This year holds so many promises. Just like each new day does. I am not exactly sure where to start.
This year has started out a little differently...We still had our same New Years Eve Bash at our house with our friends. My mom was there this time. She has recently retired so she spent the holidays up here with us. We had a white Christmas and a warm New Years. It has been fun reminiscing with her about my childhood...learning about her childhood...planning for a different future than what either one of us expected.
We are now in the second week of January 2011...WOW...tonight I finish up adoption classes. I can't help but wonder what God has in store for us. Honestly I have to admit I am a little scared...The not knowing, the fear of making a wrong move, what seems like never ending anticipation.
You are the God who performs miracles; YOU display your power among the people. Psalm 77:14
I don't usually start out the year anxious (not sure if that's the right word)...but this year I have...I don't particularly care for that...I feel like I don't know how to move forward. As if I have already used up all my Faith & Hope and have seen no change. Do I just need to have more patience? or am I just too scared of failing...If I am just too scared of failing that means I don't have the faith I profess to have. or am I just too selfish to fail for God.
The beginning of the year I am usually filled with HUGE hopes, desires, excitement, and anticipation of what God can and will do in the up coming year. In my, life in my husbands, life in the life of the church. Father forgive me of my selfishness, vain ambition, any foolish thing my heart holds.
As 2010 came to a close I feel the Lord stirred up this verse in my spirit...
Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do NOT hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities. Do NOT be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do NOT fear disgrace; you will NOT be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the *reproach of your widowhood (*the dissatisfaction/disappointment of the things that died to you). Isaiah 54:2-4
2010 was filled with extreme emotion...I don't know if I have ever been more thankful for a year to be over with before in my life. 2011 is filled with anticipation. I know my faith will be tested, strengthen, and blessed. I have a mustard seed of excitement of what is to come. Praying it grows stronger as the days go by. Rooted by the still quiet waters of His presence and surrounded by the quiet whisper of His voice.
I read a new blog this morning and she put it perfectly…
I can’t stop change from coming. I cannot. But I can choose to remember that He holds my ever-changing life in His never-changing hand. –Alece Ronzino
Praying in each new day that I will always remember YOU my loving Father hold me, your daughter's, ever changing life in the hand that has NOT changed since before there was time.