Thursday, February 26, 2009

Sarah's Laughter

I'm not talking about my friend Sarah's laughter, which it in itself is pretty infectious. If you know her you have love the laughter of THE Sarah W! Today I'm talking about this site I have recently found sarah's-laughter. I started receiving these Daily Devotionals from here and I love them! This one below was the one from today. I found it so impacting because it is not only valid not only for infertility but for life no matter what you have been praying for.

I’ll never forget that flight. As long as I live, I’ll always remember the fear that gripped me that day as I faced my mortality and prepared for my death.

I remember glancing out the window of the airplane to see if I could yet see the earth below me. I wanted to watch people scurrying about their day, cars lining the highways as commuters continued on their frantic pace. What I saw instead was terrifying. I saw pieces of the wing of the airplane coming loose! Fear gripped me in a way I had never known before and in my panic, I began to search the cabin for someone to help. Didn’t anyone else see the red lights flashing? No one seemed concerned. My family members were dozing or carrying on with their mundane conversations, and I alone knew we would soon plummet to a certain death! I could find no one to help me.

Fortunately, I knew that God the Father was always with me. I began to pray and ask God to help us. I asked that He repair the wings of this plane and bring us to safety. I earnestly prayed that He would cause the wing of the plane to be solid again and that the pieces of metal that looked as though they would fall off at any moment would move back into place and the red flashing lights would go dark. Please God! I have my whole life ahead of me! I have friends who love me! I have to start the third grade in two weeks!

Obviously, there was nothing wrong with the plane that day. The certain disaster I feared was nothing more than the pilot preparing to land the plane and causing the landing mechanisms on the wings to bring us down to the earth in safety. I thought I understood exactly what was happening, but somehow, in my eight years of existence on this planet, I had not yet learned the physics involved in flight. As I sat there in safety, yet believed I would soon die a horrible death, I begged God to make things different. I’m so glad He knew better!

I didn’t understand why God didn’t answer my prayer the way I asked Him to that day. Surely He saw the same thing I did! He could have caused the landing mechanisms to go back into their starting place if He had chosen to! Thank God He didn’t!

If God had done exactly as I had asked, a great tragedy would have followed. Chances are everyone on the plane would have died that day if God had forced the landing gear to malfunction as I unknowingly asked Him to. I didn’t understand that things were working for my good even though I couldn’t possibly see how.

As we struggle with infertility, we beg God to change our situation. We ask Him to allow us to conceive this month, not next month! We know this is the right time! We plead with Him to let this procedure work or to make this disease go away. What we don’t understand is that He has a plan. He knows what He’s doing, even when we’re like eight year olds who think they know how to land a plane better than the pilot does!

When you are disappointed with your fertility and with God and His apparent silence, remember an eight year old trying to land a plane. God’s ways were not my ways that day. God’s thoughts were not my thoughts. Did that mean He didn’t love me or didn’t care? Did it mean that He didn’t understand how afraid I was or how desperately I wanted Him to answer my prayer? Did it mean He didn’t have a plan? Not at all. It simply meant that He had a plan that I didn’t see or understand yet. I’m so glad He knew what I needed more than I thought I knew
what I needed.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways", declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8

"For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and NOT to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

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