Friday, October 31, 2008

Made...

Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16

It excites me that HE already knows how many hairs are on my children's head...exactally what his toes are going to look like...exactally who he is going to be when he grows up...just how much I already love him!

Thank you Lord for your promises!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

21 Things on 10/21

Saw this on one of the Blogs I follow and thought I'd try it!

21 Things on 10/21

1. Where is your cell phone? On the nightstand
2. Where is your significant other? in bed next to me SICK!
3. Your hair color? DARK brown and red..just like the fall leaves :)
4. Your mother? Kathryn Gayle; lives in Tampa
5. Your father? Paul "Skip"; lives with Jesus
6. Something you’re not wearing? Jewelry
7. Your dream last night? Don't remember it all...but it was funny!!
8. Your dream/goal? To live a productive, happy life with my husband and future children!
9. The room you're in? In my bedroom
10. Your fear? That I'll never have my own child to watch grow up
11. Where do you want to be in six years? Raising our children where ever God leads us
12. Where were you last night? Had Mike and Natalie over for dinner
13. Where you grew up? TAMPA FLORIDA!
14. The last thing you did? Went to Jackie and Danny's LAST Cell Group...
so sad...
15. What are you wearing? PJ's shorts and my friend Shannon's t-shirt
16. Your TV? Watching FRIENDS
17. Your pet? Two beautiful puppies!!! Razy and Sadie
18. Your car? PT cruiser
19. Your mood? Trying to relax and get ready for bed
20. When is the last time you laughed? Just now watching FRIENDS
21. Last time you cried? Last week because the Brenner's are moving to Arizona...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Standing on His Promise

There has been so much going on here the past few weeks. I started looking back at the calendar and twelve weeks ago we were... Preparing our home for a new baby, Getting ready for yet another birthday of mine, the birth of baby Eli, the death of Shawn's grandmother, the death of McLovin' (Taylor's bearded dragon), went on vacation, went back to Rocky Mount, moved the girls out, went through a very interesting empty nest time, prepared for Fall Fest @ work, found out that our dearest friends from Ohio are moving to Arizona, and so much more that I could go on all day.

What amazes me is how much happens in twelve weeks and how much is gone none of that will ever happen again. There are times when I wonder what could I have done different to make more of an impact on every single one of these experiences? Live goes by so fast and is filled with so many things and people but when I sit still there are times when I feel so empty and alone. I am thankful that I have a Father that lets me feel but doesn't allow me to stay in those places...I am thankful that I serve a King that is full of promise and hope. There are days when all I can do is stand…Stand on His promises for me and my family.

Jeremiah 29: 11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Philippians 4:12-13 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Psalm 138:8 "The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever—do not abandon the works of your hands."

Romans 4:20 "Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised."

Numbers 23:19 “The Lord will grant you abundant prosperity in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground-in the land he swore to your forefathers to give you.

Deuteronomy 28:11 God is NOT a God that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not fulfill?"

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Never say Never

I remember when we first were married waaayyy back in 1997 I remember Shawn and I talking about children. We would go on birth control for the first year and then start trying year two or three to have a baby. We talked about foster care. We both agreed that we would never do the foster care thing it would be too hard and complicated. Sounds like a plan huh?! After 11 years and 4 months it is clear to say God had other plans. Although I know that He has promised us children its the where when and how that is still in question.

As I have mentioned in other blogs we had a some kids come live with us for 8 months. YES pretty much just like foster care except we didn't get paid by the state...They went home the a few weeks ago. The oldest one had a beautiful baby boy while living with us. He is growing like a weed now! He went from 5lbs 6oz(lowest weight) to 11 lbs 2oz. She is a great mom and loves him so much! The four 4 old has started preschool & LOVES IT. The 15 year old is doing great in high school. I am so proud of them! Just as much as it was an adjustment when they moved in but I think that its more of an adjustment now that they are not here.

So this puts us in a strangely familiar place of what do we do now. The question of our baby comes back to where, when, and how. The Doctor that I went to while living in Rocky Mount was wonderful but with the jobs Shawn had and the fact that he lived up here for 9 months didn't help the getting pregnant factor of things. I could go to the Dr all I wanted and take all the fertility meds but apparently your other half has to actually BE there to get pregnant. Were do we stand on the baby thing you may want to know...We are going to finish up our foster care to adopt license just in case our baby is suppose to come from someone else's tummy but I have also FINALLY made a Dr. appointment.

Can you believe that it has been 2 1/2 years since I have been to the Dr??? Why in the world did I wait that long at 33 years old?? Yes I know that my "Time Clock" is ticking. But with moving I wasn't sure how to pick out the best of the best baby Dr. I have been praying about it for some time now...talked to some people about it...made what I deemed as a rational deduction of Dr...prayed about it some more and then FINALLY made an appointment. My appointment is Thursday October 30. (just 2 days after my dearest friend from OHIO is moving CLEAR ACROSS the country to Arizona. Which may make this Dr think I need some other sort of help other than him) Please pray for this appointment to go well.

Ultimately, I pray and dream that he'll take one look at me and say "YEP your pregnant! Let's do an ultra sound to see how far along you are! OH LOOK THERE'S TWINS!!! A boy and a girl!" Yes...I already have their names picked out. But realistically pray that he knows exactly what I need to do to become pregnant with out thousands and thousands of $$$ and years and years and years worth of test. Pray that this is THE Dr that God is wanting us to go to. Another important thing to me is to pray that he is a Christian that has beliefs that intermingle with ours. I've been to Dr's who are Christians and those who aren't. There is a difference in my opinion.

Well in case you were wondering that's where we stand on the KIDS issue. I have prayed for my children since I was young...SOOOO many reassurances that God knows the desire of our hearts and has plans on fulfilling the promises that He has given to us.

Hubby & I are going with a few other couples to see Fire.Proof this weekend with a few other couples. Suppose to be a great movie if you get a chance check it out...http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/

Happy Fall Ya'll!