.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to PROSPER you and NOT TO harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE. Jeremiah 29:11

Thankful for that promise :)

In So Deep

I love it when God knows what you need before you need it...Don't know why that continues to surprise me. Two Sunday's ago I had someone come up to me and ask if I knew anyone who wanted a free set of bunk beds. I explained to them that we had just been approved to be foster parents. Someone also gave us a toddler bed.

We got a call Thursday March 17...the second one since we were approved. We agreed this time. We are now fostering three children. It's been a week and we are finally starting to find out groove. They are 8(boy)4(girl)& 1 (boy) and working toward reunification with their birth family. I can't post names but may post pictures from time to time..well see...

I've learned so much so far. For now nap time if offically over & I am off to pick up one from school!

Amazed by how my life has changed in one week. Excited to see what the future. Thanking God that everyday is a new adventure.

It Is Finished...well not really...

It's been a long road filled with many potholes, twists, turns, and even dirt paths. But when I say It Is Finished what my heart knows is This is only the beginning of a new chapter.

Shawn & I were approved to be foster/adoptive parents the beginning of this month. It's scary I have to admit. In doing this I realize I will have no control on when we are called in to action, I will have to be so fervently seeking God's voice, the Holy Spirits prompting, & following Jesus' actions even more now than before. I probably have more reservations than Shawn. My life's work is wrapped around ministering to others.

I don't know how I will do this...emotionally.
I'm not sure if my life will ever be the same since "our" other kids went back home. Don't know how we'll handle it if/when kids come and go from our house.
I don't know how OUR relationship will change.
I'm not sure if I will be able to handle the pressure.

I do know that I/We feel called to do this. Called to give a piece of my heart to those who may never have know God's love.

What I do know that 2 Timothy 4:2 has a WHOLE new meaning to me.

What I do know is that I serve a God who performs miracles and displays HIS power among his people.

What I do know is that His plans for me give me HOPE.

What I do know is that by doing this my tent pegs...OUR tent pegs have been enlarged!! And I WILL NOT be afraid.

What I do know is that God gave me 10 fingers for a reason...

These are the promises that I will come back to on days when I'm not sure how I will get through. I am so thankful for the opportunities He will bring our way.

ON YOUR MARK...GET SET...GO!!!

My Prayer Today...

Father I ask you totally & absolutely set my heart on fire for you! Ignite my heart with passion that consumes me so great that merely settling or maintaining isn’t fulfilling enough for me. Father I don’t want to just make a living to be ok but I desire to fulfill my passion/calling & make a difference for your Kingdom.

Father I ask you to give me the guts to choose to lead out of CONVICTION of the Holy Spirit rather than the CONVENIENCE of doing what is easy. Help me to ALWAYS do what is right even when it’s not easy.

Father God I ask you to allow me to see people the way YOU sees people. Give me YOUR eyes to see your people. Help me to take “church/world colored glasses” off and begin to see the world the way YOU sees it…Change my view! Comfort my heart as with grace and mercy as I see their pain.

Father thank you for reminding me that I don’t have all the answers and I don't have to have all the answer. Only YOU are God…I am not. It takes a great deal of faith to believe that I can do EXACTLY what you have called me to do. In this time, in this place, for this season. Your words will NOT return void.

Father I ask you to remind me that I am not out to win anyone’s approval but yours! Not everyone has to understand me or like me or be on serve in my area of ministry. Father remind me daily of Galatians 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Father continue to give me the courage to PRAY BOLD PRAYERS for me, for my family, for our church! Help me to pray daily sun stand still prayers like Joshua…Father I pray for safety in my family, my home, my church. Father I BEG for things to happen in my life in my family in my church that is UNEXPLAINABLE and UNDENIABLE so that YOU and only YOU can receive ALL the glory ALL the honor and ALL the praise.

Father I ask that You help me to stop trying to be who and what everyone else wants me to be and be who YOU have called me to be…allow this ministry to be a result of responding Your REVELATION and not the IMITATION of others!!!

Enlarge my tent pegs Father...Thank you Father for pruning me, growing in me & for loving me in spite of my shortcomings. I love you so!

This year holds so many promises. Just like each new day does. I am not exactly sure where to start.

This year has started out a little differently...We still had our same New Years Eve Bash at our house with our friends. My mom was there this time. She has recently retired so she spent the holidays up here with us. We had a white Christmas and a warm New Years. It has been fun reminiscing with her about my childhood...learning about her childhood...planning for a different future than what either one of us expected.

We are now in the second week of January 2011...WOW...tonight I finish up adoption classes. I can't help but wonder what God has in store for us. Honestly I have to admit I am a little scared...The not knowing, the fear of making a wrong move, what seems like never ending anticipation.

You are the God who performs miracles; YOU display your power among the people. Psalm 77:14

I don't usually start out the year anxious (not sure if that's the right word)...but this year I have...I don't particularly care for that...I feel like I don't know how to move forward. As if I have already used up all my Faith & Hope and have seen no change. Do I just need to have more patience? or am I just too scared of failing...If I am just too scared of failing that means I don't have the faith I profess to have. or am I just too selfish to fail for God.

The beginning of the year I am usually filled with HUGE hopes, desires, excitement, and anticipation of what God can and will do in the up coming year. In my, life in my husbands, life in the life of the church. Father forgive me of my selfishness, vain ambition, any foolish thing my heart holds.

As 2010 came to a close I feel the Lord stirred up this verse in my spirit...

Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do NOT hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities. Do NOT be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do NOT fear disgrace; you will NOT be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the *reproach of your widowhood (*the dissatisfaction/disappointment of the things that died to you). Isaiah 54:2-4

2010 was filled with extreme emotion...I don't know if I have ever been more thankful for a year to be over with before in my life. 2011 is filled with anticipation. I know my faith will be tested, strengthen, and blessed. I have a mustard seed of excitement of what is to come. Praying it grows stronger as the days go by. Rooted by the still quiet waters of His presence and surrounded by the quiet whisper of His voice.

I read a new blog this morning and she put it perfectly…
I can’t stop change from coming. I cannot. But I can choose to remember that He holds my ever-changing life in His never-changing hand. –Alece Ronzino

Praying in each new day that I will always remember YOU my loving Father hold me, your daughter's, ever changing life in the hand that has NOT changed since before there was time.

Leaning

I believe God spoke something to me today. I find it interesting how I when I misread something so many times God chooses to reveal things to me through it.

What was written was "We will always maintain a posture of learning"

What I read was "Always maintain a posture of leaning"

I thought LEANING what does that mean? Why would you maintain a posture of LEANING?? So quickly I felt the Holy Spirit say "Lean back in to God presence and lean forward in faith in to the vision I am creating in you and where I am taking you."

When I thought about the word leaning I was reminded of my dad.

Leaning back into my dad's chest as we sat and watch tv...feeling his warmth.
Leaning back and forth as I danced on my dad's feet around the kitchen...feeling his joy that I was his daughter.
Leaning forward as I jumped off the side of the pool...feeling confident that he was going to catch me.

This year I pray I MAINTAIN a posture of leaning Father into YOU in faith that YOU are my shepherd...willing to do what ever it takes to love me, save me, protect me, grow me.


Leaning...what an amazing position of faith...

Christmas 2010

Christmas 2010 was different than so many in the past. Well at least the past 6 years. My father past away on December 20 2003. I had just come down on the 18th to spend my sister's birthday with her and for the 1st time in 7 years spend Christmas with MY side of the family. I was so excited. After my dad past away suddenly it kind of changed Christmas for us.

This year I have say my FAVORITE Christmas present God gave me was JOY! I really enjoyed this Christmas season. I baked for the first time since 2003...not a lot but I did it! I listened to Christmas music by myself and didn't cry. I enjoyed shopping, giving gifts, and receiving gifts. My mom was here from Florida and we had friends over and just enjoyed each other. It was also my 1st WHITE Christmas. To wake up Christmas morning with my mom there and for the trees & ground to be covered with snow was just beautiful! I felt like HE did that just for me...to top off my Christmas.

My husband surprised me with a brand new wedding set. White gold like I wanted when we 1st got married. Princess cut like I wanted when we 1st got married. It truly made me feel like a princess.

Thank you Lord for the gift of Joy. The unspeakable Joy that has been lost in my life during this time of year for the past 6 years. The joy that Mary must have had after giving birth to the world changer. You are truly a Father of restoration. I am excited to see where you will have us go in the up coming year. Father I ask that you will comfort those who were unable to have the joy that Christmas brings this holiday season. Please continue to stir our hearts for you.

Christmas Fun!

Get in to the Christmas Spirit! You will never have Christmas 2010 AGAIN! :)

Merry Christmas!

10~10~10

What a cool day!!!

What does the number 10 mean in the Bible? Completeness in divine order or completed course of time. There's nothing that is left wanting within the complete cycle the number ten just completed. There are 10 "I AM"'s spoken by Jesus

10-10-10 Happy Full Power Exponential Day!! 10,000,000,000% what ever that means! The Lord is blessing you exponentially today, pray for it, receive it. Praying God rains down His Blessings over you and your family today and for YEARS to come!!!

Be expecting a great day!

Hey Pot...

Has God ever looked at you and said...Hey POT!! This is Kettle YOU'RE BLACK!!!

Don't you hate it when you get frustrated with something or someone and just when you think you are justified in your frustration and have it all planned out what you are going to say when asked what's wrong...God points out how you do that exact frustrating thing to Him each day but He still chooses to love you.

That's what happened to me last night.

My husband has been struggling with something’s lately and having difficulty expressing those feelings into words. I felt as though I had given him grace and was ready to put my foot down with what he did last night. He chooses a work dinner over going to a prayer meeting at church with me! I know what you’re thinking...he's a sinner!

Well I was ticked when he called and told me that he was going to a dinner meeting for work. So I acted like a "loving mature" wife and told him have fun and hung up the phone on him and ignored his phone calls when he tried to call me back.

Throughout the evening I was trying to figure out why that bothered me so bad. He's gone to dinner meetings all the time. He's missed church functions to go out on dinner meetings with work before. All that I felt were justified...then it hit me. He CHOOSES feeding himself physically over feeding himself spiritually. In my mind he chooses the world over God.

In my self righteousness I was so frustrated and angry how could he do that! LOOK at all God has done for him and he'd choose DINNER with work people over GOD??? That has to be something wrong with him. I admit so many things that went through my mind were extremely hypocritical.

Then God, my sweet & loving Father, so softly reminded me...You do that to me all the time...except "your work" is at a church. So many times you are too busy "doing" instead of just "being". I made you a human being NOT a human doing. How many times have you chosen work over time with me...just TODAY?

Before I worked in the ministry I use to be perfectly content to be a Mary...How, when, why have I changed in to a Martha?

Why have I become worried and distracted by so many things?
Why have do I feel like I am doing all the work?
Why do I wonder if Jesus even really hears me?
Why do I find myself talking AT God instead of listening to Him?
Why am I making excuses for what God's asking me to do?
Why am I still in the kitchen while others are lavishing worship on God?

Those are questions that I need to continually ask myself to make sure I am where I need to be. When you read them...what are your answers?

Father, please forgive me for being too distracted by “my work” to hear or love on you. Father forgive for my self-righteous attitude towards my husband. Thank you for loving whether I am a Martha or a Mary. Thank you Father so gently and lovingly pointing out areas in which you want me to grow & change. Thank you for your grace & mercy. Please help me to show others, especially my husband, that same grace & mercy when I feel hurt or wounded. You are an amazing loving Father & I am so thankful to be called your daughter!

Blessed Assurance

*This really long post is for me...So I remember and do not forget how BIG how WIDE how GREAT my GOD my FATHER is when HIS promises to me come to pass.

I LOVE old hymns...It reminds me of my grandmother & my mom...my heritage of which I'm so thankful of.

I have been struggling with the fact that I am still at 35 years old not a mom. It is not just from fertility issues, I believe that I have been healed of that, so says my last Drs visit, but also from other issues that are out of my control.

Controlling person??? Definitely NOT how I saw myself...more so if I needed to take control over something I could but I don't HAVE to have control over everything. I know God is in control of my life. Honestly I don't want His seat. Until it came to the whole baby/mom/being fruitful and increasing in number thing…

A few months ago someone said to me that broke my heart, “Maybe you should let go of the dream of being a mom and focus on what else God has in store for you.”

Those words have been floating around in my heart and in my head ever since.

I tried letting go like this woman suggested. I tried holding on tighter in spite of what she said. I’ve wept…I’ve prayed…And finally said...

Leading up to this weekend I'd been praying again asking/begging/pleading God to either release me, complete release, from my desire to be a mom, to have a baby or reassure me of His promises. And that they are truly HIS promises not my imagination or selfish desires.

Sunday morning I walked in to my office between services and there was this lady in there that has been praying for Shawn & I & our children. She kind of makes me uncomfortable sometimes.

#1 because she didn't like me when I first started working at the church she said some really mean & hurtful things to me. But I handled it differently then she had ever been treated before and she ended up liking me and hearing my hearts desire for the ministry here.

#2 because she asks me often if I'm pregnant and I feel bad that she keeps praying and believing but I am still not pregnant.

Well on Sunday she asked me if there was any news on the baby front I said no. She said, with tears in her eyes, “Kara I believe it in my spirit I know you will be pregnant soon. God has shown me time and time again your pregnant belly and your child. Yes you will adopt but you will have a baby.”

To which I responded trying to disguised uncomfortableness “I am believing for a child I know HE will provide in His perfect time.” Which I truly am honestly didn't even think of it as conformation until that afternoon.
I was in such firefighter mode I didn't even think about it again until my IM conversation with one of my friends that after noon. I am so thankful that she is sensitive to His Spirit.

The conversation started with “Would you like to know why God is called Jehovah Rophe?”

To which I responded, “Why?”

She proceeded to tell me of a story of a lady, her pastors wife, who has been married for a while unable to have children so they adopted. She has been on birth control for the past 2 years went off of it in July and just found out last week that she is pregnant.

Jehovah Rophe~ GOD who HEALS

She said “It made me think of you Kara...I want you to know, that God is still in the miracle business and don't give up. I don't know if you needed to hear that right now, but I think He wants you to know that He still holds your dreams in His hands, and that you aren't forgotten. I just think you need to hold onto what you know He's spoken to you and He'll take care of the rest.”

That afternoon as I am driving back to church I was thinking of the two instance of confirmation that day and my humanness say... “God you usually confirm things with me 3 different ways...that’s only two so maybe you don't really mean it. Maybe it's just my selfish desires.”

Yes I know what you’re thinking...I do have a very hard head. It amazes me how easily we allow doubt to creep in.

At staff meeting Tuesday where we were talking about this speaker we had on Sunday. He was one of those speakers that you’re listening along and then realize you don't have a pen and paper & you need one desperately because everything he's saying is about ready to make you jump out of your skin.

I am listening to a cd of Sundays message (this past Sunday's the day of 2 confirmations not 3…or so I thought) and he is talking about God's promises about being the type of person that is following what God is asking you to do because you trust God as your leader. He's putting on a personal level and then extending it to the church then to the body of Christ. Basically confirming EVERYTHING that God had been dealing with me on #1 for me personally #2 to say to the 85 volunteers in our children's ministry at our training meeting & #3 to the church body. (Which I am totally terrified about)

Then as if He hasn't been tugging on my spirit about plea of confirmation or release and what I said about the fact that I only saw two confirmations on Sunday. The speaker ends this message with this last statement...

"Elijah is God's promise.”
“God's word is never late.”
“His promises, what God has promised YOU, is real and ready and is true TODAY.”

Thank you Father for confirmation. I ask You to remove the doubt place in my heart and my mind by well meaning people who don’t realize when they say things that hurt. I ask that You remove any offensive spirit that I might have because of the hurt. Thank You for Your willingness to confirm things in 3 ways for no other reason than You love me. Thank You for the promises of what it says in Psalm 77:14 that YOU are the God who performs miracles that You display your power among the people. I thank You that Your promises are real that You are still the same God that is/was/continue to be in Numbers 23:19 God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? Thank You for what You do in me. ~Amen

Who Are You?

I felt I had to repost this...posting just the link for you to go read wasn't enough...you may not go. It's important that you read each and every line. The promises are far better than the lies that we tell ourselves. We are God's child...not the worlds.


You are not your past
You are not your failures
You are not your parents
You are not your sister
You are not your regrets
You are not your sin
You are not your weight
You are not your divorce
You are not your unemployment
You are not the choices someone else made for you
You are not your brokenness
You are not your bitterness
You are not your abuse
You are not your loneliness
You are not your marital status
You are not your tax bracket
You are not your crisis

This is who YOU are:
You are loved

You are forgiven

You are redeemed

You are destined

You are set apart

You are a new creation

You are valued

You are gifted

You are chosen

You are prized

You are reconciled

You are called

You are noticed

You are pursued

You are a child of The King

You are a co-heir with Christ

You are a royal priesthood

You are adored, cherished and treasured by the God of this universe.

When you choose to stop living out who you are not and you start to live in who you are…

It changes everything.

I found this today on RefineUs blog. This is an amazing husband and wife pastor team that have been through a lot and are willing to allow God to work in them as well as through them.

So thankful for their encouraging words.

Just Because

I love it when my husband answers my calls...

EVEN when he's at work

EVEN when he's with someone

EVEN when he's busy

Just beacuse it's me.

I love it when he does the little things that remind me that next to God I am #1

Crazy Love

I have been reading a book by Francis Chan called Crazy Love. I continues to amaze me...I am enjoying this book but I have to be honest it's kind of hard for me to get through.

Crazy, Relentless, ALL-POWERFUL Love.

It's hard to take in sometimes. Have you ever felt love like that? Many times, for me, it's about have I allowed God to love me like that or am I attempting to protect myself for the one who loves me more than anyone ever could? I have been brought to this passage of scripture this week John 13:1-17.

It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.

The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"

Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." "No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet." Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."

"Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!"

Jesus answered, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you." For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.

When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”

As I've these verses twice a day for the past few days I am constantly reminded about Matthew 20:28

"just as the Son of Man did not come to BE served, but TO serve, and to give HIS life as a ransom for many."

To me...that's crazy love...

10 Things I learned at the Beach

I love the beach! Never knew what I had when I lived in Tampa for 21 years or so close to Ocean City for 5. Then we moved to NC which was only 3 hours away from the beach, still with in a short drive. Ohio...if I think about it long enough I honestly think I could have a panic attack because of the lack of an ocean. Don't get me wrong...there are many thinks I like about Ohio. We have 4 REAL LIVE seasons. Grant it winter seems to be the longest.

This year Shawn and I went on our vacation with our friends The Johnson's! We had a BLAST!!! On Monday before we left Hurricane Earl was scheduled to hit North Topsail Beach, NC on Thursday night into Friday morning. That was the day we were heading down there. We started praying! I have been praying for this vacation for over a year there was no way any hurricane was going to steal our joy!

We left on schedule and so Earl. He ended up hitting north of where we were. THANK YOU JESUS!! It was sunny from the day we arrived to the day we left! B-E-A-utiful!!! While we were there enjoying God's wonderful creation I really felt like He was trying to show me somethings a little differently than He normally does.

You see I usually go on vacation with an agenda of what I want to accomplish work wise...you know to get ahead, get inspired, set goals, blah blah blah. Ticks my husband off sometimes. He goes and turns off his phone...I haven't gotten there yet. Although I did leave it in the condo most days when I set out at the beach! BABY STEPS!!! :)

So the whole reason for this post...The 10 things I learned with my butt in the sand!

10. Butterflies are even more beautiful at the beach. They were everywhere this week! I loved it!

9. Sometimes waves are going to knock you down and it's ok to laugh at the fact they did.

8. When you ask God to show you something incredible take time to look away from where your walking to enjoy how magnificent He truly is!

7. Pebbles all over the beach are just as cool as sea shells.

6. 3 year olds bring an amazing view of the beach...you gotta love the "scuobberdivers"

5. Seafood is waaaaaayyyy better at the beach than OHIO!!!!

4. Resting is an important part of any healthy person...even God...what did He do again on the 7th day?? It's ok to do nothing even if you are at the beach.

3. Laughter is essential! Memories are to be cherished. Friends are forever awe-inspiring!

2. My husband loves me more than I know but God loves me more.

1. Go places expecting God to roll out the red carpet for you. Your His son/daughter...He loves to love on you. He WANTS to.

Things were different this year for vacation...I liked it...

~Our New Addition~Our Nephew~

Josiah Kaleo Mitchell

September 11, 2010

6 pounds 12 ounces 2:13PM

Snuggle Up with Failure...Really?

Can't believe that I haven't posted since Christmas...Doesn't mean I haven't started 10-20 blogs just haven't posted any. I've had a ton going on but just as my husband says excusses are excusses...might as well say we don't have any peanut butter in the house. Let's just clear the air right now...no baby news so if that's what your hear for than you can stop reading now. :)

How many of you reading this LIKE failure? Me neither...After reading this I am desiring to look at it in a different light. Just wanted to pass on an artical that I read today that I found had a lot of nuggets of wisdom in it. Hope you enjoy! Would love to know your thoughts on this...

Snuggle up with Failure

Christmas Past

I am an extremely sentimental person. I have confetti from the 1st night that Shawn & I met. I treasure the small things that people do for me. Our Christmas tree has a lot of ornaments on it that were made by a child or by me as a child. I wish I had some from when Shawn was little but I think they did their tree different from how mine was done growing up.


Christmas has always meant so much to me. It was a time of year when we as a family were all together. We went to church on Wednesday for Advent then Christmas Eve then again on Christmas morning, & Sunday. Some years that was 4 times in one week! That was a lot of sitting still for a family with four kids.


I loved the fact that we went to church on Christmas morning. I still miss it...We would get up and open our stockings and eat a sugar coated breakfast...Usually Monkey Bread and orange juice. Get dressed and go to church. The entire service was filled with Christmas Carols and the story that we new by heart. The CHRISTmas Story! As we sat there and celebrated the anticipation of what was still under our tree at home was almost more than this little girl could take.


Once we got home my mom took pictures in front of the Christmas tree and then got changed into our "present opening clothes" while my mom pulled out allllllll kinds of finger food. Some years it was turkey other times it was ham for small roll sandwiches and then there was a ton of other stuff. We never had a big family meal on Christmas just a hours of uninterrupted family time!


We would all get a plate of food and then pick a spot to open our gifts. Then either my brother or I would pass out the gifts to each person. My Dad would pull out the trash bag and his pocket knife so he would be ready. My Mom had worked so hard at making each year a Christmas that we would never forget she wasn't going to miss a minute of anyone opening a gift so we went one by one opening one gift at a time. One year we would start at the oldest and work our way down then the next year we started at the youngest and went up. It made Christmas last FOREVER!!!


We would put our try on our clothes, toys together and play all afternoon. Friends of the family would come over in the afternoon...rarely did we leave the house to go anywhere on Christmas except to Church.


I feel so blessed to have such wonderful memories of Christmas. I am so thankful that my mom made such an effort to bless us not with gifts but with the GIFT. We did receive gifts but I remember her saying as my brother, each year, would try to persadue her to let us open gifts BEFORE church...


"You can't open up your gifts until until we celebrate THE GIFT."











Thanks mom for always showing us what the TRUE meaning of CHRISTmas was!





“And Mary said: ‘My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.’”
Luke 1:46&47

Just a little something funny

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Evening massage - 6 p.m.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"

Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett

Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"

On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.

Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Just a little something that made me smile so I thought I'd share. I know I haven't posted anything in awhile...I am still alive...That's a good thing I guess. Praying each and every person out there is having a blessed Christmas season!

He Loves Me

Didn't ever intend to have this blog be a place to post my Youtube findings. It continues to amaze me how many way God speaks to me. Through His Word, Sometimes through friends, but I love it when He uses music. Just reading words or closing my eyes and picturing what just me & Him. He loves us...a love that is so real so true so indescribable at times.

Take a listen. Have you heard this song before? I can't stop listening to it.

Lately my posts have been kind of surface. I have had so many emotions running through my body. And honestly not knowing which way is up. Trying desperately just to stay focused Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Honestly barely having time to sit pray soak in God's presence. Not because I don't want to...I desire to...I crave it...but then on the same hand scared to. I wonder why. Like I said I want it, desire it, crave it. So then why in the world wouldn't I do whatever it takes to get it? I am praying for answers.

On the baby front...Shawn & I haven't talked about it since probably June. I keep saying come January we'll make a decision. Only God knows what'll happen. Adoption is never off the table, but the $$$$ to pay for it isn't in the bank either. My ultimate desire is to be a mom. That's what I have always wanted. I KNOW Shawn would make a great Dad too. We'll see...seems for now I have lots of other peoples kids to help care for and I am only getting older by the day.

Good news my Mom came up from Florida for a visit for about 10 days. It was a blast! I miss her. Praying she retires soon and moves up here for at least 6 months out of the year. Wish I had kids so she would feel like she had a "job" to do I think she would.

As I sit here on Saturday sometimes I wonder if my brain ever really does shut off. I mean I am always thinking figuring wondering working. I wonder what it would be like just to sit and not try to do all that stuff. Praying I figure out how to be still physically spiritually mentally and emotionally before God forces me to do it. Also praying for a VERY SUNNY winter up here in NE Ohio! LOL!! Gotta have my priorities straight you know.

Seeking Only YOU!

This still has to be one of my most FAVORITE songs! Putting it with these pictures just reminds me again just what type of relationship God WANTS to have with us. He wants us there in His lap being able to love on Him but also for us to receive all that love that He has to give us. Just a quick video that I thought I would pass along. Praying it speaks to you as it did to me.

New Fav

This has nothing to do with anything but last night as I was watching The.Biggest.Loser I saw this commercial that almost made me cry. AT&T doesn't have good service in my area but just for a moment it made me want a phone that helped find lost puppies!


Is there something that you have been sucked into before because of the advertising?

Quiet Moments

The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 2 Kings 19:11 & 12

This has to be one of my favorite stories. I remember one fall morning praying pleading before God for one of my friends who had been trying to get pregnant and was facing her 3rd pregnancy with no baby to bring home. It was the weekend and she was bleeding and "knew" it was a miscarriage. I opened my Bible directly to this story and started reading. Tears welling up inside as God pointed out the similarities between Elijah's story & my friends. So clearly I remember God impressing upon my heart..."in the quietness of her pain is when I will show her how big I (God)really am." He did just that Monday morning when she finally went in to the Dr. to find out if she was going to have to have a D&C instead of seeing an empty ultrasound screen she saw the flickering heartbeat of her baby girl.

This is the devotional today I received from Sarah's Laughter that I wanted to share with you.

One of the heartbreaking aspects of infertility is the deafening silence of our homes. Others may complain of being awakened in the night by the sounds of a baby’s crying, but you could imagine no more beautiful symphony. You long for the day when a child’s laughter peals through the halls of your home and you have to remind playing children to use “inside voices”. The quietness of a childless home is so very loud.

What do you do in those quiet times? Those times when your spouse is not home, the television is not on, and the phone doesn’t ring? You have fought your infertility as hard as you can for so many months and it seems that nothing is working. You’ve tried every remedy you’ve heard about, but it’s not getting you anywhere. You’re still not pregnant. You’ve watched your diet, you’ve taken vitamins and eaten the right foods, you’ve tried every treatment that every doctor has suggested. You’ve followed every suggestion you’ve been given and now you’re just tired. Sometimes you just want to run away and quit. You just wish God would speak to you in this big, booming voice and reveal to you all that you need to know, but the big, booming voice hasn’t appeared. May I suggest to you that you may feel much like the prophet Elijah may have felt one day at Horeb?

Elijah has been through quite an adrenaline filled battle of his own! He has faced down hundreds of prophets of Baal, and challenged them and their false god to a stand-off. Elijah mocked them, scorned them, even accused their god of being asleep or on vacation before praying to our one true and living God and showcasing the glory of God before hundreds of people! After calling fire down from heaven and proving that God was God and Baal was not, Elijah seized and killed all the false prophets right then and there! There was nothing half-way about Elijah! He loved God with amazing zeal, and proved it with his life. But now he was tired. He had given his all in trying to show people that God really was who He said He was, and now there were those who wanted to take his life. Elijah was afraid and hiding. The same guy who just days before was mocking hundreds of false prophets to their faces was now in hiding, asking God to end his life before someone else killed him. The very same God he had so adamantly represented only days before was about to intervene in his life in a powerful-but unexpected way.

God told Elijah to stand on the mountain and what a sight he must have seen! Scripture says “a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord;” The power and presence of the Lord was so mighty that the mountains were literally breaking in pieces before Him! But notice this...but the Lord was not in the wind. I probably would have thought God was in the wind, but no! He wasn’t in the power of the wind!

What happened next? An earthquake shook the very ground Elijah stood on! If you’re from California, perhaps you understand the power it takes to shake the earth itself, but look what Scripture tells us: “but the Lord was not in the earthquake”. Wind strong enough to tear apart mountains, earthquakes? What’s next? Fire! Elijah must have thought he was having a really bad day, especially since Scripture tells us the Lord was not in the fire! Where was God in the midst of all this chaos?

We finally see where God was in 1 Kings 19:12: and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. Elijah finally heard the voice of God in a gentle breeze. Not in a powerful wind or a huge earthquake, but a quiet breeze. In the stillness of the easy breeze that blew across his face, the voice of God came to Elijah and changed him. God talked to Elijah and told him what to do. Elijah’s life was changed because he heard God in the stillness of a quiet moment.

In those still, quiet moments, when it’s just you and God, listen for His voice. You’ve gone through a difficult round of treatment or a hard month when you thought you had finally conceived, only to get another negative test. Now you’re sitting in the silence in your living room and it’s down to you and God. Listen for His voice in this silence. Listen for His voice in the silent moments of your life. Step away from the chaos of infertility, even if only for a few hours, and focus on God. Listen for His voice in the stillness, in the quietness. Take advantage of the silence, even if the silence hurts right now. Tell Him how it hurts and listen for His voice. Perhaps like Elijah, you’ll find Him in the stillness of a gentle blowing.

It's always exciting to see how BIG our God can be if we are just still in His presence.

Last Days

Today is the LAST day of Summer! Can not believe that this summer is already over. It's crazy how fast the time flies by around here. Not sure if it is the fact that I am in the ministry or if it is because we live in Ohio and winter seems to last AT LEAST 6 months around here.

Going into this summer I knew that God was going to be moving me and shaping me...asking me to step outside of what I was use to and into more of what He has called me to. As if I haven't enough already. I wanted to be a mom & a teacher growing up. Some may look at my life and say I have accomplished anything of what I wanted to do. That would be me some days. There was no desire to me FULL time in the ministry. But God's plans always seem to be so much bigger than mine. Not sure why that fact still amazes me.

Around here summer always starts off with camps. What that meant for me personally was that I was going off of fertility meds. For the safety of the children there was no need to have emotional mood swings if I had no chance of seeing my husband. Shawn was so ready for a break as well.

Anyways back to camps...Jr/Sr High camps were AWESOME! Our Youth Pastor is phenomenal at ushering in God's presence in such a real and tangible way. The kids GOT IT! It was awesome to see God moving and changing their hearts each day during each service. Incredible to watch God's hand at work healing hurts of this fatherless generation. Elementary camp was equally as cool! How amazing it is to be part of a leadership team that is part of teaching these babies in Christ how to worship. To just soak in God's presence. How refreshing...Not to mention it was so much fun to watch several of our youth get their faces made in to pudding pies!

Came home from camp on a Wednesday night prior to the annual 4th of July party at my house and went right back in to finalizing VBS for 150 kids. We actually met our goal this year. We had 180 registered with an average of 145 each evening. My FAVORITE part about VBS is the fact that not only did we preach the gospel to 180 kids but we involved over 80 volunteers each evening! WOW! I LOVE IT WHEN THE CHURCH FAMILY allows God to show up and show off in them!

The rest of July & August was full of regrouping, recouping, restructuring, Revolve Tour with our preteen & teen girls. But also wondering where the summer went. Life is slowly getting back to normal...routine...I feel as if so much has happened on the spiritual front of things by personally and for our church body as a whole. Feeling things shifting and moving. Wondering what God has in store for us next.

Every event this summer was an extraordinary event. God showed up and showed off countless times. As tiring as the summer was at times it was twice as rewarding and I believe that we will be reaping the benefits as we continue to sow into what God has called us to do as long as we allow God to heal our wounds of past hurts and past pains of un met expectations.

All I know is as I step foot into fall I do not want another ordinary season. I come expecting for God to immeasurably more than I can hope for or even imagine...

I woke up singing this song and as I read the words again it is my hearts cry & will be my daily prayer.


Our beloved Father, please come down and meet us
We are waiting for Your touch
Open up the heavens, shower down your presence
We respond to Your great love

We won’t be satisfied with anything ordinary,
We won’t be satisfied at all

Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don’t want blessings, We want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don’t want anything but You

Our beloved Jesus, we just wanna see You
In the glory of Your light.
Earthly things don’t matter, They just fade and shatter
When we’re touched by love divine.

We won’t be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won’t be satisfied at all

Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don’t want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don’t want anything but You

Here we go, let’s go to the throne
The place that we belong, right into His arms

We won’t be satisfied with anything ordinary,
We won’t be satisfied at all.

BTCS

Did you know that it takes an average of 13 times of asking someone to come to church with you before they will?

This Sunday is BACK TO CHURCH SUNDAY!!! Don't forget to GO to church and take someone who hasn't been in a while with you!

I am believing that this Sunday will be a life changing Sunday for millions of people around our country. And Praying your church's seat are filled and running over as I am believeing for MY CHURCH!!

Found this video that describes my church!


DON'T STOP ASKING!!!
You never know which time will change their mind.

The Stool

As I start my morning I was just reminded of a video that our pastor showed a few months ago that I wanted to share with you.



At times I wonder why it is so hard to stay off the stool when you know that is where you are suppose to be?

THE Day...

Just can't believe that today is already September 1st!!! WOW!! Where has this year gone??

September 1st holds a lot of value around our house.

Not only is it 114 days till Christmas but it is also

THE day that Shawn & I met.

Hard to believe 14 years ago one night change my life...

Together for 14 years has changed both of us tremendously but

There is no one else I'd rather live this journey with!

Shawn...I love you!

Baby Weight

I went to the gym yesterday! :)

Well last Friday I finally made a decision. I have been holding back for years because of the "What If's". Told not to by friends and some doctors but Friday was the day I choose what to do for myself.

I am tired of not having a baby. I am even more tired of being over weight and not having a baby. Always thought you were suppose to carry around baby weight AFTER you had the baby...Not for me. I have been carrying around the (non) Baby Weight for over 10 years now. From emotional eating to gaining weight because of the meds I have been taking. Personally I am done with it!

I have always thought I was over weight but when I look back at pictures I wonder what a distorted view I must have had of myself. The weight I am now is not the most I have ever weighed but close to it. My goal is to lose 50 lbs by the beginning of December...17 weeks...3 lbs a week. Three pounds a week on the biggest looser would be a disgrace but 3 lbs a week for me with be a VICTORY!!!

On Friday I signed up for a gym membership. I know that is the only way that I will lose weight. Some may be able to do it by just dieting, but I know my body & I need more. I need the exercise. The good news about my membership is it is less than a dollar a day & there is no contract. So WHEN i do get pregnant if there is any complications where I can't work out I will be able to cancel my membership without any penalty.

So as a reward to myself for becoming healthier...I am booking a condo on Madeira Beach for a week next summer. The date we are looking at is more than a year away but I can't wait. I NEED a real vacation! Haven't had one in a while and am looking SO forward to planting my skinny white butt in the sand!

All of that to say WORK OUT DAY 1: Success!!

Treading Water

The best I can...This summer has been a complete rollar coaster of events.

-The excitement of getting a new puppy the beginning of June.
-The sadness of not being pregnant for our 12th wedding anniversary.
-The excitement of Jr/Sr high camp & then Cadet camp.
-The frustration of coming back to reality of Shawn NOT doing what he said while I was out at camp for two week.
-The saddness in the death of my tomato plants.
-The AWESOMENESS of SonRock Kids Camp VBS!
-The week after VBS finding out that 7 people we pregnant in 7 days.
-Wonderful news that one of my BEST friends (from VA) has found an AWESOME man and the fact that his family lives 30 mins away from me & they were coming for a visit!!!
-Looking forward to vacation and then coming back realizing it was the second worst vacation ever. (for many reasons that I won't go into right now).

Now it's back to reality...I have been off colmid for two CRAZY cycles...still not pregnant. One on my closest friends is due with her 3rd in Nov (I think it will be October). 7 people around me will be having babies this spring.

With FALL staring me in the face I sit here & wonder do I go back to the doctor and start this process of having a baby all over again? Do I take a hint and just give up? or Do we look into adoption?

As I sit here feeling like I am treading water I am ever so great full for friends...My friend Sarah brought me some pictures to go in the "nursery" So as I go in the "nursery" each day I look on the wall and am reminded of

Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest...IF we do not give up!"

2 Chronicles 15:7 "But as for you, be strong and DO NOT give up for your work will be rewarded..."

Jeremiah 32:27 "See, I am the Lord the God of all flesh; is anything too hard for me?"

So I ask you...What is impossible for God?

...Nothing...

Life is Like a Batch of Cookies...

What do all these things have in common???

flour
baking soda
salt
butter
sugar…white & brown
vanilla extract
eggs
chocolate chips

LIFE

I was watching my friends 2 little girls this weekend while they went out of town for a wedding. They were so much fun. They are 4 & 2 and are expecting a baby sister this fall. Their daddy is going to have his has full when it comes to those teen age years.

They begged me to make a batch of cookies on Saturday night so we did. As we were reading the directions carefully (I am a cook NOT a baker...toooooo many exacts) I let them taste each ingredients as it went in to the bowl. God chose to use something as their reactions to speak to me about where I was in life right now.

Flour was first...the 4 year old said "it doesn't have a taste...it's dry"It got me thinking of how many times in life I feel like I am in such a dry place. Wondering if I am ever going to be refreshed again. Or maybe in a place that is just BLAH.

Baking Soda & Salt...the 4 year old turned up her nose at the baking soda and insisted that salt DOES NOT go in the cookies that her mom makes. Sometimes we don't see the need for events or things that happen in our life but without them our food would be tasteless.

BUTTER!! The 2 year old thought it was the best thing that I let her try butter without bread. The 4 year old smashed it between her finger and said it was smooth and slimy. She also said that butter only taste good with bread not by it's self. What/Who would I be without my husband. He is the one that God has paired me with. He is my strength & I am his helpmate. without him I am just "smooth & slimy".

SUGAR both brown & white. They both LOVED the sugar. They noticed the difference in color, texture & taste. The funny thing is they didn't want to move on from the sugar. They wanted to stay right there and keep eating the sugar. I don't know about you but sometimes I am like that too. When I am in the sweet spot in life I don't want ANYTHING to change around me. I just want to stay there forever but if I don't move on my life won't be complete.

Vanilla Extract...smells good but by it's self the girls found out it doesn't exactly taste like it smells. The four year old also asked why it came in such a small bottle & why did we only add a "little tiny bit"? Sometimes in life things look good on the outside & if you don't mix them with the correct ingredients or if you allow too much of it in it will over take God's goodness and His plans for you.

Eggs...KIDS + EGGS = MESSY. They loved it! Really who in their right mind allows a TWO year old crack their own egg??? Just got me thinking as the egg went all over the place sometimes when God is trying to break us it gets a little messy. Sometimes when life is so over whelming we need to stop and remember one of God's many promises to us. "Come to me, all you who are weary & burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30. Verse 30 came to me right as I was trying to catch the 1/2 broken egg flying all over the table. LOL!

Chocolate Chips...Yup you guessed it the loved those too. Funny thing is we had two different sizes...chunks and mini chips. They reminded me of the sweet goodness of God's truths that we need on a daily basis. Sometimes the nuggets He gives us throughout the day a CHUNKY and not easily missed but other days they are like the mini chips that sometimes you have to search out during you day but they are ALWAYS there.

As we were mixing it together we added the dry ingredients slowly allowing them to each use the hand mixer and shake a little dry stuff in with the wet the two year old bumped the dry bowl and it spilled some. I scooped what I could back in to the bowl and kept mixing until it was ready to scoop. Everything looked great but when the batter started to bake I noticed something...the cookies were spreading out like thin pancakes. I took the dough out and started really looking at it trying to figure out what I missed. Then it hit me...after cleaning up the mess of the spill I forgot to finish adding the dry ingredients. While it may have appeared as if the dough was complete it wasn't there was still more to add. I finished mixing everything & the rest of the batches turned out perfect!

I love it when God speaks so clearly that there is NO mistaking it was HIM.

Forgive me Father when there are ingredients that You give me that I see no use for or don't think I need it or don't want it. I thank & praise You Father for all the ingredients in my life.

My Morning...

Couldn't wait for this weekend. My friend Sarah came for a visit and brought her new wonderfully awesome boyfriend Andrew. I am so glad I got to spend sometime with both of them. Shawn had a company picnic that he had to go to and I stayed home with one of my friends two girls that I had this weekend so they could go to an out of town wedding. BOY was my morning fun...

As Sarah & Andrew came in the girls (ages 2&4) woke up. I brought them out to the kitchen table so Harley wouldn't jump on them and give them a little time to wake up. So I go back to finishing up breakfast. I notice that the 4 year old is sitting with her legs wide open and I tell her to sit like a lady and close her legs. Well I went to move her back and I see POOP smear across the table. The smart person that I am I say, "What is that??" The aroma quickly fills the air and I quickly grab her and take her to the tub. Sarah, thankfully, jumps up and starts cleaning the table, while Andrew was sitting there I KNOW thinking, "THE KID JUST POOPED ON THE TABLE and I am suppose to EAT HERE?????????"

We get everyone & thing cleaned up and we finally sit down for breakfast. I made eggs with sausage, fresh cantaloupe & bacon. I was sitting next to the 2 year old and she was pounding the bacon. She had 3 pieces and wanted a 4th but I thought it would be a great idea for her to eat a little egg first. I have made her eggs in the past and she has loved them...well apparently this time she didn't like the texture of the eggs and sausage mixed together and she throw up everything that she had eaten this morning. Thankfully most was covered by my napkin and all landed in the plate. I got up and cleaned her up and fixed her a bowl of Life cereal.

Sarah looked up at Andrew and said..."How many kids did you say you wanted again?"

Thankfully Sarah & Andrew STAYED till about 2. We all swam and thankfully lunch was pretty uneventful.

PS...Sarah you have quite a catch on your hands...I love him! I am so excited for you! :)

Swim Time

Hoping everyone out there had a fabulous Fourth of July and that you have a great rest of July as well. As for us...our pool is open so we had somewhere around 30 people at our house for the fourth. More food than we could possibly eat. The laughs and great memories were overflowing as well. We had such a great time!

Thankfully our swim time wasn't anything like the swim time at camp...take a look!


Yes that is our Youth Pastor & another one of our youth leaders. God has richly blessed us with an amazing Youth Pastor & leadership team. Please join with me in praying protection over their lives, their families, peace in their minds bodies & souls. Pray for great ideas to continue to come forth to reach this generation of leaders!

More camp memories to come...

Summer Camp

Just in my office for a few but I wanted to jot down a few things before I head back out again. Finished up with probably the BEST Jr/Sr High camp EVER!!! I only have one word to describe it right now AMAZING. I can't wait to sit down and be able to blog about it because I don't want to ever forget how truly amazing it was. Here is just one picture of how much fun these kids had.

I have a little work I need to finish up for this week and then I am back off to Elementary Camp that started this week. Praying all who read this blog are having a blessed summer.

Choices...

Ahhhh it's Friday! My day off...It feels like the first day I've had off in FOREVER! It's just that the days are so jammed full these days it is nice to be able to sit and enjoy.

Summer time has to be hands down my busiest season. Which I kind of don't like because that's when everyone wants to hang out & be outside but I'm so crazy busy its hard to enjoy it. We have 2 camps & VBS coming up. So we have a planning meetings, fund raisers, parent meeting, brainstorming meetings. All kinds of stuff. Crazy!

Saw this video on another blog that I love to read. I walked around singing this for the rest of the day. I am in such a busy season right now working with so many people things can sometimes be unsettling. Stepping out in leadership can be difficult at times. Having to put my faith in God that He has placed the right people in front of me at the right times and that He has given me the wisdom to read their gifts & abilities correctly to place them in a spot where they will thrive yet grow. But even when/if they fail, because EVERYONE is human, I can still hold my head up and say no matter what God I will bless your name.

There are so many other areas in my life that I let the eroding waters of sin in my heart at times. Whether it is if we will ever have a baby, or if it is a negative spirit towards my husband, or leadership in the church. All of those things can be stopped by just one thing...Worshiping God. The maker, creator, perfecter of my faith! Blessed be YOUR name! Today (and everyday hopefully) I pray that my heart will choose to say BLESSED BE YOUR NAME!