Has God ever looked at you and said...Hey POT!! This is Kettle YOU'RE BLACK!!!
Don't you hate it when you get frustrated with something or someone and just when you think you are justified in your frustration and have it all planned out what you are going to say when asked what's wrong...God points out how you do that exact frustrating thing to Him each day but He still chooses to love you.
That's what happened to me last night.
My husband has been struggling with something’s lately and having difficulty expressing those feelings into words. I felt as though I had given him grace and was ready to put my foot down with what he did last night. He chooses a work dinner over going to a prayer meeting at church with me! I know what you’re thinking...he's a sinner!
Well I was ticked when he called and told me that he was going to a dinner meeting for work. So I acted like a "loving mature" wife and told him have fun and hung up the phone on him and ignored his phone calls when he tried to call me back.
Throughout the evening I was trying to figure out why that bothered me so bad. He's gone to dinner meetings all the time. He's missed church functions to go out on dinner meetings with work before. All that I felt were justified...then it hit me. He CHOOSES feeding himself physically over feeding himself spiritually. In my mind he chooses the world over God.
In my self righteousness I was so frustrated and angry how could he do that! LOOK at all God has done for him and he'd choose DINNER with work people over GOD??? That has to be something wrong with him. I admit so many things that went through my mind were extremely hypocritical.
Then God, my sweet & loving Father, so softly reminded me...You do that to me all the time...except "your work" is at a church. So many times you are too busy "doing" instead of just "being". I made you a human being NOT a human doing. How many times have you chosen work over time with me...just TODAY?
Before I worked in the ministry I use to be perfectly content to be a Mary...How, when, why have I changed in to a Martha?
Why have I become worried and distracted by so many things?
Why have do I feel like I am doing all the work?
Why do I wonder if Jesus even really hears me?
Why do I find myself talking AT God instead of listening to Him?
Why am I making excuses for what God's asking me to do?
Why am I still in the kitchen while others are lavishing worship on God?
Those are questions that I need to continually ask myself to make sure I am where I need to be. When you read them...what are your answers?
Father, please forgive me for being too distracted by “my work” to hear or love on you. Father forgive for my self-righteous attitude towards my husband. Thank you for loving whether I am a Martha or a Mary. Thank you Father so gently and lovingly pointing out areas in which you want me to grow & change. Thank you for your grace & mercy. Please help me to show others, especially my husband, that same grace & mercy when I feel hurt or wounded. You are an amazing loving Father & I am so thankful to be called your daughter!