Friday, December 26, 2008

Right Around the Corner...

Wow is it really right around the corner? 2009? ALREADY? Hard to believe.

Christmas 2008 was so different than any other Christmas but it was just what we needed. We spend Christmas eve night with some friends and their family. As I helped her prepare food for Christmas morning at their house A Christmas Story was on in the background. I couldn't help but think this isn't where I thought I'd be at 33, but at the same time how grateful I am for this journey that God has taken us on. Christmas Day we woke up early opened our stockings that my fabtab sister sent for us (we were suppose to be in Florida this year but for many reasons unable to go). Then headed out to our friends Mike and Natalie's for breakfast! They have 5 kids so it as a lot of fun watching them open presents! Breakfast was delicious and then after the presents there was a fashion show of all the new clothes (just the 3 girls...the boys were too busy putting their Lego's together and shooting the Nerf gun at everyone).

I am very sentimental...I still have confetti from the night I met Shawn, still have THE Thumper that my sister gave to me the day she introduced me to my brother in law. I have a hat that my friend Sarah made during one of her many attempts to teach me how to sew. I have really random things...but one of my favorite things is memories. I WISH i had the skill and/or attention span to make scrapbooks. There are so many memories both happy and sad of just this year that I never want to lose.


January started off with a bang...We went to Florida just after my sisters brain aneurysm surgery. Then to see our friend Barry get married and hang out at Disney with our friends Mike and Natalie. February wow what a month. We grew as a "family"! This is then month when the girls (all girls at the time bc Eli wasn't born yet.) came to live with us for what was suppose to be 3 weeks. March Another WOW month...Our close friend died suddenly unexpectedly and one of my best friends lost her husband...What God continues to do in Sarah's life amazes me! Sarah, I love you! Your faith-Your perseverance-Your honesty-Your "Youness" can never be matched! Not sure what else really happened in that month. April we opened the pool and entire month earlier than normal do to much begging from Taylor the 14 year old. One week after we opened it she began swimming in it and swam almost every day until they moved! May went to Florida to meet my handsome nephew for the first time. Wishing that was the only reason I went...my mom went into the hospital to have her galbladder taken out and stay for a month. My grandfather (my mom's dad) passed away. June camp, camp, and more camp! It was fun! July completely revised VBS, Eli's baby shower, 2 other mommy's baby showers, and my 33rd Birthday. WOW!! August ELI MADDOX graced us with his presence on the 5th! He was soooo tiny. The home going of Shawn's grandmother. September the girls and Eli went back to their home. Vacation to Rocky Mount and Hilton Head. October Fall Family Fun Fest, The Brenner's move to AZ, As much as we've moved...I never realized how impacting moving is for those who stay... WE MISS YOU GUYS! My first GYN appointment with an Ohio Dr. November Shawn's family came for Thanksgiving. And here we are in December so many changes, so many growth opportunities this year.

These are just of the life changing moments of 2008. I am excited to see where God leads us in 2009! Praying that EVEYONE stays healthy and happy!

Monday, December 22, 2008

I've Been Promoted

To the bed that is. Since Wednesday afternoon I have been on the couch in the basement trying to lay still and not lift or do anything that could possibly make scar tissue. Wednesday and Thursday are nothing but a blur to me. Friday, I honestly expected to feel really good SURPRISE I still felt like crap. Saturday finally off pain pills enough to drive and I went to work with plans to go Christmas shopping! I worked from 10-2 and I was pretty much done. Wasn't sure if I could deal with crazy Christmas people so I went home and went to sleep. I have NEVER slept so much as I have the past few days. Some people might enjoy that but I feel so unproductive and it makes me anxious. There is so much to that needs to still be done and I can't go at my normal pace it kind of makes nervous that I won't be able to get everything done. Anyways back to the procedure...

Here's how it went. Wednesday I woke up at 4:30am (went to sleep sometime after 1am) reminding myself "DON'T FORGET to pee in the cup!". I haven't had anything to eat or drink since about 10pm so I knew I needed to make this one count. I get in there open up the box and follow the 8 YES 8 instructions on HOW TO PEE IN THE CUP. By that time I am doing the pee pee dance around the bathroom making sure that I followed each and every last instruction because I won't be able to muster this up again. After that I crawled back into bed and waited and prayed until my alarm went off. We didn't have to be to the hospital until 8:30am but it was suppose to be icy so we left 2 hours ahead of time for a 45min drive. LOL! You gotta love my husband.

Got to the hospital and waited...isn't that always the way...hurry up and wait. They called me back and explained the procedure about 10 times by about 10 different people. At this point I am realizing that this procedure is going to be a little bigger than I thought. Everyone there was SO nice and helpful. Surprisingly, I wasn't very anxious at this point. They let Shawn come back and wait with me. In his nervousness made really inappropriate comments about all kinds of things. Like the funny looking guy in the waiting room with a comb over that went down the back of his neck. Then the Dr came back with the great news...the surgery had been bumped up one hour! YEAH ME!

I get wheeled back to the OR room and my first response was I wish I could stay awake to see how all this cool equipment works! They laughed and said that I was going to a much nice place. The anesthesiologist told me that she was putting something in my IV and then next was the "happy juice". The DR came over and held my hand and said something to the effect of he was going to fix me right up. Next thing I remember was waking up asking "can I go home yet?" All I could think about was getting home then I knew I could rest.

Shawn said that the DR came out and talked to him and told him the procedure went great. He was able to open up my left tube, removed all the endometriosis and scar tissue and made my uterus sticky! :) What every girl wants for Christmas! I have to admit when Shawn told me that he was able to open up my left tube I almost started crying. To me that was such an answer to prayers! And like every good husband asked, "Dr. How long before, you know, um, we can, um, try?" Don't know if that's EXACTLY how it was asked but I could just imagine. The Dr said 7-10 days.

As I was waking up all I could remember was what one of the nurses pre-surgery told me...If you don't ask for pain meds you won't get it...and you are going to need them. By that time Shawn was back there. He said that they gave me three different doses of pain meds before I actually fully woke up. I asked for ice chips and was able to keep that down and then they wanted me to eat. They brought me a Diet Coke and two different types of crackers. I ate one cracker and drink the entire Diet Coke, but apparently kept asking when I could go home. They gave me two prescriptions for some of the good drugs and sent me home.

I spent the next few days not being able to complete a thought without working really hard at it, Sleeping, watching movies, making plans for different things, talking on the phone or on the computer...but most importantly...praising God for allowing me to find this Dr. giving him the wisdom to find these issues and letting it and knowing how to take care of it and PRAISING GOD for this beautiful child(ren), world changer, that He has promised to us!

Well, its time to get back to the real world. Wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, cook dinner, clean the house, and go to bed to do it all over again. Still not feeling 100% so I am NOT going to lift anything or do anything too difficult. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Can you believe that Christmas is only a few days away??? Who knows I might actually be prego by the end of the year. I have been praying for this child of mine in 2009!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

In the Begining...

There was two...praying that there will be more!

Tomorrow is the day. I go in to the hospital at 8am and then the surgery is at 10am and hopefully home by 3pm. The surgery will consist of a D&C, removal of endometriosis & fibroid tumor, and praying for the opening of my left fallopian tube. God says to be specific when you pray...Please agree with us in prayer that the surgery will go well tomorrow and to guide the surgeons hands. The removal of the endometriosis & tumor will be removed easily with no scare tissue and that the tube can be opened easily. Ultimately a pregnancy this month! A healthy uncomplicated pregnancy and a healthy baby!

At the last encounter that Shawn went to before leaving Rocky Mount one of the guys prayed this Bible verse over us and it is something that we have been clinging to daily. The LORD will grant you abundant prosperity—in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground—in the land he swore to your forefathers to give you. Deuteronomy 28:11

Thanking you in advance for your continued prayers and love!!! I feel so blessed to have friends such as you!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Letting go & Moving on

I think I do a pretty good job of fulfilling Romans 12:15 most of the time. No ones perfect...please hear me...I'm not saying that I am...but my husband and I have been married for 11 1/2 years and off of birth control for 10 and we have had no baby as of yet. Still I have given baby showers, attended baby showers, took food over to new moms, held crying moms that their babies went to be with Jesus earlier than they ever thought. I have rejoiced with those who rejoice and mourned with those who mourn. I don't say all this to get a pat on the back or a way to go you rock. I say this because something was said...that mind you has been said before by a certain family that REALLY hurt deep last night.

The young mom who stayed at our house this year sang at a Christian coffee house last night and a whole group of us went to go hear her sing. Her mom & sister were there and also a friend that I have never met before. I've just heard a lot about this friend. As we are all sitting around the table waiting for her to sing I said to her, "When are you going to go out so I can watch the kids?" she said "I don't know". Her friend said, "You can't watch the kids. You'll keep them." The table got silent for a brief second. Then my friend Heather said, "Going out? Your going with us!" Its always good to have friends like Heather! She wanted to leg sweep the girl but I told her no. :) I have to say...I LOVE HEATHER!

It amazed me how just a few small words could crush my heart. This girl doesn't know me. Why would she say that to me? She doesn't know anything that I have gone through. She had to have heard that from somewhere. This family that I put my life on hold for 9 month to help thinks the only reason I'm have a relationship with them is to take the kids? The younger sister has said that before to me but she's 15. She just needed to be reassured of where our relationship stood.

God has chosen a mom for those two beautiful children...its not me...I'm ok with that! There is no one better suited to be their mom than HER! God doesn't make mistakes. Its NO secret that I love kids. And I love the parents that ALLOW me to love their kids. I know it is a privilege. But it still hurts to know that I may not be able to love, encourage, & minister to those children because someone in the family fears that I might take them away. That has never been a thought...

It amazes me how satan tries to use one comment to break a relationship, to damage a relationship. The balls in my court now. I have the chance to forgive, pray for them, ask God to remove any roots in my heart so they don't take hold, and to pray for the young friend that said it. I am moving on from this and stand firm on the promises that God has in store for me!

Friday, December 12, 2008

THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT

Someone sent me this email the other day. I thought it was worth reposting...is that anything like regifting?...anyways...

THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT
My husband and I had been happily married (most of the time) for five years but hadn't been blessed with a baby. I decided to do some serious praying and promised God that if he would give us a child,I would be a perfect mother,love it with all my heart and raise it with His word as my guide.

God answered my prayer sand blessed us with a son. The next year God blessed us with another son. The following year,He blessed us with yet another son. The year after that we were blessed with a daughter. My husband thought we'd been blessed right into poverty.We now had four children,and the oldest was only four years old. I learned never to ask God for anything unless I meant it.As a minister once told me,"If you pray for rain,make sure you carry an umbrella."

I began reading a few verses of the Bible to the children each day as they lay in their cribs. I was off to a good start.God had entrusted me with four children and I didn't want to disappoint Him. I tried to be patient the day the children smashed two dozen eggs on the kitchen floor searching for baby chicks. I tried to be understanding...when they started a hotel for homeless frogs in the spare bedroom, although it took me nearly two hours to catch all twenty-three frogs. When my daughter poured ketchup all over herself and rolled up in a blanket to see how it felt to be a hot dog,I tried to see the humor rather than the mess. In spite of changing over twenty-five thousand diapers,never eating a hot meal and never sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time,I still thank God daily for my children.

While I couldn't keep my promise to be a perfect mother -I didn't even come close...I did keep my promise to raise them in the Word of God. I knew I was missing the mark just a little when I told my daughter we were going to church to worship God,and she wanted to bring a bar of soap along to"wash up" Jesus, too. Something was lost in the translation when I explained that God gave us everlasting life, and my son thought it was generous of God to give us his "last wife."


My proudest moment came during the children's Christmas pageant. My daughter was playing Mary,two of my sons were shepherds and my youngest son was a wise man.This was their moment to shine. My five-year-old shepherd had practiced his line,"We found the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes." But he was nervous and said, "The baby was wrapped in wrinkled clothes." My four-year-old "Mary" said,"That's not 'wrinkled clothes,' silly. That's dirty, rotten clothes." A wrestling match broke out between Mary and the shepherd and was stopped by an angel,who bent her halo and lost her left wing.

As I slouched a little lower in my seat when Mary dropped the doll representing Baby Jesus, and it bounced down the aisle crying, "Mama-mama." Mary grabbed the doll,wrapped it back up and held it tightly as the wise men arrived. My other son stepped forward wearing a bathrobe and a paper crown,knelt at the manger and announced,"We are the three wise men,and we are bringing gifts of gold, common sense and fur."

The congregation dissolved into laughter,and the pageant got a standing ovation. "I've never enjoyed a Christmas program as much as this one,"laughed the pastor, wiping tears from his eyes "For the rest of my life,I'll never hear the Christmas story without thinking of gold, common sense and fur." "My children are my pride and my joy and my greatest blessing," I said as I dug through my purse for an aspirin.

I pray that one day soon I will become a mom who looks at the humor instead of the mess. I thank God daily for the promise of our children to come. I'm excited to see how we grow as we try to raise them and teach them about their heavenly Father. As in the story above seeing things through children's eyes can some different than seeing things through our filtered eyes.

As I endevore to serve God in every area of my life I know that my prayers will not return void. The answers may be different than what I expected but I serve a King that is not human and He keeps every promise that He makes. Thanking Him daily for His gift of His only son. That still amazes me...coming as a tiny baby but yet as a majestic KING!

Jesus had no servants,yet they called Him Master.
Had no degree,yet they called Him Teacher .
Had no medicines,yet they called Him Healer.
Had no army,yet kings feared Him.
He won no military battles,yet He conquered the world.
He committed no crime,yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a tomb,yet He lives today. Feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves us!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!