Sunday, May 3, 2009

Needing to Soak

I need to soak...

not because I have been painting the same room for the past 2 weeks and have paint all over me...although I did...not because I have been working out in the yard pulling weeds and cutting down bushes trying to get the yard ready for spring/summer...although I did...not because I have taken Sadie on a long walk in the woods by our house, which is one of my all time favorite things to do...although I have.

I need to soak in God's presence...Doing what I do for a living sometimes its hard to take time to find the presence of God. I know sounds weird huh?? Working at a church and find it hard to find God? It certainly isn't for a lack of SEEING God. WOW!! I have the opportunity to see God work on a daily basis just because I believe He is still working and moving in this world today! My problem is that there are times when I am too busy serving and have no time to find God's presence the way that I am use to doing. For me...that is one of the BIGGEST things that God showed me in Rocky Mount...I had access to HIM. One of the biggest ways was through praise and worship.

Sometimes I feel like a frantic child in the middle of a store who can't find their Daddy and the business of the store keeps going on around and no one is seeing my panic. Ever had one of those dreams where you can yell but needed too? That would be how this child must feel. Or there are other times when I feel like I am too hurt or wounded to even turn around to lift my arms up to Him. It's like I don't understand the pain...all I know is that I'm lost and hurt.

I know my life's story has not been totally revealed yet? All I see right now is that I don't have have my heart has desired since the time I was a child. Sometimes it's hard to remember, I can't see the entire description of my life yet! There’s simply not enough room in my heart or mind to contain all that MY Father has planned for me. I pray that one day, as my Father chooses to show me His plan for my life in His perfect timing, the story will make sense. Until then I am comforted by the fact that I can soak in His presence...

"I wanna sit at your feet drink from the cup in your hand. Lay back against you and breath, here your heart beat This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand. I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming" Kari Jobe, The More I seek You.

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