Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Crossing Over

I met with 2 Case Workers on Friday. Ours and Little Mans. Both were good informative meetings but I can't wait to meet our ADOPTION Case Worker to actually call. I've been that he is very proficient and he has the tendency to get adoptions done in as little as 3-6 months. It seems like a long time on one hand but when I think about the face that we have waited 16 years 3-6 months doesn't seem too bad.

 Our 45 day case review will be the end of May. Now that the state has PC this is our actual 1st step on the adoption process. We can officially start calling him by the name we are giving him. It's going to be a crazy summer...it usually is...I've just never done this crazy schedule with a toddler. He's almost 15 months & he is allllllllll boy!

As we get ready to crossover to adoptive parents I am getting a done of questions from many different people. My friend emailed me this the other day and I saw it again on Pinterest. I thought it was so funny so I thought I'd share.

Boob Job Rule

Monday, April 21, 2014

Overwhelmed

It's Monday morning and I am still overwhelmed by this past week. It was Easter week...Holy week...Company coming in week...PC Hearing week.

Thinking back to Easter growing up it was a big deal...Still is in my mind. Being raised Lutheran we went to church every Wednesday during Lent then Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Sunrise service on Easter out to breakfast and then BACK to church for the 11AM service. Being the youngest of four kids & going to a church that did not have "Kids Classes" I did not enjoy sitting still that long but I did enjoy the family time that week created for me. I always loved when we were all together.

One of my favorite services of all year was the Good Friday service. At the end of the sermon when the Pastor was done teaching on what happened that night so many years ago the lights would get dimmer and dimmer until it was completely dark. After reading from the Gospels he would end with the room completely dark and say "It IS finished!" Slam the big giant Bible was reading from closed. It was crazy silent. And everyone would leave in the stillness and the darkness. No one spoke. We just all got in our cars and left.

This year was a year I hope I never forget. This year right in the middle of the week Wednesday was our  permanent custody hearing. I barely slept Monday or Tuesday night between a sick baby and praying I didn't get much rest. Birth-mom contacted the paternal grandparents a few weeks back. She asked if she could see the 2 yr old and said she was going to do whatever it took to get the baby back. We've been fasting and praying for little man's safety. We have been praying for God's will to be done & to protect little man from any harm.  She even had the nerve to show up at the paternal grandparents house the day before court. Saying many things that weren't true about what she had done and was going to do through the state.

My heart hurts for her yet I'm angry at her. I see this child that someone must have mistreated and never gave a chance to. So now she is caught in a vicious cycle...but angry for being an adult and NOT stopping it. Maybe no one has ever told her she could or about her Savior

Wednesday @ 10 was our date. PC hearing means that all rights of parents that are involved can be terminated. The judge could rule that day, he could request an actual trial or he could take weeks to review the case and then make a decision. We were there by 9:40 AM and set with the GAL and talked small talk until it was time for him to go back. He said not to be surprised he believed he had seem the birth mom there but he had only met her once & wasn't for sure.

At 10:02 they called us back to the court room. Went back out and called any other parties pertaining to *the baby's name* to come forward.

No one came. No grandmother...No Birth-mother...No Birth-father...No one...

They came back in closed the door and started.

Sitting next to the GAL's boss I was trying to sit still & act professional . When they closed the door she said softly. "Oh well that's not good."  I answered back softly thinking maybe she was talking to me..."what's not good? Is everything ok?" She didn't respond.

About 15 mins in the GAL's boss leans over to me and said "Take a breath. You have already won."

Right then and there I was overwhelmed with emotion. Seriously almost became a sobbing mess right there. Shawn grabbed my hand. I was reminded where I was and it probably wouldn't be a good thing for me to react that way in where I was.

After the Caseworker left the stand they talk to the other attorney & the GAL. Then the judge said I will make my decision.

We found out this Friday on Good Friday that It Is Finished...

The parental right have been severed. He was declared abandoned. Permanent Custody has been granted to the state for our little man.

We can now move forward with declaring him our son.

I am thankful that while he was "declared" he will never have know the feeling of being abandoned.

Overwhelmed by so many things this past week. I have been overwhelmed with excitement, tears, love, joy, sadness (for the birth family).

This being Easter weekend I just kept thinking how overwhelmed I was by God's love for me...for Shawn...for our little man. That while we were yet sinners HE died for me...went to hell for me...and sits at my Father's right waiting for me.

I heard this song this morning...it just seems to fit.

Overwhelmed






Tuesday, March 11, 2014

New things!

Just wanted to jot somethings down so I don't forget how much I love him and all the cute things he does.
 
-He loves to scare people...He can't say BOO so he says AHHH! And laughs HYSTERICALLY when you jump. 

- He knows what a Duck and a Motorcycle says. He says "Bye dogs" and "good girls" when talking about the dogs. LOVES LOVES LOVES Harley! He will lay on her just to chill and loves to play with her ears. 

- He is letting go when he pulls up & will even hold a cup and drink from it with out holding on but has NOT taken his first steps. I pray Shawn & I are both there when he does.
 
-He loves to cuddle at night and in the am.

We had his 1 yr old pictures and drs appointment last week. Can't wait to post his cuteness in picture form on here. He weighs 22 pounds and is 32 inches long. As the dr said he is perfect in every way!

I love him! 

I can't wait for the day to call him my son! 


Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Thankful

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 

There is ALWAYS something to rejoice in, pray for & give thanks for!

Today...March 4th was suppose to be our PC hearing...We were suppose to be celebrating the next step in adopting our son...BUT birth mom has a new "confined" location as of  this weekend. Knowing where she is by law they must serve her papers. Birth dad is pitching a fit the his parents wanting them to take him. They say they can't...I've lived with this little man for a year...As much as I love him IT IS HARD WORK! For some people who are in their mid-50's to 70's with health concerns being up all hours of the night loving a screaming teething child on less than 2 hrs of sleep is hard work! I get so stuck on knowing how to pray. I don't want to pray selfishly. 

I honestly do want what is best for this little man. My heart aches for him! I know that I know that I know this is not going to be an easy road...either way...but I know that I know that I know God has put him in our lives for a reason. I know he is a world changer. I know that God has a plan for him! It is one of prosperity & hope! Today I have to focus on 3 things...

Rejoice always! Father I rejoice because you are a Father that loves me unconditionally! You love this little man of God MORE than I do! I know you have his best interest at heart! I with out a doubt KNOW you have dreams for him that will be wild & crazy! That's why you have chosen US to be part of his world! 

Pray continually! Father you alone know the out come of this chapter of our lives. You are our protector, YOU are our provider! For you created this little man of God in the inner most beings of his mothers womb. I praise you for he is fearfully and wonderfully made! I know that full well! I ask that you continue to protect his destiny and give Shawn & I wisdom on how to raise him and how to handle each and every step of this process. Provide us with strength, peace and continued guidance.

Give THANKS! I thank you that the PC hearing was at 9AM and I didn't have to dwell on this all day. I thank you Father that in a few hours I will leave my job and will pick up our soon to be son, go home to a loving husband and enjoy my evening in a safe and warm home. I thank you Father that your favor sounds us like a shield! I thank you that your ways are better than my ways. I give you all the glory all the honer all the praise to YOU and you alone!





Wednesday, January 22, 2014

A year ago...

A year ago today I was struggling to breath knowing that my 3 beauties were going to be going back to where they were taken from. How to explain to a 3 year old that he wasn't going to see mommy & daddy everyday. How do you teach a 9 year old how already struggles GREATLY to practice his spelling and reading by himself. How do you teach a 5 year old to shower by herself and get all the shampoo out. Reminding them all to brush their teeth & hair but most importantly to pray every day whenever they needed anything.

They went back Friday February 9th...We mourned, we cried deeply, we prayed & asked God to reassure us that He really did know what He was doing, we laughed about the memories we made. We had no idea what God had planned.

Sixteen days later our world went from such extreme mourning to the highest high I have known. We met our little man that would change our world. Today we celebrate his 11 month birthday! I didn't know if we'd see this day. I can't wait to plan his adoption Gottcha Day party!

11 Month Statistics
20.12 pounds
24" long
Still sleeps through the night...most nights.
Eats 6oz bottles every 5 hrs & LOVES veggies! Little man you will eat almost anything we offer you. You love fruits too!
LOVES to cuddle in the morning after your bottle 
LOVES to crawl everywhere and tries to get in to every cabinet.
LOVES to play & wrestle with the dogs
Does not like to sit still much
Is starting to repeat words. Even in your own way repeated I love you on a road trip. Daddy said "That crap is so cool!!! How'd you teach him that?!" :) 
STILL LOVE LOVE LOVES Bath time
Still smiles and laughs when I sing "HIS" song to him (You are my little man you are so very grand! I love you all the way from your nose to your toes.)
Has met his entire forever family! 
Loves to play fetch with anything you can throw!
Loves to play with friends. 
Laughs OUT LOUD when you burp or toot . You are such a boy! 
Has been off your acid reflux medicine for a week now :)

My little man you are the fulfillment of God's promises to your daddy & I. March 4th is a big day for us. Praying that you will be our son by the end of April! We love you! And thank God daily for every breath you take!