Saturday, October 24, 2009

Lately my posts have been kind of surface. I have had so many emotions running through my body. And honestly not knowing which way is up. Trying desperately just to stay focused Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Honestly barely having time to sit pray soak in God's presence. Not because I don't want to...I desire to...I crave it...but then on the same hand scared to. I wonder why. Like I said I want it, desire it, crave it. So then why in the world wouldn't I do whatever it takes to get it? I am praying for answers.

On the baby front...Shawn & I haven't talked about it since probably June. I keep saying come January we'll make a decision. Only God knows what'll happen. Adoption is never off the table, but the $$$$ to pay for it isn't in the bank either. My ultimate desire is to be a mom. That's what I have always wanted. I KNOW Shawn would make a great Dad too. We'll see...seems for now I have lots of other peoples kids to help care for and I am only getting older by the day.

Good news my Mom came up from Florida for a visit for about 10 days. It was a blast! I miss her. Praying she retires soon and moves up here for at least 6 months out of the year. Wish I had kids so she would feel like she had a "job" to do I think she would.

As I sit here on Saturday sometimes I wonder if my brain ever really does shut off. I mean I am always thinking figuring wondering working. I wonder what it would be like just to sit and not try to do all that stuff. Praying I figure out how to be still physically spiritually mentally and emotionally before God forces me to do it. Also praying for a VERY SUNNY winter up here in NE Ohio! LOL!! Gotta have my priorities straight you know.

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